Originally published Monday, 13 May 2013.
In honor of you, I decided I had to post this letter a little fashionably late, as it just did not feel right to post it on time
Seriously though, I know I was unable to be with you on Mother’s Day, so I just wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for being the woman that you are and the role model you are to me in my life.
It’s funny, as you get older, you start to see things from a different perspective and life has a way of making you realize what is truly important. It has a way of stripping away the BS and showing you who will actually be around forever.
Mom, let me first say, thank you for always being there for me. It goes without saying that I have made many mistakes in the 22 years I have been living so far, and yet not one of them made you mad enough to ever walk away.
I believe your presence is something I have sometimes taken for granted. Now, as I live in your home state of Texas and more than just a “drive” away from the shores of Carolina, I realize how much I miss you. Of course, I still talk to you ten times a day and feel the need to fill you in on the trivial details of my life, but it is just the unannounced peace that comes with you being in a room- I miss that dearly.
On that same note, thank you for always being willing to listen to the unnecessary, drawn-out stories I provide to you on a daily basis.
Thank you for always being there for me, for crying and laughing with me, and sometimes just sitting with me, as you always knew exactly what was needed.
You may not know this, but remember during my junior year of playing volleyball in highschool and I was not getting any playing time? Remember how you still came to every single match, while owning your own business and tending to three other kids?
Looking up in the stands and seeing your smiling face as you gave me a thumbs up was the only thing that allowed me to remain confident in my talent. You will never know how much that meant to me.
Thank you for signing me up for Karate in fourth grade even though I said I HATED it. It taught me a great deal of discipline and I learned the value of hard work.
Thank you for re-doing practically every poster I made for any school project. I knew the information but let’s just say that displaying that information and making it look “pretty” was NOT my forte.
Thank you for allowing me to wear umbros every single day in middle school. And I wondered why I never had a boyfriend… :-)
Thank you for listening to me “practice” my flute, even though it sounded absolutely horrible. Good thing I didn’t try out for the highschool band, you would’ve had to discourage me out of that one.
Thank you for letting me decorate my room however I wanted to and put glow-in-the-dark stars all over my closet ceiling. I guess then is when you realized interior decorating was not my strong suit? I now understand why y’all said my room resembled a Mexican restaurant, with tacky Christmas lights still hanging in July…my bad.
Thank you for laying in my bed and scratching my back after I thought I had lost the “love of my life.” I now see that even though you knew it was for the best, you allowed me to live in my reality and met me right where I was. You didn’t ask me to see my situation from your perspective because you knew I just needed a good cry.
Thank you for encouraging me to write for the longest time, because even though I didn’t listen, I started believing in my own gifts because you believed in them first.
Thank you for repeating the same advice over and over, even when I didn’t listen the first time. Your patience despite my stubbornness was a true display that you never held grudges.
Thank you for bracing dad and calming him before I had to talk to him about my (third?) speeding ticket. But hey, who’s counting right? Our insurance, I suppose. Oh, and thanks for letting me wear your hat so I didn’t have to look at him when I told him. I still laugh at this.
Thank you for always encouraging me to be myself in a world that tries desperately to make us all the same. You always said, “Be yourself because everybody else is taken”.
Thank you for forcing me to confront a few people in my life. You helped me realize that confrontation and transparency are both healthy and necessary. If we never stand up for ourselves, we shorthand the One who made us.
Thank you for sacrificing your time, your sleep, your peace of mind, your sanity, your money, your life- your everything- so that you could be the best mother you could to your four children.
You have absolutely no idea, nor will you ever be able to understand, how much you mean to me mom.
You have loved Jesus, daddy and those around you with an unconditional love that shows the tenacity and resilience that has always shined from the deepest parts of you.
Recently when we were around eachother, someone came up and told me, “You are getting more and more like your mama everyday.”
My first thought: I could never compare but I must be doing something right.
Thank you, mom, for being you.
Your precious heart, selfless spirit and steadfast, strong, stubborn mind will forever be an example to me.
Happy Mother’s Day!
I love you so very much.
P.S. I think you are now more beautiful than ever.