Why I'll Never Push My Need Away Anymore

Originally published Monday, 09 February 2015.

The journey to find rest begins with – my need.  

I've never had to think about my need prior to my journey to find spiritual whitespace. I've always been able to push through and just do my best to cope, manage, problem solve and be "fine". When really, I was numbing myself to the parts of me that really longed to known, to rest, to come alive -- apart from stress.

I know some of you may be feeling hesitancy or even anxiety to stopping -- to rest and spend alone time with God to nurture yourself. Because what if you'd discover there was a lot of need and you weren't sure how it could be filled?

In addition to what I shared in my book in the Introduction and in Chapter 1: Desolate Places -- I went yesterday to a very special place where a brook runs through the woods, to offer some heart-felt words of encouragement. Just for you.

Click here to watch this video. I think you'll find it worth the viewing. This is the encouragement God gave me to prioritize creating spiritual whitespace in my life:

One of the quotes in the book Spiritual Whitespace that has been highlighted the most by Kindle readers is this one:

But there comes a time when it takes more faith to fall apart with Jesus than to stay strong enough to stop it from happening.

Are you surprised?  I am so moved because I believe it touches our very human need for someone to hold us, our need for a place where we can just rest. Is that after all the sweetness of intimacy and love we have with a confidante? Why wouldn't time with God be any less tender and sweet?

Don't Push Need Away

But, those tender places in us are often the ones we hide or work hard to avoid.  If we're stressed, our first reaction is to problem solve and do whatever it takes to get rid of that "needful" feeling inside us.

I'm learning I don't ever want to push away that needful part of myself anymore. The part of me that might feel anxious, worried or confused .. or stressed.  Now, I take those weary parts of me as a prompt -- an invitation -- to listen to my soul and feed my soul.

To take time to get away with God -- to refresh my heart.

To receive the comfort. So, I can in turn comfort others.

To receive the rest and confide in all that I cannot control, fear will overtake me, or the uncertainty that I can't seem to chase away.

The Doorway to God's Whispers

You and I don't have to problem solve anymore. Because our humanity can't be problem solved.

Our humanity needs God's love.  We need His beauty, so we can bear the hardness and the difficulty of life that touches us or our loved ones. And we need the peace and the music or a safety in our souls -- so we can truly feel the joy with the tenderness of a heart that is open, vulnerable and alive.

Our need is the doorway to God's whispers inviting us to come to him.


Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while. (Jesus' invitation in Mark 6:31)

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely [desolate] places and prayed. (Luke 5:16)

(the Greek word is Eremos: Lonely, desolate, solitary, uninhabited, wilderness.)

[SAVOR. Cups of Rest]

* The journey to find rest beings with our need.

* If we’re not in touch with our need, spiritual whitespace will always fall last priority.

* To actually create space to nurture ourselves, we first need to be aware of our emotional need and to accept it -- rather than pushing it away.

* Jesus accepted this and he prioritized time to pull away and rest. There is nothing shameful or weak or embarrassing about need.

* We have two options we have when we are confronted with our need in our everyday life: (embracing our) Need vs. Numbing

[confide. PRAY]
Dear God. Help me to to come away with you when I am feeling my need.Help to value nurturing my soul, just like you did when you were human and faced the realities & demands of everyday life. I’m so glad you know what it’s really like to be real and you understand and love to take care of me when I feel needy. You love it when I allow you to take care of me, when I take time to nourish my body and soul and prioritize my well-being.

Where are you on the journey to rest– surviving, numbing, or awakening? How am I choosing to respond to stress: what are the ways you survive, numb or refresh?


Pull up a chair. * Who can you share this encouragement with today? *


{Today's post is part of Bonnie Gray's Online Spiritual Whitespace {Face}Book Club. It's free!  You can join anytime by simply liking Bonnie's Facebook Page.  Order a copy of her book and grab a journal!  Find out more & read about it here http://www.faithbarista.com/bookclub}



By Bonnie Gray. Bonnie is the soulful author of Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul To Rest, which has garnered starred review praise from Publisher’s Weekly, named as the Top 6 notable new religion authors.  Bonnie blogs at Faith Barista, serving up shots of faith in the daily grindShe writes for DaySpring (in)courage, Revelant Magazine, spotlighted by Christianity Today and Catalyst Leadership.  After graduating from UCLA, Bonnie served as a missionary, ministry entrepreneur, and Silicon Valley high-tech professional. She lives in California with her husband, Eric, and their two sons.

For inspiration to create space in your life to breathe, order a copy of Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul To Rest.  This memoir-driven guidebook for rest will nurture your heart to draw closer to God. 

"Whitespace is soul grace. Bonnie Gray ushers weary women into the real possibility." - Ann Voskamp, NY Times bestsellng author of One Thousand Gifts

"If you want to hear Jesus speak more tenderly to your soul than ever befrore, this is the book for you." - Lysa TerKeurst, NY Times bestselling author of Unglued

*Don't miss!* If you are new to Faith Barista, I'd like welcome you here. Click here to subscribe by email -(free) and get each post in this series served up hot and fresh directly in your mailbox