How to Forgive Your Parents for Past Hurts

How to Forgive Your Parents for Past Hurts

At the age of eighteen, I gave my life to the Lord. Although I was raised Catholic, I didn’t truly know Him until that time. When I converted, my parents were furious. Our conflict culminated in my parents throwing me out of my house two years later. Because of this, I lived with a family who attended my church for two years until I married my husband.  

If anyone understands how difficult it is to forgive parents for the pain they have caused, it’s me. Although this occurred over twenty years ago, the issues of rejection and abandonment took me many years to fully resolve. But through the merciful power of God and the power of church community, I was able to process my past and enjoy the profitable future God had in store for me.

I don’t know the types of wounds your parents have inflicted on you, but God commands that we forgive as we have been forgiven. No matter what you have been through, God does not want you to remain stuck in your pain but rather live in freedom. Here are some steps to take if you don’t know to get started: 

1. Bring your pain to the surface.

Recall the moments when you felt like your relationship with your parents became strained. What were the circumstances and situations revolving around that event? What did your parents say (or do)? What did you say (or do)? What were your feelings in that moment? Do you think your parents could have been operating out of their own unresolved pain, or was there a grain of truth to what they were saying or doing?