Husbands need encouragement, too. Here are 5 simple things you can do today for your husband to let him know how much you care.
Staying in Love
Falling in love is sensational, magical and sweet. But staying in love and cultivating a strong marriage — that’s something that takes work. As husbands and wives, we can’t just go through the motions of daily life and expect our relationships to grow deeper. We have to show up, roll up our sleeves, put our spouses first and actively demonstrate our love.
Dear sisters, if we are to be imitators of Christ and godly wives, we have to move from having an “I’ mindset to having a “we” mindset. In the heat of the moment, when life is busy, stressful or frustrating, we have to commit to choosing selflessness over selfishness and loving our man with everything we’ve got.
So, if you’re wondering how you can start loving and encouraging your husband better, here are eight ways to get started (eight ways that are husband approved, I should add!):
1. Write a Note
Whenever my husband leaves to go on a business trip, I always leave him a note in the morning letting him know that I will miss him and that I hope he has safe travels. Notes are a tangible way to show love and, in the digital world we live in, they are so rare and valuable. Surprise your man by leaving a note on the mirror, refrigerator, or in his lunch box or car. A note is worth 1,000 hugs.
2. Say thank you
I know, this one sounds so simple, but if you honestly stop and think about it, how often do you thank your husband? If you’re like me, probably not as often as you should. Thanking him for the big and little things — taking out the trash, cleaning the dog, helping fold laundry, surprising you with a gift — shows him that he is appreciated.
3. Tell Him Why You Love Him, and Remind Him Often
When we first fall in love, we make a point to tell someone why we love them, and we don’t let them forget about it, either. But after “I do,” some of us stop reminding our spouse that we’re still madly in love with them.
Wherever you are, I want you to take out a piece of paper right now and write down the first 10 things that come to mind when you think about why you love your husband. Maybe it’s his smile, or the way he takes care of you. Maybe it’s his work ethic, or his tender heart. Whatever those reasons are, make a point to remind him of those reasons a couple of times a week.
4. Be Genuinely Interested in What He Has to Say
It’s been said that men are like waffles, while the female brain is like a big pile of spaghetti. Though I understand this might not describe every one of us, I know it certainly can describe me. Do you ever find yourself zoning out while your husband is talking? This can be a super discouraging for our men!
At the end of the day, our thoughts and agendas are not the most important things to be thinking about. Instead, we need to make it a point to listen to our husband and show genuine interest in his passions and endeavors. Ask him what he thinks about things. Ask him what he wants to work toward. This kind of attentiveness helps build up his confidence and leads to deeper conversation, which ultimately brings a couple closer.
5. Tell Him What You Need
No one’s a mind reader. Not your mom, not your friend and especially not your husband. We show love (and grace) to our husbands when we help him understand our wants, needs, desires, etc.
6. Don’t Try and Force Him to be Someone He’s Not. Love Him for Who God Made Him to Be.
This has been a huge one for my husband and I. There was a point when we were dating that I tried to force him to be this person who worked out at the gym five days a week. I’ll spare you the details of those uncomfortable months, but the gist of it is this: I love my husband best when I encourage him, not when I try to turn him into someone that he’s not.
We can pray for our husbands to change. We can encourage them to embrace new ways of living and thinking. But we change the essence of who they are. That’s God’s business.
7. Create Reasons to Laugh and Smile
I believe one of the best medicines for a joy-filled marriage is laughter. A healthy couple is a couple that can be silly, laugh and poke fun at each other. You don’t have to be a comedian. You can reminisce about a time when something hilarious happened, or try making fun of yourself. Just be you and make a point to celebrate the quirkiness of your marriage. It’s what makes the two of you unique.
8. Surprise Him with a Date Night
One of my favorite things to do for my husband is plan a date night. It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, but I aim to surprise him with something every other week. There’s something about getting all glammed up, going out, talking about life and being adults together. It takes me back to the time we first fell in love and it reminds me that dating shouldn’t stop after the wedding ceremony.
Lauren Gaskill is an author, speaker and host of the Finding Joy podcast. She writes at LaurenGaskillinspires.com and is in the process of publishing her first non-fiction inspirational book. When she’s not writing, Lauren loves to cook, bake and go on hikes with her husband and Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, who is affectionately named Reese after Lauren’s favorite candy — peanut butter cups.
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