Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit Christian ministry that seeks to lead women into a personal relationship with Christ. With Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide, Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women right in the middle of their busy day through free daily devotions, radio program, speaking events, conferences, monthly magazine, resources, online communities, and Gather and Grow groups. We are real women offering real-life solutions to women who are striving to maintain life’s balance, in spite of today’s hectic pace and cultural pull away from godly principles. Wherever a woman may be on her spiritual journey, Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to be a trusted friend who takes her by the hand and walks by her side, leading her one step closer to the heart of God.
November 10, 2009
The Battles Within
"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" James 4:1 (NIV)
Our verse for today gets to the root of why my husband and I get in arguments: the desires that battle within me. Desires I wish weren't there. Desires that are ugly and selfish and petty. Desires that motivate me to seek my own way. Desires that battle within me, then spill over into my actions.
There is a battle raging within each of us. It is a battle between flesh and Spirit, between reaching out and focusing inward, between living for Christ and living for ourselves. How can we find victory in these battles without claiming more casualties? I have found there are several ways:
Praying: James 4:2 goes on to say, "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God." James is telling us how to avoid fights. Take our unmet needs, desires, expectations and complaints to God. We don't need to expect our husbands, children, neighbors, co-workers or friends to fulfill our every need.
Walking in truth: It's easy to believe the lies of the enemy or our flesh: If you were only married to someone else, you'd have a better life. If he would clean up after himself, you wouldn't have so much work to do. No one around here appreciates you. The lies escalate the battles. We spiral quickly into feelings of self-pity and anger. Instead we can learn to recognize those lies and refocus on Truth—God's Truth. We can go to His Word and read what He has to say about the people we love and the position we are in. Psalm 26:2-3 says, "Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind, for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth."
Taking each thought captive: 2 Corinthians 10:5b tells us that we are to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." There are two action verbs in this statement: take and make. These are strong words that indicate effort. It's not something we can sit back and hope will happen. It's something we have to be intentional and insistent about. When our thoughts start wandering down those dangerous "if only" paths, we can instead find a fork in the road and change direction, remembering who Christ is and how He lived His life on earth—as a loving, humble servant.
Being silent: I have often regretted my speech. In the heat of battles, I've found it is almost always better to walk away and pray. If I feel I have been wronged then I need to ask my Father to defend me. If I feel that battle still waging inside me then I know it's time to ask Him to quiet my heart. Being silent is hard work! But I know that my silence is not as likely as my angry words to hurt the people I care about. Proverbs 17:28 says, "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."
When the battles rage within us, we can change the results and stop the arguments that ensue. It's up to us to pause and choose a different reaction. I hope these things will help us today as we rise to the challenge!
Dear Lord, please help me to remember to pray, to walk in truth, to take each thought captive and to be silent. Help me honor You when the battles rage inside me. I don't want to fight with the people I love and I need You to help me with that. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
The Reason We Speak General Editor Marybeth Whalen
Visit Marybeth's blog - Cheaper by the Half Dozen
In your journal, write down the four things you can do when you feel those battles raging inside you. Spend time praying and thinking about how you will do these things instead of being angry.
Think about the last argument you had. What battle was raging within you when it happened? What would have changed if you had done the things listed in today's devotion?
I Peter 2:11, "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." (NIV)
Galatians 5:16, "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." (NIV)
© 2009 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105