Wendy van Eyck is married to Xylon, who talks non-stop about cycling, and makes her laugh. She writes for anyone who has ever held a loved one’s hand through illness, ever believed in God despite hard circumstances or ever left on a spontaneous 2-week holiday through a foreign land with just a backpack. You can follow Wendy’s story and subscribe to receive her free ebook, “Life, life and more life” at ilovedevotionals.com. She would also love to connect with you on Facebook and Twitter.
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. Isaiah 40:27-28 (MSG)
I have been troubled this last week. I really thought, after the stem cell transplant, all this cancer stuff would be behind us.
Discovering my husband still has active spots of cancer hurts.
It hurts on so many levels. There is an ache because he has to go through more treatment. It stings because I wanted God to have healed him.
And it hurts because in some ways it feels like God doesn’t care.
I’ve realised in the last week that at some point in my life I have come to equate God caring with doing what I want.
If it was a sum it would look like this:
My want + My outcome = God Cares
I’ve never really been that good at Maths but I recognised this last week that something doesn’t add up with that sum.
I’m not really sure where I got that idea. It’s not something I’ve been taught but it’s something my heart has believed.
My heart has believed a lie. And my lie has made God small. (tweet this)
My fib tried to make God fit inside a small box drawn by my wants and outcomes.
Isaiah spoke truth to my heart this week.
Why would you ever complain, Wendy, or, whine, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.
After reading that I wondered how I could ever think that God could be contained inside the boundaries of my wants and outcomes?
How could I ever think that God should be limited to what I can see or imagine? (tweet this)
If there were a formula to knowing if God cares I think this verse would put it like this:
His consistency + His Presence = God Cares (tweet this)
That sum doesn’t make God small. It doesn’t try and limit God to what I think his care looks like. It gives God space to create and act in my life.
It is the kind of care that lasts.
It's the kind of care that goes beyond anything I can see or imagine.
Do I want a small God who does what I want? Or do I want a big God who cares enough about me to offer his consistent presence from the beginning of time to the end?
I know my answer.
Ponder: How would you answer this question: Do I want a small God who does what I want? Or do I want a big God who cares enough about me to offer his consistent presence from the beginning of time to the end? Why?
Prayer: Thank you for being a God whose care lasts. Amen.
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- This was orginally published on my site in November 2013 to read more devotionals like this go to ilovedevotionals.com