You’ve felt it. That numb, empty cavern of a feeling that no one cares, no one wants you, no one knows you, or no one sees you.
Invisibility is something that all of us can feel deep down to our bones. It doesn’t discriminate and it can find you in the sneakiest of moments and pull you down into its dark abyss. No matter your relationship status, age, or career choice, you may have experienced a day, or even a season, of what only you can describe as feeling invisible.
Knowing you’re not alone in this feeling will hopefully give you some comfort and help turn the ugly, dark cloak of invisibility into a loving, beautiful, fabric of personal validation. So, come along with me as we delve into 5 truths that will put a bright spotlight on your heart and mind and will, hopefully, lead you to the truth of your worth and how precious you are.
1. You are necessary.
Our world of is full of technology, tips, and tricks to get to the final product. Maybe this era of technological advancements are leaving you to feeling less than necessary to the function of your workplace. Or you could be a stay-at-home mother that has jumped into the whirlwind of kids, cleaning, and cooking and you wonder if what you do really makes a difference while others are seemingly being validated with a paycheck. To the working woman, you’re necessary to where God has you placed at this point in time. You’re in your job for a reason and while the next technological advancement may be amazing, that doesn’t take away from the integral impact you have in your company. To the stay-at-home mom, you have one of the most important jobs out there! You are raising up the next generation and while that may involve cleaning up things that are sticky or smelly or being a free taxi service, you are necessary to the lives of the children you are raising and who they come in contact with as adults. May we all acknowledge where God has each of us in this season of life and understand our grand impact (Esther 4:14)!
2. You are beautiful.
Tall, short, fat, thin, apple, pear, clear complexion, acne prone. Why are we so quick to label our natural beauty? Due to how marketing works in this day of potions and makeup, it seems that we have labeled ourselves right into these boxes in order to primp, clothe, and prime our bodies and faces the way others say is best. I’ll admit, I love makeup, shopping, and makeovers. It’s in my DNA. But I have to remind myself that I am beautiful with or without these “extras.” We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and the real beauty of our bodies is in the differences. If we all looked exactly the same we’d be finding potions and makeup to set us apart, so let’s learn to embrace our curves, beauty marks, and laugh lines and have fun with what God you! There is no shame in making the most of what you’ve got, just don’t let it turn into a drive for perfection. Learn the art of grace and appreciate your beautiful reflection!
3. You are wanted.
As a single woman in her mid-thirties, this is one of the toughest aches to live with when there is no man in sight pursuing a romantic relationship with me. Many of us singles desire marriage and all the “extras” that come along with that. Knowing that Jesus loves me unconditionally is everything. No man’s affection can top that. But, if I’m really honest, being wanted by the man God has for me is a healthy God-given desire that I have on a day-to-day basis. Funneling my femininity and desire for a mate into my care for myself (ex: physical fitness, learning more about my strengths, and growing my talents) helps to ease the ache and continue the wait with a gentle heart. What also helps me is thinking of the desire my future husband will have for me, in God’s timing (Song of Songs 3:5). In preparation, I want take care of myself and be ready for him when the timing is right. I pray he is doing the same right now too.
4. You are being heard.
Feel like you’re just talking to yourself? We’ve all been there. I dare to say that those of you with children, especially teenagers, can definitely relate here. Well, we may not be able to help children, husbands, or co-workers “hear” what we are saying, but believe me that God hears you. Prayers can feel unanswered, and thoughts can loop over and over in our minds, but remember that God hears you and loves you even when life hurts and we feel like our voice has been muted (1 John 5:14). God communicates with me a lot of the time with little God-winks that are specific to what I’ve been praying about. These reminders let me know that He hears me, knows what I need, and loves me enough to give and take away at just the right time.
5. You are noticed.
In the world of social media posts, likes, stories, and snaps, it’s clear to say that we have a desire to be noticed. I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy getting feedback from my friends and family on social media. We must remember that God sees us and He notices what we are going through, I mean, He even knows the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30)! Something important to remember that helps me get out of my own slump of not feeling noticed is to notice someone else. Having coffee with a friend that’s in a rough season of life, smiling at the person next to you in the checkout line, or even just asking your co-worker how their weekend went can all be ways to notice others well. When we give away attention and encouragement, we’ll start to see how that positivity comes right back to us. Maybe not from the same person we reached out to, but by someone else, or better yet, by our Savior. In the end, you may not be noticed by the world, but you’ll know that giving your time and attention to those around you will bring joy to their heart and yours, and that’s better than any like or retweet out there.
Mandy Smith is a joyful 30-something single living in GA. She is a full-time Speech-Language Pathologist. Her loves include Jesus, her family and friends, creativity, playing guitar and singing, coffee, laughing, and of course, writing! You can read more of her writing on her website www.myjoyousheart.com and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Originally published Thursday, 14 September 2017.