“I have every right to be angry.” Sadly, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve felt this way recently. Especially when it comes to my family, it’s easy to take on a mama-bear mentality and feel justified in my anger. Yet, I know all too well how the enemy works, and unjustified anger is one of his strategies.
So, how are we to discern whether anger is justified or not? Is it based on the intensity of our emotions or on the injustices we perceive to be true? Or is it solely based on the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus? As we acknowledge anger as part of our inherent nature, here are four things to remember when we feel justified.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/master1305
Justified anger will never lead us to sin. Righteous anger maintains integrity, whether it be a toxic thought, a hateful word, or a regrettable action. And if we’re honest with ourselves, most anger does not fit within this category.
For most of my adult life, anger has been a persistent issue. I’ve been convicted of it, repented of it, and worked hard to diffuse it. I’ve even researched how the brain manages this powerful emotion. In my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues with the Covering of Christ, I share, “Studies have shown that some people actually see the color red when they are angry. Medical Science can detect changes in the brain, like increased adrenaline. The frontal lobe contains our reasoning center, and when the emotion of anger is triggered, the amygdala (uh-mig-duh-luh) begins working overtime! Blood rushes to the frontal lobe in an attempt to calm things down. That is one good reason for counting to ten before we react. It gives our brains time to defuse our anger."
Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.” (ESV) This verse is important because it outlines anger as a legitimate human experience while warning us of its lure.
The Bible encourages us to deal with anger quickly so as not to give the enemy a foothold. This includes replacing lies with truth, avoiding toxic conversations, refusing to engage with irrational people, and reacting from a place of calmness and control.
A Prayer to Take With You: Lord, please keep me from sinful anger, and give no opportunity to the enemy. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/dragana991
Think of the last time you were angry but forced yourself to remain silent. How difficult was it to hold your tongue?
James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. This tells us there is a difference between fleshly anger and Godly anger. And one marker of the flesh is the inability to hold our tongue.
As a young mom, I regularly yelled at my kids. One day, I overheard my three-year-old saying, “My mom is mean and mad.” It was a wake-up call that sinful anger had a hold on me, and it broke my heart. As I determined to change my ways, here are a few practical things that helped:
A Prayer to Take with You: Lord, please help me hold my tongue instead of lashing out in anger. Calm my emotions with the touch of Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ivan Pantic
What I love most about the Proverbs is the wisdom and insight provided for life’s issues. Here are a few passages that highlight the importance of self-controlled anger:
Proverbs 14:29 “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
Proverbs 16:32 “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (ESV)
Proverbs 2:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”
The key phrases that jump out to me are “great understanding, slow to anger, and calm in the end.” These descriptions are the exact opposite of uncontrolled anger, which often reacts without understanding and gives full vent to rage.
The good thing is that self-control isn’t something we must produce alone. We have God’s Spirit within us to cultivate and produce it in abundance. By yielding to Him, anger is brought under control and kept in context.
When uncontrolled anger threatens to overcome you, here are a few quick prayers to pray:
Heavenly Father, please take control of this raging fire in me.
Lord Jesus, please give me Your peace - the peace that passes all understanding.
Holy Spirit, please breathe an abundance of self-control into me. I yield to You now.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/LaylaBird
The narrative in the world today is that when Jesus walked the earth, He was only loving, kind, and gentle. However, Matthew 21:12-13 says, “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the money changers' tables and the benches of those selling doves. ‘It is written,’ he said to them, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”
Of all the examples of justified anger, this one clearly defines it as upholding God’s righteousness through immediate action and truth.
In everyday life, we aren’t usually called to physically overturn tables, but we are called to uphold God's righteousness. This means recognizing things that defile God’s holy standard, taking serious action when appropriate, and speaking God’s truth even when it’s unpopular.
Anger does have a place in our lives. It can spur us to action when others are being hurt. It can lead us to be involved in noble endeavors. And it can strengthen our resolve against the flaming arrows of the evil one. But great discernment is needed when we feel justified in our anger, and only through God’s word are we given the wisdom and insight to discern.
More Resources for Your Journey:
10 Things the Bible Tells Us about Anger
How Can You Express Anger in a Godly Way?
Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues with the Covering of Christ
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Anastasiia Stiahailo