One of my dearest friends and I have known each other for more than twenty years. Years ago, we both lived in the same apartment complex and often shared meals to save money. We had very little to call our own. As young single moms, we had furnished our government-issued apartments with previously-owned, heavily-used, furniture, bedding, and dishes. Often, we were the thankful recipients of other’s throwaways. We stretched every dollar, farther than imaginable. We worked long hours and often had more debt than dollars. We clipped coupons, worked multiple jobs, held garage sales, etc. – whatever was necessary to ensure we provided for our young families. There is something about my friend that struck me years ago, and it is still true today. She is the most grateful woman I have ever met. Whatever was given, she oozed gratitude. Sadly, I cannot say that I exhibit that same sense of gratitude every day.
I have become increasingly aware of the lack of gratitude that many of us suffer with. There is a seemingly growing trend among us that we have a sense of expectation that something is somehow owed to us for our very existence. But this condition isn’t new. Just read Exodus 16:1-8. We begin to see the unfolding of the Israelites complaining while on their journey in the wilderness, and the interesting part of this particular passage is that it had only been 30 days since God had delivered them out of Egypt!
1. The only thing owed to us is death.
We are owed eternal separation from God, according to Romans 6:23. But God, in His amazing grace, chose to send us a Savior. God paid the price for grace we never deserved. When we understand that the very gift of eternal life that we have was just that – a gift, then it is much easier for us to avoid complaining about the circumstances of today. Even if you are living through the worst of scenarios right now with your health, marriage, finances, or children, our lives our temporary. Our eternity will look much different, when we know the Lord as our Savior.
2. Restoring our sense of awe will lessen our complaining.
As a child, can you remember possessing a sense of wonder about the world? Do you remember looking to the sky in awe of how big and blue and impressive it was? Do you remember saying childhood prayers where you thanked God for the flowers, the trees, and the very air you breathed? We were thankful for moms and dads and sisters and brothers, a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. What age does that shift? When do we stop being thankful for the little things and the big ones that God has provided? When do we determine that only the ones we deem big are worth thanking God for? In fact, what gives us the right to even categorize any of God’s blessings on our lives as small?
3. The pursuit of more will never fulfill us.
Many of us think that what we have is never enough. We always want more. If we’re hungry and the food bank is passing out bread, we want two loaves instead of just one. If the church is giving away free coffee after Sunday service, we’re irritated that it isn’t Starbucks and not just a simple off-brand. If we’re single, we want to be married. If we’re married, we want a better spouse. We want to be thinner, prettier, and richer. We want a good job, then a better one. Then, that job is no longer the best job, so we search for the next job. And we’re raising children who are just as bad. They often aren’t grateful for the new toy, they want the best toy. They aren’t sensitive to financial boundaries, because culture (that’s us) permeates the greed of more, more, more. And the pursuit of that façade will never make us happy or fulfilled or thankful. The pursuit of Christ is the only true fulfillment we will ever know.
4. God’s provision is always enough.
Look at Exodus 16:17-18. “So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.”
My provision doesn’t look like your provision. What I need in my life is different from what you need in your life. Maybe you’re in a season where God wants to stretch your faith, so you don’t have much. It doesn’t mean it isn’t sufficient. He’s teaching you some things about faith. Sometimes, God hasn’t given us what we asked for, because we don’t need it, or maybe we haven’t been faithful with what He’s already done.
Sadly, many of us are grateful for God’s provision for about 30 seconds. Then, we move on to the next thing we want. God always has a plan. When the Red Sea was parted, it wasn’t this last-minute, impulsive move on God’s part. He always knew he had a way. He has a plan and purpose for you, as well. Take some time to journal what God is doing for you. Write it down and save it. Create a gratitude journal or a gratitude jar. Look back over the months and years of how faithful God has been.
God will always do more than we think. He will provide in ways that we can’t even think about asking Him for. He’ll do things that are substantial, miraculous, earth-shattering, and life-changing. He knows what He’s doing. Trust Him to do it and get grateful about it.
5. What you choose to focus on matters.
Exodus 16:9-10 says, “Then Moses said to Aaron, ‘Announce this to the entire community of Israel: Present yourselves before the Lord, for he has heard your complaining.’ And as Aaron spoke to the whole community of Israel, they looked out toward the wilderness. There they could see the awesome glory of the Lord in the cloud.” Just a couple of versus before they had been complaining about what they didn’t have. Their focus was not on the glory of the Lord, his provision, his grace, and the fact that he had just rescued them out of decades of bondage. But, when their focus shifted, all of a sudden they saw the glory of who God truly is. What would happen in your life if you chose to focus on the awesome glory of the Lord every day.
When we choose to shift your perspective, we can see God’s handiwork all around us. We may not have everything we are praying for right now, but there are others with greater needs, greater lack. God is a good God who provides.
6. Our obedience matters.
Read Exodus 16:19-20, “Then Moses told them, ‘Do not keep any of it until morning.’ But some of them didn’t listen, and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.” What is in our lives right now that was meant to be a blessing, but is now beginning to stink, because we haven’t obeyed God or taken care of the provision? Children are a beautiful blessing from God. But when we don’t’ follow the Lord’s instruction in raising them in the way they should go, they can cause us great tears, pain, and grief. Sex within marriage is a beautiful thing, but outside it, great pain is ultimately involved. A godly husband is a blessing from the Lord, but when we step outside of God’s will to find one, there will likely be many hardships and sleepless nights.
When God gives a command for our lives, it’s not a suggestion. It isn’t optional. We get into trouble when we choose not to obey, and our disobedience often creates a disgruntled, complaining attitude that pushes focus away from us and redirects it to others in our lives. We find ourselves complaining about our bosses, pastors, spouses, family members, friends, and others.
7. Complaining is a choice.
Contentment is a choice. Choose to be grateful. What do you have in your life? Do you have healthy children? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have access to transportation? Do you have a best friend? Do you have a loving church? A job? Education? Breath? Paul writes about this so famously in Phil. 4:11-13, and I’m paraphrasing, “ I have learned to be content with whatever I have, whether a little or a lot, empty stomach or full… and he finishes with, For I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.” In other words, God is going to give me the strength I need in the season I need it, so I’m going to choose to be thankful for where I am and what I’m doing right now.
8. Complaining impacts others.
If we aren’t grateful for the things we have in our lives, we will never be grateful for these things we are begging God for. That new hair color, promotion, ministry opportunity, car, job, house, friend, boyfriend --- none of those things will ever do. Because we are always choosing to focus on the next best thing. When we have this attitude, we impact others. We exhibit to our children that complaining is acceptable. Have you ever noticed how you may be having a perfectly fine day at work, but when a co-worker comes over to complain about the boss or another coworker, you leave the conversation feeling crummy? Our words have the power of life and death. Always ask yourself if the words you are speaking to your spouse, co-workers, or friends are impacting their live positively or negatively.
9. Complaining impacts your relationship with God.
In Exodus 16-6-7, there are multiple references to how the Israelites complaining was against God. In fact, Moses and Aaron said on several occasions, “You’re complaints aren’t against us. They are against God!” Consider this. What is the last thing you were complaining about? Your job? Boss? Church? Children? Dirty laundry? Chores? Difficult financial decision? Whatever it was, there is a blessing attached to it. Those dirty clothes are evidence of God’s provision in your life. The fact that you even have a boss means you have a job. The difficult financial decision likely represents at least some finances coming in. In other words, God’s provision is all around us, but when we complaining constantly, it distances us from intimacy with our Lord.
10. Complaining changes nothing.
Recently, the air conditioning service went out in our building. We are in the South in more than 90 degree temperatures, right now. The process for repair took much longer than expected and we wound up having to endure the heat for two weeks. My complaining every morning about the problem didn’t solve it. Id didn’t change anything, and it likely made other staff members uncomfortable, ill-focused, and more disgruntled. Friends, we need to shift our perspectives today. We need to be focused on gratitude. What are the things in your life that you can choose to be thankful for instead of complain about?
The truth is: We have all that we need for today. You may be in a place in life, where you don’t where the rent is coming from yet, but you have all that you need today. You may not know where the next meal is coming from tomorrow, but you have all that you need today. You are blessed and highly favored, and there are others who would love to be where you are in your life, in your season. Let go of complaining today.
Jennifer Maggio is CEO/Founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is passionate about encouraging women and single parents. She is a mother to three and wife of Jeff. She is author to four books and speaker. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com.
Originally published Monday, 09 October 2017.
