The words filling the air were kind and encouraging as women trickled into the room for our life group meeting. There were stories from the day, updates on kids and grandkids, and complaints about too much to do and not enough time. When I asked for prayer requests, many ladies easily began sharing the needs of family members, friends, and co-workers. Then I gently asked, “What about you? How can we pray for you?” and the lively room quickly turned deathly quiet. I’ve seen this happen before, and I understand what’s behind this reaction. Many of us have learned - sometimes painfully - that opening up about personal struggles can lead to judgment, gossip, or even rejection, especially in religious settings built on performance instead of grace.
As I gave each woman a few minutes to reflect on her own prayer requests, I shared the story of my granddaughter needing to travel to another state for medical treatment and how I created a fundraising campaign to help with travel expenses, housing, food costs, and mounting medical bills. Was it vulnerable? Yes. Did I wonder what others might think? Absolutely. By being vulnerable with a small, safe group of women, I invited them into my story. And I also opened the door to prayer support, resources, and opportunities that may not have been available previously.
Here’s what’s true. We are not designed to live hidden, isolated, or self-sufficient lives. God created us for connection - with Him and with each other. In fact, you don’t have to look far to find evidence of this truth in the field of neuroscience, which shows our brains are shaped by and thrive on connection. Psychology also reveals our emotional and psychological well-being depend on connection.
With that in mind, let’s explore what the Bible says about God’s design for relationships, what makes us avoid being vulnerable, what’s needed to connect with others, and the life-giving benefits of walking through both joy and hardship in community.
From the very beginning, God’s Word tells us we are made in the image of a relational God. In Genesis 1:26–27, God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness.” The “Us” in that verse is extremely important. It shows that we were created from relationship (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) for relationship. God is, by nature, relational. Since we are made in His image, so are we. Sit with that for a little while and don’t rush past this great insight.
Genesis 2:18 drives this point home: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Even in the Garden of Eden where he walked with God, Adam’s aloneness was “not good.” This isn’t just about marriage. It’s about how we are wired for human connection. We are created with a need for relationship, for companionship, and for sharing life together.
The Bible is full of “one another” commands. As children of God, we are to love one another, encourage one another, bear one another’s burdens, and pray for one another. These commands show us how to live out the Christian life.
God’s design for relationships is further reflected in the New Testament. When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus replied in Matthew 22:37-39, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ … And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” We are designed to express Christ’s life and love in us through our relationships with other people.
Despite this clear biblical calling to connect, many of us still hesitate to intentionally find safe people to “do life” with and share our own needs. We fear judgment and may even show up wearing an invisible mask, smiling on the outside while silently suffering inside.
Another very real obstacle to connecting with others is the reality that not all relationships with other humans are safe or life-giving. If you’ve ever been hurt by someone you trusted, you know how hard it can be to trust again. Remember that you don’t need to share everything all at once and that trust is earned over time. Trust grows where there is a space for the other person to share as well. There’s a beautiful balance of giving and receiving. Vulnerability can only exist with people and in places where we feel safe.
Being vulnerable is a place we don’t like to find ourselves if we’re being honest. It seems weak and helpless and exposed. We don’t want to burden others or we’re afraid they may not understand what we’re going through. God designed us to need Him and others. It’s not because we are weak, but because we’re human. Depending on your personality type, opening up to others may be harder for you than some. That’s okay. When you share the ups and downs of life with those you trust, it becomes an opportunity for personal growth.
In order to share our stories, our joys, our struggles, and our spiritual journeys, we need a few key things. First of all, we need to find safe people who listen without judgment, share their own struggles, and keep what’s shared confidential.
Connecting with others takes time and intentionality. We also need margin in our schedules to be available for others and to let others into our world. This may look like a weekly coffee date, a small life group or Bible study, a consistently scheduled Zoom call, or even a regular meet-up to walk together at a local park.
Genuine connection flows from Christ’s life in us and is expressed through love, patience, and kindness. It notices when someone is weary and steps in with care. This isn’t about fixing one another. It’s about showing up and loving well.
We were created for connection with our Heavenly Father and with other people to celebrate the mountaintop moments as well as walk through the dark valleys. When someone texts you to say, “You’re not alone,” or celebrates your wins with no jealousy or competition, this is where your deepest need for connection is met by others.
Walking together through life is a beautiful way to sharpen, challenge, and remind each other that God is good in the joy and in the sorrow. Having someone to call, text or sit with makes a big difference. These life-giving moments help us experience God’s love in tangible ways. Connecting with others gives us a community of prayer warriors and encouragers who believe in us and remind us of who we are in Christ. They also hold us accountable to pursue our God-given callings.
Let’s build those life-giving connections and invite others into the real parts of our lives, not just the picture-perfect moments. This may look like a conscious decision to build connections with other adults, being intentional to authentically engage with others, and share what’s going on in our lives and families. Walking together through laughter and tears, in the hard and in the good, is what it looks like to live out our God-given design for connection.
Faith often becomes a checklist—prayer, scripture study, ministry—rather than a living, breathing relationship with Jesus. In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan Fadling speaks with bestselling author and teacher John Eldredge about shifting from a performance-based spiritual life to one rooted in presence, intimacy, and encounter.
We talk about how to slow down in a world that values hustle, how to rediscover wonder in the midst of cynicism, and how to create personal rhythms that foster authentic connection with Jesus. If you long to experience Jesus—really—this conversation is for you. f this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/katleho Seisa
Renee Bethel, author of Finding Me: A Woman’s Guide to Learning More About Herself, is a Professional Christian Life Coach and a Certified Enneagram Coach. Her passion is guiding growth-minded Christian women to step into their God-given identity so they can live more authentically and confidently in the freedom of who they are in Christ. If you're ready to change how you view yourself and learn how God sees you, request her resource, Who am I - from God’s Perspective?