What’s the #1 Thing You Can Do to Build a Healthy, Lasting Marriage? There are many things pieces of advice I can write to help you build a healthy, lasting marriage:
- Keeping God first
- Keeping love in the marriage
- Keeping Christ in the center of the marriage
- Showing respect to your spouse
- Honoring your spouse
- Praying for your spouse
- Listening to your spouse
And while I think all those things are essential, there’s something else that helped my husband and me over our 16-year marriage.
Soon after marrying my husband, I started focusing on his imperfections and shortcomings. The more I focused on the negative, the more miserable I became. My husband was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. He’s an extrovert who isn’t afraid to speak his mind. He's a straightforward guy who says what's on his mind, and some of those things rubbed me the wrong way. My husband is a go-getter, a take charge kind of guy, and that used to irritate me as well. I wished he would change. I wished he’d stop speaking his mind so much, that he was subtler, more relaxed, more laid back...more like me.
You see, I’m a country girl from a small Maryland town. I’m an introvert who doesn’t often say what’s on her mind. And while my husband is a spontaneous go-getter, I’m the procrastinating overthinker. We're like night and day.
I started wishing that my husband had a different personality, one that I could mold into what I wanted. When my husband and I were on the brink of divorce, I was praying one day, and the Lord showed me my error: I needed to learn to accept and love my husband for who he was.
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