Halloween—another cultural tradition that divides Christians, but often, rather than discussing differences, convictions, personal experiences, and Scripture, we hurl blanket-statement assumptions, rarely rooted in anything but self-righteousness and an inherently selfish desire to dishonor God’s command that we “Strive for peace with everyone” (Hebrews 12:14).
I’ve been on both sides of the debate and have never shared my thoughts and convictions without error. As someone who has distanced herself from her legalistic fundamentalist upbringing, I’m rather surprised at how “strict” I am concerning my stance on Halloween. Nonetheless, I want to share my heart, my story, and my perspective as best as possible to honor God and encourage other mothers who have reservations about the holiday.
So, Mama, if you don’t love Halloween or celebrate it with your children, you’re not failing them. I hope that here, I can spur your heart on, offer my convictions, and remind you of why honoring God’s calling on your heart is always praiseworthy:
As much as I would love to dress my little guy in an adorable costume and let him bring home a haul of candy, conviction restrains me. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the sweet simplicity of the idea, and the memories I wonder if I’m missing out on, don’t reverberate in my mind when each October rolls around. It’s partially because this is new territory for me, stepping away from all things Halloween, as I was raised in a (Christian) home where it was all the rage. Decorations, costumes, parties—we went all out.
But once I had my son, I looked at that wrinkly little piece of heaven and knew he would change how I saw everything, including things about my faith and family traditions that I thought I had all figured out. Thus, it was my turn to pray about and discuss with my husband how our little family would respond to the Halloween holiday.
My husband and I lived in Colorado for a year, where we were exposed to pagan religions I had never known existed. It always unsettled me. Once I became a mom and dug deep into the origins and modern practices pagan cults participate in on Halloween nights, I couldn’t stomach the thought of my child being out on a night so predisposed to evil.
Of course, many families participate in innocent fun, and I recognize that other believers might have different convictions. I’m certainly not speaking from a place of self-righteousness, but caution steeped in a knowledge of things I desperately wish weren’t real. That said, once I learned that many of these cults, rooted in satanism, specifically pray evil prayers over children trick-or-treating, I knew I couldn’t go back.
Halloween could no longer be about “nice” ghosts and “kids just dressing up and getting candy.” I could no longer shake off the disgusting, sinister origins of the jackolantern. Even the innocent pieces of the holiday’s festivities now seemed like dipping one’s toes in dangerous waters, cracking the door for the enemy to sneak in. I knew it was time to dig my heels deep and set boundaries, in love, where our family didn’t participate in Halloween.
This means that we don’t attend downtown trick-or-treat events, buy costumes, decorate with anything “spooky,” watch films or purchase books with Halloween themes, or, strangely enough, participate in church trunk-or-treat events.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t confess that this makes for some awkward conversations, especially among family, and might be labeled “lame” or “unfair” when my children are a little older. Still, I’ve learned there’s nothing relatively as peaceful (and even brave) as setting and honoring firm boundaries that protect your home's little hearts and souls.
No doubt, your story isn’t identical to mine. The human experience is unique to each of us. But perhaps parts of my story intersect with yours, whether my fears, concerns, or uncomfortable conversations with family or friends. If so, I want you to know you aren’t alone if your story carries a little grief, if you see families in their matching costumes or children giggling, running up Main Street, and don’t feel a twinge of sadness. I think this little tug every Halloween, and because I do, I understand that you can despise sin that forces rigid boundaries but still wrestle with upholding those boundaries.
Perhaps you’re in the season of not being the “fun mom,” and your tweens and teens push back each year when you say no to Halloween parties and haunted houses. I’m so sorry—doing the right thing doesn’t mean your heart isn’t left trampled. But I want to cheer you on and honor the God-fearing mother you are by holding firm to the convictions the Holy Spirit has placed on your heart. Remember, sweet mama, this is just one night. It’s just one season.
Meanwhile, you should never neglect opportunities like these to sit down with your children and explain why your family abstains from partaking in Halloween. This allows you to share God’s truth with your children and showcase what placing Him above all things means.
If you believe your family should still do something fun, allow your children to create an alternative to Halloween. Plenty of fall festivals and pumpkin patches don’t participate in spooky decorating, trick-or-treating, or any Halloween traditions. Or, consider celebrating All Saints Day on November 1st. May families dress up as their favorite Bible characters and host parties. You would be surprised by the plethora of decorations, food ideas, and games and activities available for this holiday, especially on Pinterest.
You can cultivate fun and joy in the season of harvest, which is plentiful and chock-full of memories, without participating in Halloween.
When cultural ideas like Halloween aren’t strictly mentioned in Scripture, it leaves gray areas for believers to wade through. I have realized that different Christians will have different convictions in these gray areas. Thus, I don’t share my story or heart to force you into a particular belief. Instead, I implore you as believing mamas to search Scripture, research the history and meaning of things, and have uncomfortable conversations with God to determine what is best for your family. In all things, your aim should be for your family to honor what is true. As Philippians 4:8 implores, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (NIV).
I pray your story as a mother is one of consistent wisdom and growth, as you wrestle with approaching Halloween, Santa Claus, and any other secular aspects of holiday celebrations for your children. I pray you make room for God’s unending joy in your home as you celebrate the changing seasons and holidays, watching your babies grow and change over the years. Above all, I pray that you rest in God’s peace as you honor Him.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 (ESV)
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