How My Upbringing Shaped My Parenting

Emmanuel Abimbola

Emmanuel Abimbola

Contributing Writer
Updated May 06, 2024
How My Upbringing Shaped My Parenting

 In a world filled with ever-changing trends and cultural norms, the timeless principles of faith offer a steadfast foundation upon which to build our families.

Parenting is one of life's most profound journeys, a responsibility that extends far beyond the immediate care of our children. It's a journey where our upbringing often serves as the compass, guiding us through the joys and challenges of raising the next generation. 

In my own experience, I've come to realize how much my upbringing has shaped my approach to parenting. But what exactly is the role of upbringing in shaping parenting, and how does faith play a pivotal role in this journey?

The importance of upbringing in shaping parenting cannot be overstated. Our childhood experiences, the values instilled in us by our parents, and the environments in which we were raised all leave indelible imprints on our parenting style. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we draw upon these influences as we navigate the complexities of raising our children.

At the heart of this journey lies faith and godliness. For Christian parents like myself, faith isn't just a personal belief system; it's the cornerstone of our parenting philosophy. 

It informs how we nurture, discipline, and guide our children, profoundly shaping their character and worldview. In a world filled with ever-changing trends and cultural norms, the timeless principles of faith offer a steadfast foundation upon which to build our families.

My Christian Upbringing

My dad was a man who, I think, was an almost spiritual extremist. I mean that in a good way, though. He was the one I spent most of my childhood and teenage years with. 

He was less interested in the religious or ceremonial Christian practices; rather, he was more interested in the spiritual aspects. He was so spiritually conscious that he trained me to focus more on discovering and utilizing my spiritual gifts. This helped me quickly discover most of my spiritual gifts at an early age. 

I also learned the true meaning of the words in Ephesians 6:12: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." I discovered that I must always pray and meditate on Scripture so as not to become vulnerable to the devil's attacks because the moment I gave my life to Christ, I had a target on my back and a spiritual bounty on my head.

My dad reminded me that my ultimate purpose on earth was to declare God's glory in all aspects of my life and that this world isn't my home. Even though I'm in it, I'm not of it. And I must never let myself be sucked into the vanities and falsehoods of this world.

My dad taught me to never seek spiritual perfection but rather to do my best to live according to the commands of the Lord and let his words and grace guide me in all my ways. He taught me to seek the truth and only the truth in the Scripture and let the Holy Spirit interpret the Scripture and life's reality. I was raised to understand that the only thing I owe myself and everyone around me is unconditional love, just as Christ loved the world.

He always told me this life is a battlefield, and as a believer, I am constantly at war with the darkness in the world. I understood the dangers of keeping bad company or living a lifestyle that isn't in line with the teachings of Christ.

I could go on and on, but these are just a few important legacies my father instilled in me. When I take a close look at my life growing up, I realize that I was raised on a solid foundation, and the values I learned were instrumental in making me who I am today.

Today, that legacy lives on because it is the same legacy I'm passing on to my child as a parent. 

Passing on the Christly Legacy

I’m sure, growing up, many of us were fortunate enough to be raised with Christian values and principles that served as the bedrock of our identity. 

These values were not merely taught but ingrained in us through the fabric of our daily lives, shaping our character and guiding our decisions. Now, as parents ourselves, we have the sacred responsibility of passing on this Christly legacy to the next generation.

In a world that often seems to prioritize material success and self-gratification over spiritual growth, instilling a Christ-centered worldview in our children becomes more crucial than ever. 

By passing on the truths found in the Bible, we equip our children with a moral compass to navigate life's challenges and triumphs.

However, this task is not without its challenges. Raising children in a Christ-centered manner requires intentional effort and unwavering commitment. 

We must be willing to lead by example, demonstrating the love, compassion, and forgiveness that Christ embodies. This means prioritizing regular prayer, Bible study, and fellowship as a family, even amid life's busyness and distractions.

My Encouragement to Fellow Christian Parents

As Christian parents, we must be lights in a world that often finds itself enveloped in darkness. Our role goes beyond simply providing for our children's physical needs; we are entrusted with the sacred task of nurturing their souls and guiding them along the path of righteousness.

The Bible provides clear guidance on the importance of raising children in a Christ-centered manner. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This verse emphasizes the significance of early instruction in shaping a child's worldview and character. 

Similarly, Ephesians 6:4 admonishes parents to "bring [their children] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," highlighting the responsibility to instill Godly values and principles in our children's lives.

In a world that often promotes self-indulgence and instant gratification, Philippians 4:8 offers a directive: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." This verse shows the importance of fostering a positive and Christ-centered mindset in both our own lives and the lives of our children.

How We Can Instill Christly Values in Our Children

1. Lead by example: Children learn by observing the behavior of their parents. Therefore, we must model Christlike virtues such as love, humility, and forgiveness in our everyday lives.

2. Prioritize Family Worship: Set aside time daily for family prayer, Bible study, and worship. Make these activities interactive and engaging, tailoring them to the age and interests of your children.

3. Create a Godly Environment: Surround your home with reminders of God's presence, such as Scripture verses, Christian artwork, and uplifting music. Cultivate an atmosphere of reverence and joy that nurtures spiritual growth.

4. Help Your Children Discover Their Talents: It is crucial to nurture our children's spiritual gifts and talents from a young age. Just as the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30 teaches us, God has entrusted each of us with unique abilities to be used for His glory.

Encourage your children to explore their interests and passions, and guide them in discovering how they can use their gifts to serve others and honor God (Proverbs 16:3).

5. Teach Your Children the Importance of Staying Rooted in Faith: It is essential to instill in our children a firm foundation of faith and righteousness. Proverbs 11:3 declares, "The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them." 

Teach your children the importance of standing firm in their convictions and upholding a life of righteousness, even in the face of opposition or adversity. Help them understand that their faith in God is their greatest strength and source of courage.

6. Teach Them the Meaning of Love: We are commanded to love one another as Christ has loved us (John 13:34). As parents, we must model this sacrificial love for our children and teach them to emulate Christ's example in their interactions with others. 

Encourage your children to show kindness, compassion, and forgiveness to everyone they encounter, regardless of differences or disagreements. 1 Corinthians 16:14 reminds us to "Let all your things be done with charity [love]," emphasizing the centrality of love in our Christian walk.

7. Teach Them the True Value of the Bible: The Word of God is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105). As parents, it is our responsibility to impart to our children the significance of the Bible in their lives. 

Help them understand that the Scriptures are not merely a collection of stories or moral teachings but the inspired Word of God, which provides guidance, wisdom, and direction for every aspect of life. Encourage your children to immerse themselves in the study of God's Word and to apply its principles to their daily lives. 

Proverbs 30:5 affirms, "Every word of God is pure; he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him," revealing the importance of remaining steadfast in the teachings of the Lord.

8. Teachable Moments: Seize opportunities throughout the day to impart spiritual lessons to your children. Whether it's during mealtime conversations, bedtime prayers, or everyday encounters, look for teachable moments to share God's truth in a relatable manner.

9. Encourage Prayer and Reflection: Teach your children the importance of prayer and encourage them to develop a personal relationship with God. Provide opportunities for them to express their thoughts, concerns, and praises to the Lord.

10. Be Patient and Consistent: Raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord requires patience and consistency. Understand that spiritual growth is a gradual process, and be faithful in your efforts to sow seeds of faith in your children's hearts.

By incorporating these practical tips into our parenting practices, we can create a nurturing environment where our children can thrive spiritually and grow into mature disciples of Christ.

Let us remain steadfast in our commitment to raising godly offspring, knowing that our labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

Emmanuel Abimbola headshotEmmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.