7 Ways to Lose Your Soul Rest

Soul rest can be a lot like those keys. This rest brings peace to our hearts and opens the door to a rich, satisfying life. But there are so many ways to lose it—especially in our culture of hurry. 

Here are a few ways we often lose our soul rest and how God helps us find it again.

You can lose your soul rest when you:

1. Schedule Every Moment of Every Day

We fill our calendars with work meetings, volunteer commitments, and activities for our kids. If we had more hours in the day, we would fill those up, too. But we lose our soul rest when we live a life of hurry, rushing from one activity to the next. 

You know, Jesus had a busy life, too. But during one particularly harried period, He said to His disciples, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while" (Mark 6:31 NIV). He knew His friends were running on empty and needed time to rest their bodies and renew their souls.

Jesus also invites us to times of rest. We need margin in our lives to care for our bodies and refresh our depleted and empty hearts.

2. Spend Hours on Social Media Comparing Yourself to Others

You might not check into Instagram with the intent to weigh your life against the posts you see there, but you know that’s what often happens. An acquaintance posts a picture of herself with a new hairstyle—suddenly, you feel frumpy. Another friend announces her fabulous new job—instantly, jealousy sneaks up and sits down beside you.

Comparison is one of the enemies of soul rest. God’s Word tells us, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else” (Galatians 6:4 NLT). When we stop playing the comparison game, we can find joy in our own work, in our own lives, in our own relationships. To get out of that game, consider setting a limit on your social media time. Or, if the comparison monster shows up during your time on Facebook, shut down the app and spend a few moments thanking God for the good things in your life.

3. Act as Everything Depends on You

We all have a myriad of responsibilities at work, at home, and at church. Our children need us. Our aging parents depend on our help. Our business partners rely on our ability to get the job done.

So we work harder. We push ourselves through longer and longer hours. We may even feel that if we don’t keep up, our lives will fall apart. We give up rest to get more done.

But God doesn’t intend us to work on our own. The Bible tells us, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV). Yes, you may have a lot of responsibilities. A lot of people may depend on you. But you can depend on God. Lean on Him when your duties begin to weigh you down. He promises to give you everything you need to get the job done. Rest in Him.

4. Rehearse Your Mistakes

After a long day, you slide between the sheets and lay your head on the pillow. Sleep should come immediately. But then you remember that you forgot to respond to that time-sensitive email. No sense in getting up and doing it now—the deadline has passed. But recalling that mistake starts an avalanche of the ways you’ve messed up in the last week. You replay the snarky comment to your husband. The way you yelled at the kids. Soon you find yourself rehearsing all the ways you’ve let people down in the last week. Although your body wants to sleep, your mind won’t let you rest.

Thankfully, God gives us an answer to this problem. Instead of rehearsing our mistakes and sins, He invites us to confess those sins and mess-ups to Him and receive forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 gives us a wonderful promise, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (ESV). If we believe that Christ took the punishment for our sins, all we need to do to gain soul rest is to confess those sins to God. He will forgive. And once He forgives, He also forgets. In Isaiah 43:25, God says, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins” (ESV). God invites you to stop rehearsing your mistakes and, instead, rest in His grace.

5. Hold on Tightly to Every Grudge

I understand. Someone hurt you. Deeply. They abandoned you when you needed them. Or their words sliced open your heart. You try not to think about it, but your mind revisits the incident again and again. It reenacts the action over and over.

However, nothing is more exhausting than holding onto a hurt with a death grip. We may not even realize we’re doing it. But when we let go and forgive, we can experience immediate relief.

God’s Word tells us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 ESV). When our hearts feel too bruised to forgive, God helps us. We remember how He has erased all of our mistakes and then draw on the power of that grace to extend forgiveness to others. It probably won’t come easily, and the hurtful actions will probably pop up in our minds even after we’ve forgiven. But each time that happens, we can choose to release the pain and feel the rest of forgiveness.

6. Make Sure You Get Every Perk You Deserve

You worked hard. Put in long hours. But someone else got the promotion. Or someone else got the credit at the volunteer agency where you help out. Your efforts always seem to get overlooked.

We’ve all been there. We can complain to our friends that life isn’t fair. We can draw attention to all we’ve done. We can try to get every perk, every plaque, every promotion we deserve—and sometimes we should. But sometimes, that fight for attention will only destroy our soul rest.

Instead, we can take a cue from Jesus’ example. Although He deserved all the honor and glory, He willingly gave it all up to take on the guise of a servant. Philippians 2:5-7 says, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (ESV). Sometimes the best way to experience soul rest is to lay down our rights and expectations and live the life of a servant.

7. Eliminate Personal Time with God

You know you desperately need rest. But your to-do list is a mile long. Your schedule has zero empty time slots. And when you think of rest, you wistfully dream of a day at the beach or an hour on the massage table.

We don’t immediately equate time alone with God as a source of rest. But Psalm 62:5 says, “Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him” (CSB). True soul rest comes from God. We might search for it in other places like spas and vacation destinations, but rest is as close as a comfy chair and an open Bible. When we come to God with a thirsty heart, He promises to give us the sense of peace and wholeness we crave. When we are still and quiet our lives for a few moments, He comes in and calms our hearts. He invites us to empty out all our messy emotions and lay down our burdens of anxiety and doubt. He promises to fill our empty hearts and give us true soul rest.

My friend with the house key dilemma has now started a new habit that helps her keep track of her keys. When she finishes locking or unlocking her door, she places the key into a special pouch in her purse. She doesn’t always remember, but the frantic search for keys happens less often.

We can also start a new habit to maintain our soul rest. When our tranquility has gone missing, Jesus invites us to come again and again to sit in His presence and receive His peace and comfort. In our hurried and harried lives, we won’t always remember to do this. But when we do, Jesus welcomes us with open arms and promises to still our anxious hearts. 

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Tero Vesalainen

Sharla Fritz is a Christian author and speaker who weaves honest and humorous stories into life-changing Bible study. Author of the new book Measured by Grace: How God Defines Success, Sharla writes about God’s transforming grace and unfailing love. Sharla lives in the Chicago suburbs with her amusing pastor husband. Get her FREE ebook 21 Five-Minute Soul-Rest Practices or connect with Sharla at www.sharlafritz.com and Facebook.