When we don’t have balance, they don’t have balance. An overly busy life affects everyone in the family.
The back-to-school season is in session, and chances are you’re trying to rediscover your routine. Coming back from the lazy, hazy days of summer can be tough, not just for your kids but for everyone in your family. Even though your schedule is going to get more hectic, that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice quality time with your family. You can still find balance for everyone for a calmer, easier school year.
Understanding the Challenge: Why Balance Is Important
Having balance in our lives is extremely important. When we are being pulled in a thousand different directions at once, we can’t be as effective as we need to be. Have you ever had so many things going on in a week that you feel you literally can’t think straight? This is when we get grouchy, forgetful, and neglect taking care of ourselves.
When we have balance in our lives, we are much calmer, happier, and more energetic. This goes for our kids, too. When we don’t have balance, they don’t have balance. An overly busy life affects everyone in the family.
Prioritizing Commitments: Identifying What Matters Most
Start by prioritizing your commitments. Make a list of all the things you have going on this school year. Extracurricular activities, recitals, plays, sports games (both home and away), band events, etc.
Next, add your commitments like work meetings, overtime, work trips, social events, etc.
Then go down the list and prioritize what matters most. Instead of letting your kids do every extracurricular activity under the sun, let them pick one or two that align with their specific interests. Does your daughter like soccer and STEM activities? Limit her to playing on the soccer team and joining the STEM club. Does your son love football and writing? Only allow him to go out for football and to join a young writer’s group.
Look at your own activities and events coming up. Do you really want to attend your sister-in-law's Pampered Chef party after coming home from a work trip the night before? No? Then politely decline.
Bottom line: Prioritize what is most important to you and not what you feel you have to do, even if you don’t want to.
Creating a Family Schedule: Tools for Organization
Creating a family schedule is important. This way, everyone knows what everyone else is doing and what’s going on. Dad knows Mom has a late meeting at work, and he’ll have to cook dinner. Ella knows Grandma is picking her up after swim practice because Mom is at her brother’s football practice and Dad is still at work. Brian knows Dad is running a few minutes late because he was a few minutes over at work.
Some ways to create a family schedule include:
-Having a morning and evening routine. This way, everyone knows what they need to do, like setting out breakfast, making coffee, and walking the dog in the morning. Or unloading the dishwasher, feeding the dog, and washing up the pots and pans in the evening.
-Plan meals ahead. Sit down and write out a menu for two weeks at a time. This will be helpful when you go grocery shopping and help you in being more organized.
-Create a chore system. Write a chore chart on an erasable whiteboard and keep it on the fridge. Make sure everyone has a job to help keep your home clean.
Tools to keep organized:
Some digital tools you can use to stay organized are:
-Cozi
-OurHome (for assigning chores to kids)
-Google Family Calendar (for those with young kids)
-FamilyWall (allows you to browse activities and interactions of each family member)
-FabFarm (families with busy social calendars)
-Calroo (for academic-focused families)
-Family Tools (use it for assigning chores, tracking homework, making lists, and calendar)
-WeParent (best for parents in co-parenting situations and busy parents)
Each of these apps has unique features, so choose one that is right for you.
Encouraging Open Communication: Discussing Needs and Expectations
Keeping communication open for busy families is crucial. It’s easy for us to get so caught up in what we’re doing that we neglect other family members. It’s not intentional; sometimes it just happens. Therefore, the lines of communication need to always stay open.
One way to facilitate this is to express your needs and expectations right off the bat. A few weeks before school starts, sit down with your kids and explain to them what your needs and expectations are for this school year. If you need them to be more responsible, tell them. If last year you had issues with them lying about things, tell them you need them to be honest about things that go on this year. Take it a step further and explain to them why you need them to do this. That it’s not just Mom or Dad nagging them, that it helps you out and explain how it helps you out.
Don’t forget to line out expectations like keeping up with homework, being committed to extracurricular activities, being a kind human being, volunteering at church, listening to those in authority, keeping their grades up, etc. And along with those expectations, line out consequences. Kids need consequences for their actions. It’s hard for parents to do that these days, but you will raise resilient, conscientious, caring kids because of it.
Also, make sure you stress that the lines of communication are always open.
Quality Over Quantity: Making the Most of Family Time
Spending quality time is important as a family. Even more so than quantity. Sometimes, those little moments of quality time with our loved ones mean everything.
So, how do we spend quality time with our loved ones when life is busy? Here are some tips:
-Turn off your electronics, this way there will be no distractions, and make sure your kids do the same with all of their electronic devices.
-While planning how you’ll spend quality time, involve your children. They will love picking out an activity for everyone to do.
-Talk to each other. Spend one-on-one time with each of your family members. You can do this in a few different ways. One, you can make sure you spend ten minutes with each of your children each night before they go to bed. Two, split a month of weekends and spend one-on-one time with each of your kids. For example, one weekend Mom spends time with Lacy on Saturday and Dad spends time with Joel on Sunday. The following weekend, Mom spends time with Charlotte on Saturday, and Dad spends time with Zach on Sunday.
-Eat together. Who doesn’t love food? Family dinner is a great way to enjoy food and fellowship. Studies have also shown that family dinners have a big impact on kids.
-Doing the little things. You can also find quality time in the little things, like going out for ice cream together, watching a favorite TV show or movie together, or teaching your child how to do something.
Setting Boundaries: Navigating Homework and Extracurriculars
Make sure you set boundaries with homework and extracurriculars. Let your kids know that if they don’t keep up with their homework and get good grades, they don’t get to take part in their extracurricular activities.
Each person has to do what is right for his or her child (or children) and family.
Flexibility and Adaptability: Adjusting Plans as Needed
Our lives are busy, and we should never be afraid of changing our plans. Flexibility and adaptability are key. If you feel overwhelmed with how busy your life is getting, don’t be afraid to decline a party invitation or a night out with friends. Don’t be afraid to limit the parties and events your kids go to either. Overall, keep an open mind and always be ready to be flexible and adapt if need be. For example, keep a bag of snacks and water bottles in the car for long practices. If you’re too tired to cook, order a pizza. Don't always set plans in stone.
Quality time with family is important, but balancing school and family time can be hard. By planning, setting boundaries, and getting everyone on the same page, you will have the best school year yet.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Johner Images
