Ephesians 4:2 Devotional for Family Tension

A Softer Heart for Family Tension
Your Nightly Prayer
by Kyle Norman

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

SOMETHING TO PONDER

The week preceding my mother’s funeral is a blur except for one moment. As my sister and I discussed the days leading up to the service, she recounted how each of my siblings was getting memorial ink. They all agreed this would be a way to honor our mother and that they would go to the tattoo parlor together. I felt heartbroken and rejected. See, this was the first time I'd heard of this. My mother had four children, yet only three appointments were made. I won’t lie; it took me a long while to get over this hurt.

Families are tricky things. Families can offer the greatest blessings and joys, but unfortunately, they also can be the context of the greatest hurts. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians reminds us that we are to bear one another in love. Now this isn’t about pretending that everything is ok when it’s not. We never downplay our own health or wellness for the sake of another. The call of love is also one that we accept and claim for ourselves. But the call of love includes the call to remember that we are frail people. In our vulnerability and frailty, we are born in love. In ways beyond our comprehension, Jesus meets our humanity with loving grace. Now, it’s one thing to assert this truth; it’s another thing to live it out. Perhaps that’s where the call to patience comes in. Patience is the offering of time and space. We give people the space to be themselves and the time they need to work through emotions, settle down, or apologize. Patience is also something we observe in ourselves, thereby giving ourselves the time and space to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us.

When we let Jesus shine through us, we soften family tensions. Just consider the words that Paul uses: Humble, Gentle, Patient. Bearing. Loving. Who does that describe? These words describe how Jesus relates to us, and so they describe our life lived in Jesus.

Today, my siblings and I have a good relationship. I bear no animosity or grudge against them. Part of the reason I have I been able to forgive them is because I know there have been times where they have offered me forgiveness. I also know that there will be times when forgiveness will need to be lived out in the future. Because my siblings aren’t perfect, and neither am I. The truth that we are to remember is that, together, we are held by Jesus, loved, and forgiven. More than any tension or conflict, this is the truth we are called to live out.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Dearest Lord Jesus,
Some of the deepest hurts I have felt have occurred through the actions of those closest to me. These times hurt me tremendously. And in my saddness and hurt I want to respond in anger and wrath. But I am reminded, Lord, that this is not the way that you responded to us. You were silent before your accusers, and on the cross, you responded to hatred with compassionate love. Lord, when my family tensions become too much for me, please bestow on me an extra measure of your Spirit, and help me respond out of your compassion rather than my own hurt.
May your words of forgiveness be on my lips and your spirit of love be in my heart. I pray all these things in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

Paul follows this verse by urging the Ephesians to make every effort to keep the peace. What is one thing you can do to soften family tension or conflict?
The call to patience is the strongest in the places where we are tempted to deny it. Where does God call you to observe more patience?
How does Jesus’ cross show us how we can respond to conflict and tension in our lives?

Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/AntonioGuillem

The Reverend Dr. Kyle Norman is the Rector of St. Paul’s Cathedral, located in Kamloops BC, Canada. He holds a doctorate in Spiritual formation and is a sought-after writer, speaker, and retreat leader. His writing can be found at Christianity.com, crosswalk.com, ibelieve.com, Renovare Canada, and many others. He also maintains his own blog revkylenorman.ca. He has 20 years of pastoral experience, and his ministry focuses on helping people overcome times of spiritual discouragement.

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