A Prayer for When Grief Affects Our Friendships
By Alicia Searl
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Grief changed me. It changed everything if I am being honest, including my relationships. But it especially put a strain on some of my friendships. After the loss of my mom, I felt so lost and alone. In time, depression wrapped around me like a smothering blanket, coddling and carelessly “comforting” me. Unfortunately, I sunk into the quick relief it provided, believing it recognized my pain. When we are in our deepest moments of sorrow, we desperately need friends to come alongside us. They offer support and clarity to situations that could lead us down dark paths. However, even the closest of friends may not recognize or understand the depth of our pain, causing more confusion and heartbreak.
The truth is, friends will naturally come in and out of our lives, and while some will be able to withstand and see us through the most difficult seasons in our lives, others will drift away. The death of a loved one has a way of rearranging our lives and oftentimes upsetting some of our friendships. While this can truly be disheartening, we must know when we are in a state of grief, and friends appear distant or silent, God is always drawing near. When we feel alone, disappointed, or even avoided, there are promises and Truths we need to remember and etch in our hearts.
God’s Promises to Remember:
- God will strengthen you. (Isaiah 41:10)
- God will grant you peace. (Isaiah 26:3)
- God will instruct you. (Psalms 32:8)
- God will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)
God’s Truth to Etch in Your Heart:
- God is trustworthy. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
- God is our safe refuge. (Psalm 46:1)
- God offers hope in all circumstances. (Hebrews 12:2)
- God’s love for us will never fail. (1 Corinthians 13:8)
Thankfully, our God is Healer and can bring peace and restore wounds acquired in our relationships during a time of grief. Will you hand over the hurt and pain to the Father, and allow Him to cover you in His mercy and grace today?
You are a loving Father, and I am ever so grateful for Your kindness and compassion. I come to You today with my heavy heart, in need of Your grace and tender loving care. Grief has taken on a shape that honestly concerns me and is now affecting relationships, especially my friendships. I’m emotionally exhausted and want to connect with my friends, but many days I am striving to put one foot in front of the other. I feel like I am disappointing them with my lack of response, and they are hurting me with their silence and distance.
Deep down, I know friends aren’t necessarily avoiding me because they don’t care, but rather because they possibly believe I need space. They may not even recognize I am hurting or unsure of how to help. I haven’t been the best about telling them how I feel and that I need their support, so in a sense, I am grieving them too. So, Lord, I seek Your guidance, wisdom, and direction. Please help me let go of the expectations I am placing on myself and others, as they are only causing disappointment and mixed-up emotions. Will You please come alongside me and help me see the blind spots I have acquired, so I can extend grace and forgiveness to the friendships that are bringing about confusion? If needed, show me where I need to create space and healthy boundaries in order to heal.
Lord, I am learning grief is a process and comes in waves. I ask You to provide a community around me during this difficult time so I can be reminded of Your promises and Truth when the lies are loud. Provide safe friendships that will be present, offer love and support, and lead me back to You. Help me to also be that friend in return. Thank You for the gift of friendship and connection, as I know You designed us to do life together. Most importantly, thank You, Lord, for being my best friend and loving me through this painful grief. I am so thankful that I can come to You in my mess, hurt, and selfish nature. I hand over all my wounds, knowing I am fully accepted, known, and loved.
I am forever grateful to be Your daughter. Amen.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
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Originally published Saturday, 01 April 2023.