"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:15-16, ESV).
Several years ago, I reconnected with a college friend who moved back to the area because of her career. Truth be told, we were not very close when we went to school together, but we did attend some of the same classes together and hung out at the same parties. She and I were quite the party animals back then, so it was exciting for me to find out that, since college graduation, she, too, had become a Christ follower.
I reached out to her on Facebook and asked if we could meet up sometime when she got settled in her new place. She gave me her phone number, and we set up a time for her to come over and visit. We had such an amazing conversation while my little one played in my living room. Considering our wild college days, it was a beautiful picture of redemption to see us reconnect and talk about the Lord! Over the next few months, our relationship truly blossomed, and we spent time praying together and talking about things we were learning in the Word. We seemed to be on the same page theologically until one day, when she texted me from the weekend she spent at a women's conference, telling me that the Lord had given her instructions about her future. The problem was that what she told me plainly contradicted scripture. I had two choices: encourage her to pursue what she believed the Lord was telling her to do, or lovingly correct her and lead her to what the Bible says on the matter, knowing very well that I might offend her by questioning whether she had heard from God.
I chose to point her to the truth found in God's Holy Word. This situation happened a couple more times in our friendship, and each time, her reaction to loving, Biblical correction negatively affected our relationship, until, unfortunately, one day she decided it was best not to speak on matters of theology. She did choose to follow what she believed the Lord was telling her to do and moved to a different state, continuing to participate in unbiblical practices and beliefs. It was just a matter of time before the friendship faded, and we both moved onward. Of course, it saddens me that our friendship had to end this way, but I can rest in the knowledge that I obeyed the Lord by following what the Bible tells all Christians to do: speak the truth in love.
"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:15-16, ESV).
Speaking the truth in love isn't about winning an argument or wielding the Bible to attack others' beliefs; It is about lovingly guiding people back to scripture so that the Body of Christ can be built up in the knowledge of God, and so that we can be equipped to minister for God's glory. Truth offends, but our delivery does not need to be offensive. We long to see others walk in the truth so that we can see lives changed and the gospel go forth. Truth divides, but we do not want to be divisive with our words as if we are trying to prove ourselves right. It's not about being right (God is right); We want to learn how to divide God's Word together and grow spiritually rightly. It can be intimidating to stand up for and speak the truth; it often makes us uncomfortable because we don't want to come across as a "know-it-all" or someone who loves confrontation. Yet we show love for God and for others by pointing them to the truth found in God's Word. We can only do that with His help. May we ask for the boldness to lovingly share His truth with others so that they can be free of the entanglement of lies and deception, and they can be equipped in and built up in His love.
Dear Lord,
I know that Your Word commands us as Christians to speak the truth in love. This task isn't always easy because we might fear rejection from those we've been called to reach. I ask You to empower me with Your grace and that Your Spirit would endow me with boldness. Help me to renew my mind with Your Word. Help me care enough to speak up so that others are not also led into deception. Truth matters because souls matter to You, and You want to see the Body of Christ walking in truth and love so that we can shine brightly for the world. In Jesus' name, amen.
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Related Resource: The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships
In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others.
Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection.
If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Friday, 05 June 2026.
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