Stop Being So Mean to Yourself
By: Alisha Headley
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. - Proverbs 18:21
Today’s Scripture is very black and white. Everything that comes out of your mouth, will either produce life or produce death. This not only implies speaking to others, but also what you are speaking to ourselves. We have a choice every day to select the words we choose to speak or not speak. I want to have the kinds of conversations with myself that speak life. The words that are truthful, kind, full of beauty, and full of a fruit-producing kind of life.
I’m not sure what time of the day you are reading this but ask yourself: what have you said so far today to yourself about yourself? Maybe it was when you got dressed and you spoke negative things about your body and the way you look. Or maybe it was those words you spoke about how you’re an awful mother because you were impatient with your kids.
What words did you speak over yourself during such moments?
Ladies – stop being mean to yourself. Seriously.
If you are going to be the woman who God has called you to be, it begins by speaking life and speaking beautiful things; and it starts with your words. We constantly have thoughts running through our minds that direct our days. I recently read that the average person thinks 54,000 thoughts a day. Out of all those thoughts each day, how many of those negative thoughts do you take in and then speak death over yourself?
We need to pay attention. We need to pay attention to our thoughts and “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5). For we all know that we have a real enemy, the devil, who “prowls around us seeking to destroy us” (1 Peter 5:8). He often does this by speaking lies to us. We need to be able to combat those lies before we speak the words into our life. The only way to combat lies is with truth. And truth comes to us through the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12).
Pay attention. Identify the negative thoughts. And replace those lies with truth before you speak any words.
For some of us, like myself, it can be hard at times to find reasons to speak words of truth to myself. If you don’t believe loving things about yourself, I encourage you to seek out God to fill you with His love. It’s full. It’s beautiful. And once you begin to soak in it every day, you’ll see how God really feels about you – which is nothing but loving life-giving thoughts.
Did you know that you are loved by God? And He uniquely and carefully crafted you together? When you speak harshly to yourself, don’t you think that hurts God, the one who created you? For He “knit you together in your mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13) as you are “fearfully are wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) He knows you. All of you. All your past. And He loves you anyway. You are his daughter and he loves you dearly. In fact, he loved you so much he sent his perfect son in Heaven down in earthly flesh to die a painful humiliating death on a cross. (John 3:16) And absolutely “nothing can ever separate you from the love of God.” (Romans 8:39)
We haven’t earned this type of love, nor will we ever. It’s a gift. We are so imperfect. Yet God created us just the way He wanted us as “we are the clay, and He is the potter.” (Isaiah 64:8). Learn to speak kindly to yourself and stop being so mean. Just as your Creator spoke life into you, let's also, in turn, speak life into our daily talk with our words. Those words have power, and it’s time to believe them, live in them, and speak them.
Alisha Headley is a writer and speaker who has a desire to meet the everyday woman in her everyday life with biblical truth. Healing from a chapter of life consumed with lies she once believed about herself, she is inspired to point women to Christ to experience the freedom and power to overcome those lies with the truth written in God’s word. You can follow her blog by visiting her website or connect with her on facebook + instagram.
Related Resource: Instead of Doing More This Summer, Maybe You Need to Do Less
If you've been feeling tired, overwhelmed, depleted, or just quietly wondering where God is in the middle of a very full life — this episode is for you. And honestly? It might be for me too, because I'm recording this in one of those seasons myself.
Today we're doing something a little different. Instead of going deep in a passage, we're talking about what to do when deep feels like too much — when you need less, not more. Specifically, I'm walking you through one of my favorite practices for weary seasons: handwriting scripture.
Not typing it. Not scrolling past it. Actually writing it out, slowly, in your own hand — because something happens in your brain when you do that. The words land differently. They go deeper. And over time, they become part of that personal library of God's voice that the Holy Spirit can pull from when you need it most. That's what Psalm 119:11 means when it says I have hidden your word in my heart — it's scripture moving into your long-term memory, where it lives and stays even when you haven't opened your Bible in weeks.
I'm sharing the five verses I wrote out for myself today — and why each one hit me fresh even though I've known some of them for years. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to follow the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Monday, 17 October 2022.
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