“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so you may know how to answer each person.” Colossians 4:6 ESV
I could hear the footsteps coming around the corner; my face flushed, and my heart sank.
How much of the conversation had she heard?
Did she know who we were talking about?
Is she going to tell that person I was talking badly about her?
Hopefully, you haven’t experienced the situation above. You know, the one where you are caught saying something you shouldn’t? Thankfully, over time, I’ve learned to watch what I say, stamp down bluntly unkind words, and use caution before speaking in groups. Yes, outwardly, I am doing a pretty good job guarding my words and not finding myself in situations like the above.
But, it is still a struggle for me to avoid gossip, for my speech to be grace-filled and “seasoned with salt,” as our key verse admonished us to do in Colossians 4:6. Perhaps you can relate to one of these scenarios:
"I probably shouldn’t share this, but it’s okay; we are friends who won’t say anything, right?"
"I am sorry, I just had to tell someone. Did you hear about Susan’s divorce? That’s just awful, isn’t it?"
"I am unsure if she’s telling anyone, but can you add Claire to the prayer list? She’s having a tough time."
Jokingly, a friend gave me a towel that read, “It’s not gossip if it’s a prayer request.” We were on a woman’s retreat where we discussed the power of a woman’s words, so thankfully, it was just a funny gesture in this context. However, far too often, we do just that: we disguise gossip as caring, share information that’s not ours to share, or give unneeded commentary on the lives of others.
There are over 120 verses that speak about our words, how to use them, what to say, and what not to say. Learning to engage in conversation that is edifying to others is a vital part of the Christian life.
As a part of effective evangelism, we must have gracious, kind speech. Our conversations are meant to be seasoned with salt, in other words, adding richness to others and preserving the message of the gospel. In all situations, we must also be ready to answer non-believers' questions and defend what we believe and why we know our faith to be true.
How do we do this? We fill our hearts and minds with the truth of God’s Word so that the natural outpouring of our speech will be God-honoring, and we can give a reason for what we believe (Titus 1:9). It will not always be easy to say kind words; there are times when we want to vent to our friends or family members. However, Scripture reminds us that it is important how we react in these challenging situations with difficult people; our words will be a living testimony of Christ.
As we think about our conversations, we can ask ourselves these questions to hold us accountable:
Even though this is true, would I want someone to say/share this about me?
If the person I am talking about were in the room, would I say this with them present?
Does this conversation build up or tear down the person I am speaking about?
Am I sharing out of a need to be relevant or important, or am I genuinely concerned and trying to seek help/advice for this person?
Heavenly Father, thank You that You are long-suffering with Your Children. Too often, I do not honor You with the words of my mouth. I speak unkindly about others; I share information to make me look better and hide behind prayer requests. Please forgive me, Lord. Help my conversations to be grace-filled, uplifting, and kind. May my conversations be honoring to You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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Related Resource: Hope, Chronic Illness, and Trusting God with Your Kids
When faced with parenting crises, special-needs challenges, fear, and exhaustion, how do you keep moving forward?
Sarah Walton is an author, wife, and mom of four whose family has faced chronic illness, a son with severe behavioral episodes, and years of uncertainty without answers. In this conversation, Sarah talks about what it looked like to survive the hardest seasons of motherhood and how her faith carried her through.
She shares how she learned to grieve her expectations, hold hope and acceptance together, and find small joys when everything felt dark. She also offers practical words for how to support a friend who is suffering — and what not to say. Her new book is "Jesus Will Meet You There." If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Tuesday, 30 January 2024.
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