Loving the Hard-to-Love Person
By: Alisha Headley
Editor’s note: This devotional is about loving the hard-to-love person in your life. We do not condone staying in an abusive relationship. If the “hard-to-love” person in your life is being abusive, call the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline to get help: 1-800-799-7233.
“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” - I John 4:11
There are people in this world who we find just plain hard to love. Perhaps it’s that co-worker, neighbor, or relative you have to see only a few times a year. But what if it’s also someone who is close to you, such as a spouse? Sometimes loving that hard-to-love person seems impossible.
It’s easy to love those who are loveable, right? Even Scripture acknowledges that in Luke 6:32 saying “If you love those who love you, what credit is that? Even sinners love those who love them.”
The truth is, loving the unlovable is hard if we are trying to love them out of our own strength. Especially when they have hurt us in any way. Even more, if they continue to hurt us. Some of us want to take revenge. Some of us withhold love in an effort to teach them a lesson. Some people just don’t deserve to be loved, right?
Let me ask you - do you feel YOU deserve to be loved? For all the filth, sin, and things you have done in your life that didn’t glorify God, your Maker? What makes you so deserving of love?
The truth is: we are so undeserving of His love. But yet, He still loves us. Nothing we can do or say will “separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:39). No sin, no past, no addiction, no depression, no angel, or demon. Absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God.
God calls us to love just as He loves us. He commands us to love all throughout Scripture. We have heard these words since we are a child. The very first Sunday school hymn most of us learned early on were the words ‘Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.’ We know these words. We speak these words telling our spouse and kids we love them every day. But do we actually LIVE OUT these words?
Love manifests itself through action. Jesus demonstrated this kind of love by hanging on a cross – the ultimate symbol of love. Think about this more deeply. Jesus left the splendor and perfection of heaven and entered the filth of earth because He loved us so much. He willingly agreed to suffer, to be beaten, betrayed by his closest friends, humiliated, accused, and wrongfully treated BECAUSE HE LOVED US.
When I feel wronged, my feelings tend to take over. But love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. It looks like this: when someone hurts you, you love them anyway. You forgive anyways. You show them Christ by loving them. Let God deal with them in His time and in His way as that’s His job. It’s our job to love and keep on loving.
Romans 12:20 says “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on your head.” In other words, don’t repay evil for evil as that’s God’s job. But keep on loving that hard-to-love person because God commands as to. And as someone who is so undeserving of His love, I am to show the same underserving love to others. For what if – you are the ONLY person that crosses the path of this hard-to-love person, therefore the ONLY person to potential show Christ through you? You’re a vessel for Christ, so I encourage you to be a vessel of love.
Alisha Headley is a writer and speaker who has a desire to meet the everyday woman in her everyday life with biblical truth. Healing from a chapter of life consumed with lies she once believed about herself, she is inspired to point women to Christ to experience the freedom and power to overcome those lies with the truth written in God’s word. Alisha is a proud wifey and dog mama living in Charlotte, North Carolina.
You can follow her blog by visiting her website or connect with her on facebook + instagram.
Related Resource: Praying Through Psalm 51: Restoring the Joy of Salvation
Can a heart stained by the worst kinds of betrayal ever truly be restored?? When the world demands justice, does God offer a different way back? In this devotional on Psalm 51, we step into the wreckage of King David’s greatest failure—the affair with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah. We move beyond a simple apology to uncover the specific Hebrew anatomy of David's confession: Pesha (rebellion), Avon (twistedness), and Hata'ah (missing the mark). We explore the shocking reality that under Mosaic Law, David should have faced the death penalty, yet he boldly asks God to "create a way" where the law offered none. If you’ve ever felt like your mistakes have disqualified you from God’s presence, or that you are not worthy due to your past mistakes, this episode offers a roadmap from guilt to gladness. Come ready to run toward the Father who doesn't just want your perfection, but your broken and contrite heart. If this episode helped you connect with God, be sure to follow Praying Christian Women on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Friday, 14 July 2023.
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