Love on a Silver Platter
Today’s Truth
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV)
Friend to Friend
C. S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” I wholeheartedly agree. Forgiveness can be especially difficult when the forgiving needs to come from the man who promised to love and cherish you all the days of your life. What is more difficult is having the marriage of your dreams without forgiveness.
Un-forgiveness is a spider that will suck the very lifeblood from your relationship. Paul wrote, “I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes” (2 Corinthians
Satan does a happy dance when we are wronged, but he throws an all-out celebration when we don’t forgive. He knows that as long as we hold a grudge, our earthly example of Christ and the church (our marriage) will be marred and we will never experience the oneness God intended.
Author Philip Yancey, in his book, What’s So Amazing About Grace?, said, “If we do not transcend nature, we remain bound to the people we cannot forgive, held in their vise grip. This principle applies even when one party is wholly innocent and the other wholly to blame, for the innocent party will bear the wound until he or she can find a way to release it – and forgiveness is the only way.” (Philip Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace? (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1997), 155.)
Henry and Richard Blackaby explain: “Bitterness has a tenacious way of taking root deep within the soul and resisting all efforts to weed it out…Time, rather than diminishing the hurt, only seems to sharpen the pain…You find yourself rehearsing the offense over and over again, each time driving the root of bitterness deeper within your soul…Bitterness is easy to justify. You can get so used to a bitter heart that you are even comfortable with it, but it will destroy you. Only God is fully aware of its destructive potential.” (Henry Blackaby and Richard Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 1997), 193)
Only God is fully aware of the destructive potential of un-forgiveness to tear a marriage apart. Un-forgiven offense by un-forgiven offense, brick by brick, walls are built that separate husbands and wives emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Perhaps you are unsure if you have un-forgiveness in your heart toward your spouse. Perhaps the un-forgiveness has been there for so long, it feels at home in your heart and you don’t even realize it’s there. Stop and pray Psalm 139:23-24. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” If God brings something to your mind, deal with it quickly and completely.
Let’s Pray
Thank you Lord that You have forgiven me when I don’t deserve forgiveness. Help me to have a forgiving heart and forgive others as You have forgiven me – totally and completely.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen
Now It’s Your Turn
Did you pray today’s truth? If so, what did God reveal?
If not, stop and do it right now. Then wait for God to reveal anything in your heart that needs to be cleansed.
Remember, power always follows obedience. Is there someone you need to forgive today? Perhaps it is not your husband, but someone else who has hurt you deeply. Let go and be free!
Why do you think I titled today’s devotion, “Love on a silver platter?”
More from the Girlfriends
A great marriage is the union of two good forgivers. It’s not easy, but we can’t have a great marriage without it. If you want to learn more about how to have the marriage you’ve always longed for, you’ll want to read Becoming the woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes for an insightful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role only you have in your husband’s life.
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Girlfriends in God
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Originally published Monday, 18 February 2008.