When You're Sure They Are Wrong and You Want To Judge
SHANNON POPKIN
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“But the LORD replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry?’” Jonah 4:4 (NIV)
I washed my hands in the sink, muttering for the fifth time that day about how my friend was wrong and I was right. The scene consumed the court of my mind. I replayed her words and remembered how judged I felt by them. As I swung my inner gavel, I glanced up at the mirror and stopped short.
I looked pretty vindictive myself! As I studied my frozen expression, I found no trace of mercy, only sneering judgment. It was sobering. No matter how “right” I felt, God showed me that I was in the wrong too.
God’s heart is pent up with not judgment but mercy. And He calls those who have received mercy to extend it. When we persist in gavel-pounding contempt, God often holds up a mirror.
That’s what happened to Jonah. When Jonah preached to the Ninevites, they fell to their knees with surprising repentance. But equally surprising was Jonah’s fury. He was outraged! He wanted them to receive God’s judgment, not His mercy. Then God asked Jonah a piercing question: “Is it right for you to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4).
Notice that word, “right.” Our contempt is rooted in our sense of right and wrong. And to be fair, Nineveh had done lots wrong. God wasn’t dismissive of their wickedness. Neither was He willing to look past Jonah’s embroiled hatred. Yes, they’re wrong, God was saying, but, Jonah, are you right?
It reminds me of when my young daughter would tattle on her little brother. She’d stand on the staircase after bedtime, nose tipped up, and announce, “Coley got out of bed again.”
“Uh oh,” I’d reply. “And what about you, dearie?”
The finger of judgment always points down from an elevated position. Contempt says two things at once: They are wrong, and I am nothing like them. That’s how Jonah saw Nineveh. But God held a mirror up to Jonah’s contempt. Was his response truly right?
God used a striking Hebrew word when speaking of Nineveh. Instead of referring to them simply as “people,” He said, Should I not care about these humans? (Jonah 4:11). God was humanizing Jonah’s enemies — placing Jonah among them in the same human race. Why? Because compassion grows when we see ourselves among those we’ve condemned. The truth is, all humanity stands before God guilty. Yet He is the merciful Judge, and He calls His people to extend mercy.
Perhaps your anger and judgment feel justified against people who truly have done evil. Or maybe, like mine, your “Ninevites” aren’t quite so wicked. My threshold for contempt can be embarrassingly low. That day at the mirror, God showed me my sneering judgment and asked the same question He asked Jonah: Is it right for you to be angry? It wasn’t. My contempt was deeply wrong, and I asked God to forgive me.
In the following days, I chose to think and speak of my friend with empathy, not disgust. I rehearsed God’s mercy for me in Christ, though I'm a sinner deserving judgment. Over time, His mercy melted my heart. He wants to do the same for you.
Lord, I confess that I’m often kinda judgy. Break my heart, and make me merciful like You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
Feeling exhausted by judgment — both given and received? In Kinda Judgy: Finding Mercy for Myself and Others in Six Stories of the Bible, Shannon Popkin invites you into six biblical stories that reveal the mercy of the One who judges rightly and loves lavishly. If you’re ready to soften your heart and respond with compassion instead of condemnation, grab your copy of Kinda Judgy today.
ENGAGE
For more encouragement on responding with mercy and humility, explore Shannon Popkin’s resources and connect with her on her website, Instagram, Facebook, and the Live Like It’s True Bible Podcast.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
Luke 6:36, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (NIV).
Think of the person in your life whose sin you find most outrageous, and listen for God’s gentle question: Is it right for you to be angry? Consider how God wants you to extend His mercy to this person.
We’d love to hear from you in the comments!
© 2026 by Shannon Popkin. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
Originally published Tuesday, 02 June 2026.
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