Pardon My Ashes
Café Menu for Thursday, March 20, 2014
Today’s Special is: What God Is Doing with My Biggest Mommy Hurdle
Carefully prepared just for you by your friend, Michelle Axton Kelly
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
– Romans 15:13 NIV
This morning I sat in my hall, breathing heavily and gasping for grace. “God, please forgive me! No, no, no! I blew it again.” An hour earlier my preschool aged girls and I read a lesson about self-control. We’d come up with a plan for blowing out anger when sister hands snag toys away. And we talked about the voice to employ when someone dances into personal space. But now? Now. My own volcanic explosion made it clear that I am the one who needs self-control.
I confess. I am finding this season of motherhood hard. There are days, full of minutes, when I hang on to my tongue for dear life, afraid of the damage it might do if left to its own will. There are nights, when I have cried, kneeling down next to my babies’ beds, sure that my lack of grace must be messing them up for life. I’ve muffled tears in my closet, seeking God’s help while they play. I’ve pleaded with Him in my car for patience. Then there’s the grocery store or the library, where recently my youngest ran laughing amongst the books. Away from me. Her desperate mom. Naked.
Yes. I pray for patience.
By no means have I mastered this thing, this devastating ash, that I can spread around our lives. But the real beauty in giving my biggest struggle over to God is that He forgives. And He brings with forgiveness a new day. A chance to get it right.
He encourages by placing wise parents in my life who don’t judge, but lead. They show me through heartfelt conversation or books they have written courageously that I am not alone. I learn that my adventures in motherhood are to be cherished. They whisper to my soul that I am made for more than this and with God’s help I will overcome. One moment at a time. Praise Jesus.
Each day I see signs of more control, joy and hope as I continue to pray. I’ve no doubt Jesus will free me from this, my biggest mommy hurdle. What about you? Can you be a light for God that encourages the heart of a weary mom who struggles with anger? Or maybe you too need a virtual hug? I’ve listed resources below that will give hope. Also, here at Encouragement Café we would love to pray for you. Leave a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you are a mom struggling with anger, it may be tempting to keep your trials to yourself. But you don’t have to fight through this, or any other spiritual stumbling block, alone. Know God loves you with an abundance of mercy and grace beyond anything we are capable of providing. Pray for His peace and patience. Ask Him to place precious resources of encouragement in your path to help free you in the name of Christ.
Dear God, as moms we want the absolute best for the little blessings You have entrusted us with. And we know there is a way to nurture their hearts and the seeds You have planted so they recognize the grace and mercy of Jesus reflected back to them through our actions. Help us rise above temporary circumstances to the calling You have given us with joy, hope and faith.
© 2014 by Michelle Axton Kelly. All rights reserved.
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Originally published Thursday, 20 March 2014.