How to Grow Spiritually Alongside Your Spouse
By: Betsy St. Amant Haddox
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. - Hebrews 4:12
In marriage, spouses typically grow spiritually at different times and in different seasons. Based on whatever trials are going on in their individual lives, or however the Lord is using various circumstances in their life, people grow at their own unique rate. However, that doesn’t mean that spouses can’t also grow together.
In your marriage today, your spouse might be “further along” than you spiritually. You might consider them the leader and feel pressure to “catch up.” Or you might be the leader and wish it was them, instead. Biblically, the role of spiritual leader falls to the husband, but this doesn’t always mean the male spouse is going to fulfill that role at every moment. As a wife, we need to cheer him on and give grace when his enthusiasm periodically wavers.
One way spouses can bond spiritually is by reading the Bible together. The actual reading can be done together or individually, based on personal reading preferences, but the point is that discussion takes place. One goal could be that every week, each spouse takes a turn choosing a chapter, a Psalm, or a portion of the Bible to read and talk about together. This gets both spouses spiritually minded and creates a vulnerable space to discuss theology or things that the Lord is doing in their individual lives.
The book of Hebrews points out that the word of God discerns our hearts. When we’re reading the Bible regularly with our spouse, we’re more open to conviction and less likely to be harboring secret grudges or resentment.
Also, in the book of Joshua, it talks about how we should not just read the Bible to check it off our list, but to really meditate, or ponder, over it. To let it sink in and lead us and change us.
Joshua 1:8 (ESV) This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
What better way to do this than in unity with your spouse?
Another way spouses can bond spiritually is by praying together. It might feel awkward at first, but try to push past it, and know that you’re in a safe place with them. Praying together briefly before work is a good start, or at night before bed. It doesn’t have to be long, but starting the practice draws couples closer together and closer to the Lord, all at the same time. And, bonus—its hard to be aggravated or annoyed at your spouse when you’re audibly praying with them!
Listening to worship music is another way to grow spiritually. Filling our minds with the things of the Spirit bears fruit that you and your spouse will both notice. Try listening to Christian music on your morning commute or when you exercise. My husband frequently turns worship music on in the background of our home while we’re cooking or cleaning. This not only fills our hearts with the things of the Lord, but also creates a peaceful environment for our family.
Starting simple habits like these with your spouse could lead to new spiritual depths—individually and together—for the rest of your lives.
Betsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of over sixteen inspirational romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her drummer of a hubby, two total-opposite young daughters, a collection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash of pickle chips. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ. When she's not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can usually be found somewhere in the vicinity of a white-chocolate mocha. Visit her and see a list of books at http://www.betsystamant.com./
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