In 2019, I began walking through one of the hardest seasons of my life. I'd just been diagnosed with clinical anxiety and depression, numerous stomach issues, and suspected endometriosis. But instead of receiving the typical get-well cards, casseroles, and encouragement, I was told over and over again an unsettling phrase: "Just pray about."
I knew they meant well, but I couldn't shake the deep gnawing in my stomach. Did they even know me? Of course, I was praying. Prayer is powerful. James 5:16 reminds us that the prayers of a righteous person are powerful and effective. And yet, this advice to "pray more" can feel dismissive and invalidating. Sadly, I'm not the only one to hear this cliché.
If you've been told to "pray more," to answer your suffering, I want you to know that I'm so sorry. Prayer is incredible, but also a powerful reminder that it's okay to seek practical biblical help from God and those He's blessed us with. Here are three reminders when Christian clichés like these aren't enough.
A few weeks ago, my Pastor preached an incredible sermon series on depression. It was raw, authentic, vulnerable, and honestly, one of the best I've ever heard. In the series, he used biblical figures who struggled with depression and explained what was helpful for them in their recovery. Of the helpful antidotes, he mentioned prayer. But here's the catch: prayer is a starting point. It's absolutely where we should begin when we're suffering. God wants us to start with Him. He desires to hear what's on our hearts. But he also gives us permission to find and obtain practical advice.
Prayer was never meant to replace practical steps but to guide them. Why else would Scripture tell us to pray without ceasing and to pray at all times in all circumstances? Nehemiah prayed, but he also rebuilt the wall. Elijah prayed and took care of his physical needs (food, water, and rest).
There's a common misconception in Christian circles that prayer is something we rattle off the tongue and then move on. But prayer is alive and active; it leads, guides, directs, and informs our next best step, and helps us take those actions.
Hebrews 4:12 says it this way: "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (NIV).
The second thing I've learned about the power of prayer is that faith and feelings can co-exist. Again, many Christian clichés will try to argue this fact. We hear comments like "If you trusted God, you wouldn't be anxious," or "depression is a sin," but nothing could be further from the heart of our Creator.
God created us as human beings with a plethora of emotions. We feel all the feels—and I sometimes feel them too much. Nevertheless, God gave us these feelings for a reason. If you need help, that doesn't mean your faith is weak. While feelings alone shouldn't guide our decisions, they're nothing to be ashamed of. They help us discern signals and move forward in faith regardless of our feelings.
Jesus Christ, the founder of our faith, felt emotions, too. Fully human yet fully God, He wept, rejoiced, laughed, and mourned. He prayed, but He also sought support from the humans around Him. This reminds us that feelings are part of the human and spiritual process. God isn't disappointed by our emotions but is present with us through them.
Through my prayers with the Lord, I've learned that it's okay to need and rely on other people, too. I will never stop praying, but I will also never stop requiring people to walk through this life journey with me. We were never created to do life alone or to see communication with God as legalism.
Yes, God wants us to seek Him first and talk to Him continually through prayer. But to ignore the people, blessings, and resources He's given us here on earth would be ignorant.
When I was in high school, I once heard this story: A man was drowning in a local town. A neighbor threw him a life-saver, but he replied, "Nah, I'm waiting on God to save me." The same thing happened when a fire truck and an ambulance arrived on the scene. When he got to Heaven, the man asked God, "Why didn't you rescue me?" God replied: "I sent a life-saver, fire truck, and ambulance!"
My point is this: Community, counseling, medication, and support groups are often answers to prayer, not alternatives or replacements. We need prayer like oxygen, but it's okay to need and take advantage of practical solutions, too. We pray for healing, but that healing can come through human hands.
If you're struggling today, I want you to know that while prayer is powerful, it's also okay and often necessary to seek practical, tangible help. God doesn't think less of you; He's proud of you for using the resources He's blessed you with. If that scares you, start small:
-Pray for peace and schedule a therapy session.
-Pray for strength and set healthy boundaries with those causing harm.
-Pray for clarity and talk with someone you trust.
-Pray for courage and try the medication you were prescribed.
-Pray for confidence and tell your best friend what's on your heart.
-Pray for joy and take time to mourn.
-Pray for patience and ask God what practical steps you can take here and now.
Prayer is powerful and effective, but should never be used as a cliché that hurts struggling others. God meets us in our prayers because life is a process.
Dear God, when well-meaning individuals tell us to pray and move on, remind us to be gracious and gentle with ourselves. Help us know that it's okay to seek practical help and that you want it for us. As we pray, help us to listen and discern practical action steps we can take in our daily lives. Thank you for the gift of communication with you, the blessing of the people, and the support you've placed in our lives. We were never meant to do life alone, and you don't think ill of us for needing tangible hope.
Mark 11:24 notes: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" (NIV). And so, Lord, we pray this with bold and abundant faith. Our words aren't half-hearted pleas, but the deepest places of our hearts. And you will provide for us through prayer and practical next steps. We love, praise, and thank you, Lord.
Photo credit: Getty/Jantanee Rungpranomkorn