When Healing Doesn’t Come: Finding Purpose and Peace in Chronic Suffering

When my rheumatologist first diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, and I learned I’d likely endure chronic pain for the rest of my life, I felt discouraged, depressed, and struggled to maintain hope. Initially, I was angry with God. Then I became frustrated at myself for letting my tangled emotions hijack my day and productivity. 

That was over twelve years ago. While I haven’t yet received the healing I so fervently prayed for, I’ve learned to give space to my feelings and share the depth of my soul with Christ. I’m also learning to hold tight to my hope for relief while living purposefully in this present season. Most importantly, God has shown me He remains with me, speaking love, comfort, and encouragement to my burdened heart. If you relate to my experience and find yourself battling pain you feel might never subside, I pray this article strengthens your weary soul. 

The Sacredness of Emotions

Unfortunately, many of us learned to suppress and deny how we feel. Sadly, many of us found this lesson reinforced by our faith community, who readily proclaimed verses instructing us to take our thoughts captive and rejoice in all circumstances with little to no discussion of passages where God’s holy people expressed their anger and anguish unfiltered. These experiences can make us feel isolated in our pain. We might even come to view our more unpleasant emotions as sin. 

But that’s not the message the Bible conveys. Scripture records numerous heartfelt laments from people who enjoyed deep intimacy with God, perhaps because of their courageously authentic prayers. 

Biblical examples

Consider Job, the righteous man who endured intense relational, financial, and physical hardships. Within the first chapter of the book bearing his name, a raiding people group attacked and killed many of his servants and stole his oxen and donkeys (Job 1:15). Immediately after, fire, presumably lightning (v. 16), fell from the sky and consumed his sheep and more of his servants (v. 17). Then the Chaldeans stole his camels and a son’s house collapsed, killing him and his siblings (v. 17). 

Initially, Job responded with surrendered praise:

At this, Job got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” (Job 1:20, NIV),

Later, however, Job voiced his distress, stating things like, “May the day of my birth perish,” and “Why did I not perish at birth and die as I came from the womb?” (Job 3:3, 11). We don’t see him embracing his suffering with joy (James 1:2) or experiencing the “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Phil. 4:7) in this moment. Instead, he stated, “I have no peace, no quietness; no rest, but only turmoil” (Job 3:26, NIV). 

Consider also Jeremiah, often referred to as “the weeping prophet”. He served God and His people decades before the Babylonian invasion. For years, he warned God’s children to forsake their idolatrous and oppressive ways, but they refused to listen. Sadly, the prophet’s words resulted in ridicule and persecution. 

How did Jeremiah respond? With shouts of praise and hallelujahs? No. Instead, he accused God of trickery, stating,

You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived;
    you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
    everyone mocks me.
8 Whenever I speak, I cry out
    proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the Lord has brought me
    insult and reproach all day long (Jer 20:7-8, NIV). 

These and numerous other biblical examples encourage us to speak truthfully to our Father regarding our pain, trusting Him to meet us. After all, He’s invited us into a relationship, which necessitates authenticity and transparency. He already knows our every thought, doubt, and emotion; remains with us in our hardships; and meets our weakness with compassion and inexhaustible grace. 

Honoring our limits

Living in a culture that overtly idolizes outward displays of strength and those who appear to achieve success through sheer effort alone, we might feel tempted to hide our challenges or turn to self-reliance. As a former athlete raised by a coach, I understand the desire to push through the pain. This might be necessary when caring for loved ones or meeting certain responsibilities. But everyone needs time to rest and recover. This is particularly true for those with chronic conditions exacerbated by fatigue. 

Initially, I struggled to accept that, especially when I feared my limitations hindered my goals. My angst decreased, however, when I remembered God’s promises, power, and perfect will. According to Scripture, He knew my every step before I learned to walk. In Psalm 139:16, David, ancient Israel’s second king, wrote this about God:

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (NIV). 

On my most challenging days, I also gained encouragement from Ephesians 2:10, which reads:

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (NIV). 

God prepared His plans for each of us “in advance”, understanding precisely what our lives would look like in this moment, tomorrow, and decades from now. Therefore, He’s already accounted for today’s difficulties. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean He wants us to “push through.” Instead, this reminds us to live completely aligned with Christ, taking on those things He has assigned, saying no to what He hasn’t, and remaining alert to people He positions to help us. In the United States, we often struggle to receive assistance, let alone acknowledge our need. Our culture practically makes independence a religion, but our fierce self-reliance contradicts the heart posture to which God calls us. 

He invites us to lean on and support one another. 

Consider Moses, the Hebrew tasked with liberating the Lord’s people from 400 years of slavery and oppression in Egypt. He’s known as one of the greatest prophets in Scripture and a man who maintained an intimate relationship with God (Deuteronomy 34:10-12), lived empowered by the Almighty, and performed numerous lifesaving miracles. When the emerging nation found themselves trapped with a body of water on one side and a massive army advancing on the other, he parted the Red Sea so the people could cross on dry land. He personally received the ten commandments, made bitter water drinkable, and twice caused water to gush from a rock. 

But he also experienced the overwhelm that comes when one reaches their limit. This occurred shortly after he and the people left Egypt and were en route to Mt. Sinai. The Israelites definitely challenged his role as leader with their frequent complaints and their constant demands to return to the land of oppression. 

In Exodus 18, “Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood about Moses from the morning until the evening” (v. 13, NIV).

While Scripture doesn’t tell us how many men and women clamored for his attention, we can reasonably assume this was quite a crowd. Exodus 12:37 tells us the people numbered six hundred men. Estimating the undisclosed number of women and children, many scholars calculate the Hebrew population at 2 million. Consider that if 10 percent of these individuals sought Moses’ help (or his ear for their complaints), then 200,000 people clamored for his attention.

That would overwhelm my inner introvert! Notice also that Scripture tells us they came to him from morning until evening. 

Upon seeing this, Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, said:

Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone (Ex. 18:17-18, NIV). 

We all need more Jethros in our lives! 

His solution? 

“…Select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you” (Ex. 18:21-22, NIV).

Moses complied. Because he distributed the load, he could lead the people more effectively.  

Honoring my limits means being selective regarding how many speaking engagements I accept each year, guarding my sleep and rest time, and giving myself grace when pain steals my sleep and hampers my productivity. In those moments, I can view my weakness as a flaw that gets in the way of my calling or an opportunity to seek God’s guidance and depend more fully on His Spirit. As I turn to Him in my frustration, He reminds me of His power, authority, and promise to work all things for my good and His glory. 

In his book Courage and Calling, Gordon T. Smith wrote:

“What does it mean to take responsibility for my life in response to the way God has made me and called me? The response to this question is to learn how to work with the hand we have dealt. … We are not being asked to take responsibility for anything other than the hand that has been dealt to us—including everything! Our gifts, talents, and potential, of course. But also the range of setbacks, disappointments, and limitations thrust on us.”

In other words, we honor God when we honor our limits and yield our whole selves, weaknesses and all, to Him. This means trusting that He still has a plan, even for our hardest days, and that His plan is good, not burdensome or enslaving. 

Praying for healing

I understand how painful it can feel to hear people discuss divine healing or share stories of the miracles they experienced. Most of us who deal with chronic pain have spent years, if not decades, begging God for relief. Certain Christ-followers might even have wounded you by implying that your physical ailment remains due to a lack of faith or some undisclosed sin. If so, may you receive comfort from how the Lord rebuked Job’s well-meaning but theologically misguided friends who assumed his intense hardship came from unconfessed sin. 

Job’s account reminds us that difficulties hit us all, including the most “righteous among us.” It also reveals a disappointing truth: God has the power to heal all people of every ailment. But for reasons we may never know this side of heaven, He doesn’t always choose to do so. Yet, Scripture still encourages us to keep praying. 

Last fall, after a grueling traveling season that caused my pain to spike to unmanageable proportions and remain intense for months, my husband and I determined that I needed to take time off speaking. I assumed that part of my ministry was over. Not long after, I immediately disregarded a future opportunity because of the difficulty I experienced last autumn. As quickly, however, I sensed the Lord’s whisper in my soul saying, “Don’t presume today’s hardship onto your future.” His words encouraged me to retain hope for miracles, even when they seem unlikely or greatly delayed. 

About a month after receiving that divine message, I learned of a Christ-led company bringing significant pain relief (and relief for anxiety and depression) using infrared and near infrared light therapy. After some investigation, I decided to try one of the products SunPowerLED created. After reading research from numerous sources, I was so inspired and encouraged that I invited the company’s founder, Tom Kerber, onto the Faith Over Fear podcast to share his journey with my listeners. (You can catch our conversation HERE.)  

Will the device I’m using fix my ailments? Only the Lord knows. But regardless of my results, I choose hope—not in my preferred outcome but in the God of hope who always responds from perfect love and longs to see His children thrive.

This leads to my last point. 

Living with Purpose

A strategic and purposeful God created us. He’s given us two interconnected and unchanging assignments: to know Him and make Him known. How we do this will change throughout our lives and according to our capabilities. Some of us might have the stamina to lead a Bible study or write devotional content. God might ask us to sit with a hurting friend or send prayer notes to soldiers or people in nursing homes. We can always pray for our loved ones, friends and neighbors, local and national leaders, and the world. In fact, intercession is our most powerful weapon, a sacred and holy act, and the most effective use of our time and energy. 

I don’t know how God wants to use you in your present season. He might invite you to simply rest with Him as He heals your soul, strengthens your faith, and builds your spiritual resilience. He might encourage you to serve in ministry, send texts with verses to your family, create art or jewelry to brighten someone’s day, teach children, or remain present with someone in desperate need of a friend. But I know He has an eternally vital assignment hand-crafted for you in this season. The question is, will you trust Him with your pain, heart, calling, and future? Will you honor Him while enduring chronic pain by consistently turning to Him, listening for His guidance, and following however He leads?   

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/LaylaBird

Jennifer Slattery is a writer and speaker who co-hosts the Faith Over Fear podcast and, along with a team of 6, the Your Daily Bible Verse podcast. She’s addressed women’s groups, Bible studies, and taught at writers conferences across the nation. She’s the author of Building a Family and numerous other titles and maintains a devotional blog at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud.com.