C. S. Lewis was no stranger to grief. He first experienced grief when his mother passed away. Lewis was only 9 years old when his mother died of cancer. His life was permanently changed after her death. He wanted to call for her, but realized she would never answer again.
Most of us can relate to C. S. Lewis, especially if we have experienced grief at an early age. My mom passed away when I was a teen, and her absence has left a wound in my heart that refuses to be healed. Every day, I wish I could see her again. Perhaps you have also walked through grief, or you are presently experiencing grief today. Grief can be a painful thing to walk through, but thankfully, God has not left us alone in our grief journey.
Instead, He helps us to know that other Christ followers have experienced precisely what we are experiencing today. C. S. Lewis is one of these people. Lewis encourages us to turn to God with our pain and find solace in His love.
Sorrow is a Process
“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).
C. S. Lewis also experienced grief after his wife, Joy, passed away. A Grief Observed is a book he wrote, detailing his experience with grief. Within this book, Lewis shares many challenging viewpoints and thoughts. He describes sorrow accurately when he says it is a process. There will not be a set endpoint of sorrow. Instead, it will be an ongoing process within the grieving process.
Throughout our own journey with grief, we must remember this truth. Our sorrow will not magically disappear one day. Since grief is the natural outpouring of love, it can continue for the rest of our lives. Never feel ashamed of your grief. Embrace your grief and sorrow and find hope in the arms of Jesus (Psalm 147:3).
The Feeling of Grief
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).
Personally, I never associated grief with fear until I read A Grief Observed. Fear is similar to grief in many ways. It does give a sense of doom in the stomach and heart. It makes you anxious, agitated, and fidgety. Grief often feels like you are trapped in a room and there is no way out. You have to sit with your feelings and accept them.
While we are sitting with our feelings, we can turn to the Lord. He is our Good Shepherd, who guides us beside quiet waters (Psalm 23:1-6). Peter tells us, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Jesus cares about the grief you are experiencing. He understands what you are going through, and He will surround you with His tender loving care.
Blessed Are Those Who Mourn
“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).
Most of us are familiar with the Lord’s words, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). This can be a challenging teaching for us as followers of Christ. How can we be blessed if we are mourning? We are blessed when we mourn because the Lord comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
C.S. Lewis expounds on his understanding of Matthew 5:4 by acknowledging that suffering is an inevitable part of life. To lose a loved one is not unique. Sadly, each of us will watch at least one loved one die during our lifetime. During these times, we must turn to the Lord and find solace in His care (Psalm 119:76). We will see our loved ones again in Heaven – allow this truth to give you hope.
The Lingering Pain of a Loved One’s Death
“The death of a beloved is an amputation” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).
In the aftermath of grief, we become aware of how much room our loved one took up in our hearts. As C. S. Lewis beautifully writes, the death of a loved one is like an amputation. A part of us is gone – and it is not coming back. If a person’s arm is amputated, it does not mean they don't need their arm anymore. Everyone needs both of their arms. However, they have to learn to cope without their amputated arm.
This is what grief is like. You have to learn how to live without your loved one. It is challenging, painful, and trying. There will be days when you will cry until your eyes are swollen, and there will be days when you will silently sit by yourself. Never feel like you have to cope alone. God is sitting beside you in this storm (Hebrews 13:5-6).
God Helps You Realize Your Faith
“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial, He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).
Grief helps us to see how much faith we have in God. C.S. Lewis found this to be true throughout his own grief. God already knew what would happen, and He also knew how Lewis would stay strong. The same is true for us. Although we may feel like our faith is crumbling after a loved one dies, we will come out on the other side stronger.
You may hit rock bottom first, but you will soar. The Bible tells us, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
Bring your grief to the Lord today. Present all your feelings to Him. Do not be afraid to be authentic with your emotions. Christ will carry the heavy burden in your heart (Matthew 11:28-30). Pray to Him, read His Word, and sit in His presence.
Praying to the Lord
If you are experiencing grief today, it would be beneficial to turn to the Lord with your feelings and emotions. We can go to Him in prayer together:
Dear Jesus, grief weighs heavily on my heart today. Thank you for guiding me after C. S. Lewis’s writings on grief. It brings boundless joy, encouragement, and hope into my heart. You are walking beside me during this time, Lord. Help me to remember that You are with me through every storm, even grief. Thank You for wrapping me in Your love. Amen.
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