Did you know that human beings say "I'm fine" an average of 14 times a week, but less than 19% actually mean it (Daily Mail)? Not only that, but according to psychologists, there are many problems with this phrase beyond untruthfulness.
Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist, notes, "While I understand that it's perhaps an attempt to convince ourselves that we are okay, it just doesn't work. It adds to depression because we are further burdened by carrying a secret and feeling misunderstood" (The Girlfriend). In a world where "I'm fine" has become a mask, what can we as the Church do to promote greater authenticity as the body of Christ?
Sadly, "I'm fine" has become one of the most lied-about sentences in Church lobbies. When someone asks, "How are you?" we're quick to reply, "I'm fine." But are we really? These few words have become camouflage for exhaustion, stress, and emotional overwhelm, and honestly, who can blame us? It's easier to convince ourselves that's how we feel and move on than to sit and unpack the chaos in our minds, right?
It's a temporary fix for a deeper-rooted issue, and while it works for the moment, what happens when a whole generation is tired on the inside, but feels pressure to pretend they're okay?
The Silent Burnout of Gen Z
According to a survey conducted by Seramount, 72% of Gen Zers experience at least one symptom of burnout, with 83% of Gen Z employees facing burnout. Not only are they reporting higher burnout rates than older generations, but their symptoms are pointing to a deeper issue: With rising anxiety, depression, chronic stress, doom-scrolling, fatigue, financial instability, relationship uncertainty, and global crises, "functional burnout" has become a state of living.
"Functional burnout" technically functions. It works well, performing adequately, and even with flying colors on the outside. But on the inside, Gen Z is breaking. Why? Because their burnout is often directly linked to a desire for authenticity. They long to reject hustle culture, to seek genuine connections with those around them, but they struggle. How can they be their authentic selves in a world full of people who look "perfect"? How can they be authentic when such shame exists around mental health struggles?
As a result, "fine" feels safer than telling the truth. Even Christian cultures struggle with being "too much," or "not enough." Being too needy for fear of being labeled "anxious," "weak," or "lacking faith." The tension between the faith we profess and the feelings we experience feels too heavy to handle. So, what can we do?
What We've Gotten Right and Wrong
First, let's examine the Church's role and identify what is right and wrong. As a body of believers, Churches typically celebrate community, prayer, discipleship, and belonging. These are excellent starts. However, we often overspiritualize matters or offer unhelpful platitudes ("Give it to God"). We mean well, but when we aren't trained in mental health, many present a harsh stigma towards things like counseling and medication.
Here's the good news: Churches don't need to be perfect; they need to care about those who are struggling. Churches don't need to fix Gen Z; they need to make space for honest conversations.
Are you up for the challenge?
3 Things the Church Can Do To Support an Exhausted Generation
If you want to make a difference in your Church community by serving those with physical or mental disabilities, including burnout, begin by normalizing struggles without shame, integrating faith and mental health as complementary tools, and creating real and restful communities.
1. Normalize Struggle Without Shame.
To normalize struggles without shame, we must act from a place of love. This means listening to hear and understand, rather than to answer, and seeking to learn. It also requires us to be honest with others and ourselves about how we truly feel.
Jesus met people in their weakness, and He never shamed them for feeling that way. No, He loved them, listened, cared, and stayed by their side, offering comfort. We are called to do the same.
You can normalize struggle without shame by speaking from the pulpit about these issues, singing songs of lamentation, and teaching from the Psalms that emphasize the importance of honesty with God.
2. Integrate Faith and Mental Health Holistically.
While step one is based on empathy and love, step two is based on knowledge, information, and learning. As important as it is to show compassionate kindness, it's equally important to learn about the experiences of those in your church. Just as we learn grief techniques to help orphans and widows, we need to be trained in mental health, too.
Being trained in mental health doesn't require getting a fancy degree, but instead becoming a layperson. You can receive training through places like the AACC, Mental Health First Aid, Mental Health First Aid USA, Stay Here, or TWLOHA, for example. Receiving these trainings as a group can strengthen your church and better equip staff and volunteers to serve.
Additional ideas include inviting Christian counselors to speak to your team, hosting monthly mental health events or chats, and offering mental health small groups where individuals can share their struggles. You don't have to do everything at once, but even one small action can make a world of difference.
3. Create Real Communities.
If we want Gen Z to feel safe enough to share how they're truly doing, we have to create environments that promote authenticity. Practically, this could involve discussing the Sabbath, offering moments of silence during the service, or conducting emotional check-ins at small groups that go beyond surface-level answers.
Creating real communities involves rhythms of rest and reflection that aren't just discussed but lived out. They don't just talk the talk, but walk the walk, and we're encouraged to do the same.
Hope for the Tired
Friend, if you're tired of trying and putting on a fake smile, I want you to know that it's okay. You can put down the mask. In fact, Jesus asks you to come as you are. Instead of pretending to be "fine," you can let your guard down. There is hope for the tired.
We don't have to fake it till we make it because Jesus says vulnerability is strength in the Kingdom of God. Remember, when we're weak, then we're firm. There is great power in weakness, vulnerability, and authenticity.
The next time someone asks, "How are you?" why don't we try telling the truth? You might be surprised at the healing power of honesty. Awkwardness might last a minute, but being real lasts a lifetime.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
