How to Go from Thinking Like a Victim to a Victor

Alisha Headley

We live in a fallen and broken world, making many of us victims. Sometimes it’s due to the sins that others have committed against us, but sometimes life just happens. The reality is that the sins of others can hurt us deeply. I’m terribly sorry if you’ve been the victim of others’ decisions and sin. I’m sorry for the tears you’ve shed, the pain you’ve felt, and the struggles you’ve had as a result. However, I also want to encourage you and remind you that God has given us the gift of grace as well as tools to help equip us to walk in victory.

We get a choice on whether or not we want to stay victimized. We can either be victims or victors of our circumstances. Another way of saying this: we are either overcome by this world or we are overcomers of this world.

Through God, He allows us to participate with Him as an overcomer. He makes this promise in John 16:33 that we must never forget. First, He warns: “in the world, you will have tribulation.” Simply put: bad things will happen. Jobs will be lost. Family members will die of cancer. Spouses will leave. Children will rebel. Those close to us will fail us. Disasters will occur. Pandemics will happen.

But Jesus doesn’t stop there. He goes on to say, “take courage.” Other translations say, “be of good cheer.” He says this because He has already overcome each one of our circumstances. Life will happen to us, but He reminds us at the end of the verse that “He has overcome the world.”

As believers, we can partake with Him and overcome the world.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Robin Skjoldborg

What Does it Mean to Be an Overcomer?

1 John 5:4-5 says “for whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” In other words, those who believe in God and put their faith in Jesus Christ are overcomers. It is our faith in Jesus that allows us to walk in life and freedom with him, not remaining caught up in the chains of worldly circumstances.

When we accept Jesus and choose to make him ruler in our lives, we receive a new nature. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!” (1 Corinthians 5:17) You see, the world appeals to our old nature as we fall victim to sin. But the Spirit appeals to our new nature. Living in the new nature promises us we live victoriously. Our new nature guarantees we will be overcomers.

Don’t miss this: you are an overcomer.

It is our faith in Jesus Christ that gives us this name.

Photo Credit: © Unsplash/sam mgrdichian

Victors Serve a God of Freedom

When we look back at the very beginning of time in the garden of Eden, God created a perfect world where freedom and perfection existed. It was His design for us to live freely in this world. The garden of Eden was a place where there was no shame, no brokenness, no hurt, and no sin.

The first recorded conversation God had with Adam was God stating that he was free.

God said to Adam in Genesis 2:16, “of every tree of the garden you may freely eat.” The Lord gave one restriction and that was to not eat “from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” This was purely for his protection. From this we see that true freedom is not the ability to do whatever we like, but rather true freedom is living within God’s good and perfect will, within the loving boundaries he sets for us.

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:6)

God’s ultimate design since creation was for us to all live and walk in freedom. Although we live in a fallen world due to the sin that took place in the Garden of Eden that day, we can still live as overcomers as we still serve a God of freedom.

Man’s Enemy Is a Defeated Enemy

While God designed us to walk in freedom, and through our faith we are overcomers, the enemy won’t ever stop reminding you of what happened to you. He wants you to stay living life as a victim, not a victor.

Perhaps you are not a direct victim of other’s sins, but you feel like a victim. You feel as if nothing ever seems to go in your favor and you’re always handed the short end of the stick. The enemy loves to discourage you. He prowls around “seeking to destroy you” (1 Peter 5:8), telling you there is no hope and you will always be this way. As a result, we begin to accept this as simply a ‘part of who we are.’

A victor is defined as a person who defeats an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition. A victim is the one defeated.

Do you know that Satan is already a defeated foe? This makes us automatically victors over him through what Jesus accomplished when he died on the cross for us.

“The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil" (John 3:8). Let’s never forget, that although Satan has freedom on the earth now, his time is limited and will be over. As Revelation 20:10 says, “the devil… [will be] thrown into the lake of fire… and will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” 

Satan might still be roaming the earth, but his power against us and God’s people is broken, and his destruction is already done. We are the victors! He is defeated!

Photo Credit: © Getty Images

Do You Want to Get Well?

Things happen to us—things outside of our control—that make us true victims. However, if we find ourselves caught in a cycle of self-defeat as a result of an ingrained mentality of victimhood, we need to make a decision, sooner or later, on whether we want to live our lives as victims or victors. Recognizing that we have the power to choose is a crucial first step. In John 5:1-5, we see how Jesus interacted with a man stuck as a victim.

Jesus met a man at the pool of Bethesda, where multitudes of people lay who were sick, blind, lame, paralyzed, and waiting for an angel to stir the water. Whoever stepped in the water first was made well from their disease or disability.

This man Jesus came across had been laying by the pool for thirty-eight years. When Jesus asked him, “would you like to get well?” the man replied saying he had no one to help put him in the pool, and every time the water was stirred, someone always stepped down before he did. Jesus then responded saying “stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” He healed him.

Can we see ourselves in this story? Have we spent our lives crippled in places where the healing or restoration we desired was just a matter of believing Christ had the power to do it? That he already has? Jesus gave the man the opportunity to say out loud what he wanted. What areas of your life do you find yourself stuck—blaming others, making excuses, covering up pain, enabling behavior—rather than fixing your eyes on Jesus and saying “yes” to his invitation to be well and whole in him?

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Say YES to Living in Victory in Christ

Why do you think Jesus asked the man if he wanted to get well? Don’t you think it’s obvious he would want to get better? One would assume so. We all want healing in some form or other, but oftentimes we are stuck. Even though we may want restoration, the work we would have to put in might just be overwhelming to us in our own strength.

This man was stuck in his situation for thirty-eight years! We can’t know this for sure, but one wonders if he could have found a way into the pool if he really wanted to?

Oftentimes we pray for healing. We pray for freedom. Yet how many of us realize that we might be more afraid of the responsibility that comes with freedom? The unknowns that riddle the landscape we step into when our chains are released? Perhaps our victimhood has become comfortable? The Israelites themselves wanted to return to Egypt—to slavery—when they were pushed to trust God in ways they weren’t comfortable with.

Perhaps you are praying for healing in your marriage, but the healing work God begins in you reveals hurt and pain you’re afraid to face. So you stall, and eventually stop. You stay where you are.

In order for you to take hold of your victory in Christ, you must be ready to say yes to his healing work. It is hard, but it is good.

God is the great physician. The One who redeems the messes in the world we live in. He is the One who makes all things possible, for “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). We can pray for wholeness, for healing, for restoration, but we also need to be obedient and say “yes” when the Healer asks you if you want to get well.

3 Steps to Taking Hold of Christ’s Victory in Your Life

1. Surrender your excuses to God

Make a list of the obstacles and excuses getting in the way of your freedom or healing. Then surrender them. Remember, surrender is active, not passive. It’s not just writing down the issue, but it’s the act of daily surrendering these problems to God. It means laying them at the foot of the cross and walking away, trusting Him to take the mess and the hurt, and receiving the fresh life and worth and power He wishes to give you.

Photo Credit: © Pexels/Joy Marino

2. Forgive the villains in your story

This might be the most difficult part. It’s so easy to blame your father, mother, ex-boyfriend, the bully in middle school, or whoever may have hurt you as the reason you are the way you are. Ultimately, it’s not people themselves who are our enemies. But it’s the sin they caused. Hate the sin, not the person. You don’t know what they went through that cause them to hurt you. It doesn’t make what they did right, but it allows us to love them anyways. Just as Jesus teaches us to “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

3. Spend the rest of your life in pursuit of God

How many years did you spend living as a victim? Thirty-eight years like the man at the pool at Bethesda? Those years certainly were not wasted, as God has a plan for those years. He says, “He works all things out for good” (Romans 8:28). But once you make the decision to live as a victor, devote the rest of your life living to in that victory.

Pursue healing. Pursue the Healer. Dig into the Word and allow His “God-breathed” words to live inside of you (2 Timothy 3:16). Surrender your life to him wholeheartedly. Every. Single. Day. Watch his Word become a “living, active, sharper than any double-edged sword,” powerful tool in your life (Hebrews 4:12).

Be Who Christ Says You Are: Victorious

Life happens. We all will share hurts. Satan wants us to believe that most of the time when bad stuff happens, we have no control, we have no recourse, we have no freedom. But remember—Satan is a defeated foe. God intended for us to walk in freedom. Because He has overcome the world through His son Jesus Christ, we are overcomers with Him through our faith.

We don’t have to be tied and stuck to what has happened to us. We can choose to get well as we walk confidently in our new nature. Let’s seek the victory that Christ paid for, and no longer be bound by anything but his love.

1 Corinthians 15:57 says, “but thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 

Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Miguel Bruna

Alisha Headley is a writer + speaker who has a desire to meet the everyday woman in her everyday life with biblical truth. Stepping into her true calling, she left the corporate world behind as a former-financial VP to love on her family as a stay-at-home wifey + dog mama, while also being able to pursue her passion as a writer. Healing from a chapter of life consumed with lies she once believed about herself, she is inspired to point women to Christ to experience the freedom + power to overcome those lies with the truth written in God’s word. In her free time, Alisha enjoys road trips around the country, working out so she can eat her favorite foods, and creatively styling her outfits with a craft for fashion. Alisha is a proud wifey and dog mama living in Scottsdale, Arizona.

You can follow her blog by visiting her website or connect with her on facebook + instagram.

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