When I was a young girl, I loved to play outside. Because my sister was significantly older than I, I often played outside alone. After playing on the swings and digging in the dirt, I went inside to wash my hands. I quickly went back outside to continue playing. I opened the screen door to my back porch. But as I turned around to get something I had dropped, the screen door closed on my hand, crushing my pinky.
As I looked, amazed at my pinky, purplish in color and throbbing with pain, I let out a blood-curdling scream. My father, curious about what was going on, helped me with my finger. He brought me to the bathroom, bandaged me up, and sealed it with a kiss. Then he sent me off to play once again.
As a child, I had a close relationship with my father. It's easy for me to go to him when I'm hurting. When I was feeling such pain and didn't know where to turn, I immediately saw my father and melted into his arms. He took my hand and brought me into the bathroom, got the bandages, and took care of my wound. He made me feel safe. I took comfort in knowing that my father knew of my pain and did what he could to manage it.
Because of my close relationship with my father as a child, it was easy for me to accept Jesus as an adult. Because we often mimic the same relationship we have with our earthly father as we do with our heavenly father, it was easier for me to go to God in my pain. As an adult, when different parts of life caused me pain: financial crises, health challenges, and loss of jobs, it was easier for me to turn to my heavenly father. In the same way, my father was a comfort to me as a child, and I take that same comfort in my heavenly Father as an adult.
Scripture tells us that we are to come to Jesus like a child. We are never to lose our childlike quality of wonder and innocence. We must go to God, trusting him for everything in our lives. Even in times of great pain and confusion, we can always go to God and trust that he will be there to help us navigate through even the most difficult situations. Here are four ways I have learned to come to Jesus like a child as an adult:
I Pour My Heart Out to Him
In that moment when I crushed my pinky, I didn't hold back my tears or my discomfort as I wailed and cried at the top of my lungs. At that moment, I had no filter. I didn't care who was around, and I didn't care what they thought of me. All I cared about was making my pain go away and allowing my pinky to heal. This is the same way God wants us to come to him. He wants us to pour our hearts out to him.
He wants us to cry out to him with no filter, rather than sending him prayers that are superficial or written prayers we learned as children. He wants us to come to him, pour our hearts out to him, and not care what other people think. He wants us to tell him everything that is going on in our lives. If we pour our hearts out to him, God will be faithful to comfort us and help us navigate through the great confusion and pain life sometimes throws our way.
I Acknowledge My Pain
Unlike the close relationship I have with my father, I was not that close to my mother. Because my mother was controlling as a child, I often felt afraid to tell her my deepest feelings. Sometimes, when I told her what I was feeling or started crying for any reason she didn't approve of, she accused me of being overly dramatic and milking my pain. I can recall times in my life when I got severely injured, yet covered it up. If my mother were the only one around at home when the incident occurred, I would often go to the medicine cabinet, get out a Band-Aid, and put it on or wrap myself without telling her. This is because I was afraid of the rejection I would feel or the verbal attack that might come my way if I told her about my pain.
Unlike my mother, God wants me to acknowledge my pain. As Christians, it is easy for us to cover up our pain and pretend like it doesn't exist. We put on fake masks, laugh, and put on a smile in the church sanctuary, and afterward go home in great pain, and no one knows the difference. God not only wants us to tell him our greatest pains, but also to surround ourselves with our brothers and sisters in Christ who will love us and help us in our pain. But this takes acknowledgment on our part to let others know how we truly feel about the situation.
I Process My Emotions
I not only acknowledge my pain, but I also process the emotions associated with the pain. If I feel deep sadness, grief, or anger surrounding a situation, I need to process those emotions because I don't carry them with me in future situations. The church does not do grief well because it involves deep human emotions; it's easy for us to cover that up because the church model is not set up for us to tell people about our pain. However, by processing my emotions, I can come away feeling more emotionally healthy.
Some people who never process their emotions carry that pain like a suitcase full of dirty clothes into their next relationships and situations. Then, when conflict arises, it's easier for them to blow up and project that onto someone without even realizing what they're doing. Although it is unintentional, by doing the work of the soul and processing deep emotions, I can come away a more emotionally healthy person and not allow my baggage to hinder my relationship with God or with others.
I Ask for Guidance
Just like a small child, I went to my father crying and telling him what had happened. Through my sobs, he was able to understand enough to know I was in pain. He took me to the bathroom and bandaged my wound. Even when I don't know what to pray, I can always pray and ask God for his guidance. I don't have to have it all together or say the right words for God to approve of me. I need to cry out to him and let him know that I'm struggling.
Just like Jesus reached out his hand to Peter when he leaped to walk on water, I can always go to God in my deepest pain. I don't have to have it all together, and even when I make mistakes, God is faithful to help me in my grief so that I can become a better person in the end.
Coming to God just like a child is a lost art. But by following the steps above, we do not have to lose our childlike wonder. Instead, we can come to him like little children who trust that their heavenly Father is there to help them when they fall.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/tommaso79
