According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Apathy is defined as “a lack of feeling or emotion.” It’s a “lack of interest or concern,” and originates from the Greek siblings, antipathy, sympathy, and empathy. Also called numbness or emptiness, it goes deeper than indifference.
Although I used to be an English teacher, I’m not here to give you a language lesson. But I am here to help you understand how and why apathy might be creeping up in your life. And not just your day-to-day life, but your spiritual life.
When faith feels flat and quiet, we find ourselves praying without emotion. We worship, but feel empty. Perhaps even Scripture doesn’t hit us like it used to. All of us, even if we don’t like to admit it, experience these times of numbness. But numbness doesn’t equal faithlessness. It doesn’t mean that God has left us, even if it feels that way. No, numbness is often a signal, not a failure.
If you’re feeling spiritually numb today, you’re in good company. Here are 3 steps for finding God amidst these feelings:
1. Stop Interpreting Numbness as Spiritual Failure
The moment we stop “feeling” God, we think we’ve failed Him. But numbness is often self-protection, exhaustion, or grief, not sin.
We’re even quick to make assumptions about ourselves:
- “Something’s wrong with my faith.”
- “God feels far because I did something wrong.”
- “I’m so worn thin, God is ashamed of my struggles.”
Instead of accepting these assumptions, we need to challenge and reframe them. Remember: emotional numbness is often a nervous system response. Our mental health and spiritual life are connected.
In Psalm 13, David, a man after God’s own heart, even felt this way:
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV).
Psalm 77, a Psalm of Asaph, a worship leader, pens similar words: “I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted” (Psalm 77:1-2, NIV).
But even amidst these feelings of despair, Romans 8:38-39 reminds us: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (NIV). Feelings don’t equate faithfulness.
Instead of ridiculing yourself or asking, “What’s wrong with me?”, try gently asking, “What might I be carrying?” Bring these requests to the Lord in a prayer, and ask Him to help you see this situation clearly. Remember: Feelings aren’t the enemy, but they can be powerful indicators of what’s happening in our lives.
2. Look for God in Presence, Not Feeling
Unfortunately, in the world in which we live, God’s presence is often measured by emotion (though it shouldn’t be). Modern Christianity has gotten really good at overvaluing feelings. But Job, Elijah, and Jesus teach us that feelings don’t equate God’s presence.
Job lost everything, but God was still with Him. Elijah felt alone and wanted to die, but God was still with Him. Jesus cried tears of anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane, but God allowed His crucifixion to happen because He knew what was on the other side. It’s tempting to equate God’s presence with feeling. Holy Spirit goosebumps and shouts, to name a few. But faith can be quiet and real at the same time. Not everyone has to, or even wants to, be an extroverted Christian, and that’s okay. Author Natalie Hilton describes it this way:
“Our faith in God should be bold, but that doesn't necessarily mean loud. Quiet moments of faith are just as important as the seen ones.”
This week, instead of judging yourself based on what you feel, try a low-pressure practice:
- Sit with one verse and read it slowly. Don’t force insight or emotion, but sit with it. Then, anchor yourself in the truth it proclaims.
- Ask God to reveal Himself to you. Don’t be surprised if it’s a still small whisper or silence. God’s presence isn’t always loud or flashy.
- Tell God that you want to feel His presence, but are open to how He may speak to you. Remember: God can be present without being loud. And His presence can be found, even in the absence of feeling.
3. Reconnect Through Honest, Simple Practices
As much as we try to hinge our relationship with God on feelings, we must remember that depth often returns through honesty, not intensity. God doesn’t want you to pretend to be something you’re not, and He doesn’t expect you to act or feel a certain way when you come to Him.
Instead of attempting a spiritual overhaul, putting yourself down, or maintaining guilt-driven routines, try short prayers, naming your emotions, breathing, walking, and grounding yourself. Don’t run from God; tell Him exactly how you feel.
In Psalm 62:1, we read these beautiful words of David: “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him” (NIV). I love this Scripture because it reminds me that regardless of what I’m feeling, God and His salvation cannot be taken away from me. Matthew 11:28-30 says it this way: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (NIV).
Friends, God desires for you to come to Him as you are, even if you’re numb and feeling spiritually apathetic. You don’t have to be ashamed, and He’s not ashamed of you. But he does ask you to tell Him exactly how you’re feeling. To invite Him into that space. To open your heart and mind honestly to how His presence might present Himself, even when feelings are lacking.
You don’t need to muster all the right words or phrases. You don’t need to feel a certain way. You need to come to Him. If this is difficult, try praying a simple prayer: “God, I don’t feel much, but I’m here.” And regardless of what you’re feeling, He’s there, and that’s enough.
Numb Doesn’t Mean Absent
No matter what you’re feeling today, I want to reassure you that God is not waiting for your feelings to return. Numb seasons don’t cancel faith. But they can lead us into a deeper relationship with Him if we run to Him amidst those feelings.
The dictionary definition of the word apathy might not change anytime soon, but God can transform our weak and weary hearts when we run to Him. You don’t need to be fearful, ashamed, or hard on yourself, sweet friend. God loves you, and He is with you even when you’re void of feeling. Seek His face today.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Akarawut Lohacharoenvanich
