Thanksgiving was one of our favorite holidays. Waking up, we could smell the turkey baking in the oven, the sound of Thanksgiving parades on the television, and could feel the anticipation of everyone gathering around a large table, our plates filled with favorite dishes that we only get once a year.
Growing up in a large family with several siblings was wonderful. Core memories were established with the hustle and bustle of holidays, rich with laughter, play, energizing conversations, and fun. There is nothing like family, especially around the holiday season.
However, as we all grew up and our individual families expanded, with more family members being added to the mix, bringing different backgrounds, communication styles, and personalities, it sometimes introduced a bit of tension and challenge to the Thanksgiving holiday environment.
Recognizing that the holidays can be stressful and family relationships challenging, we know that combining the two can be even more difficult. But Psalm 133:1 tells us, "How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!" God created family and knew that we would sometimes struggle to maintain unified relationships, so we need to turn to Him for guidance on how to live as one.
One of the first things we can do to encourage unity in our families is to pray.
There are several areas of prayer to consider when praying for unity over our families during the Thanksgiving season. We can pray for:
U – Understanding
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” - Ephesians 4:2
Pray that God would soften the hearts of family members from all generations, creating a fertile environment that welcomes connection. To understand, you must listen, not just to hear, but to learn. Take the time to learn things about each other that you didn’t know before. Listen to the stories they tell and ask questions about their lives so that you can truly begin to understand them.
Father God, we ask that you would create in us a clean heart, one that is open to your correction and clean from anything that would hinder us from accepting others. You are gentle, patient, and humble, and we strive to embody these same qualities in our interactions with others. Please give us patience and wisdom as we interact with those who may be challenging. Give us love for one another and help us to be a good example of the change in me. Please help us to understand. Amen.
N – Nurture
“Encourage one another and build each other up.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11
To nurture is to encourage and build one another up. Strive to be patient and kind, thinking about others more than yourself. Find common ground and pray that we can begin to see others through God’s eyes. Be quick to provide honest compliments and accolades on things done well. Extend grace when mistakes are made and look for the positive strengths in each person.
Father God, encourage us so that we can inspire others. Fill us up so that we can give naturally out of the overflow of our own hearts. Heal wounds that haven’t been healed and soften places that have grown hard and bitter. Please help us to build each other up, both the young children in our families and the elders we learn from. We want to strengthen the next generation in their faith and be gracious to those who walked their faith journey out in front of us. Please help us to nurture others. Amen.
I – Interaction
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” – Proverbs 16:24
To encourage unity is to be aware of the power of your words. Our interaction with one another is based on communication – both verbal and nonverbal. Our goal should be to use our words and gestures to build one another up, but to do so, we must let our words and gestures be positive. Use your words to bring encouragement, healing, and joy to those around you, even when faced with challenges.
Father God, remind us that our words are powerful. When others challenge us, help us to step back and respond as Jesus did. Let every word be uplifting, bringing glory to You. Help our verbal and nonverbal communication reflect our life of faith. We want our words to be healing, bringing our family members together, not tearing them apart. Let us not use our words to belittle others to build ourselves up. Give us wisdom in helping to diffuse challenges that may arise. We give these things to you because you are able. Help our interaction to be pleasing to You. Amen.
T – Trust
Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. Matthew 5:37
Sometimes, when trust has been broken, it can destroy a relationship for generations to come. Jesus taught us that giving your word is vital in building trust, and anything more than that is from the evil one. Trust must be earned, but you can start the process of earning trust by being honest and transparent. Stay away from gossip and treat others as you would want to be treated. Don’t let the wounds of the past ruin the unity of the family.
Father God, help us first to trust you. We know that you have placed every person in their rightful place as members of our family, and we trust that you know best. Help us behave in a trustworthy way so that we can be the example we need to be. Break down any barriers that have been placed between relationships and have caused distance and pain in the past. Create an atmosphere of safety, free from judgment and gossip, so that trust can be established and grow. We know that you are capable; please give us wisdom in this area, as it can be challenging at times. Please help us to trust and to be trustworthy. Amen.
Y – Yielding to God’s Way
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” — Ephesians 5:21
Yielding to God’s way out of obedience is key to creating an atmosphere that glorifies the Lord. Paul teaches in the book of Ephesians that submission to one another is a way to reverence Christ. To submit is to take the mindset of humility, treating others with respect. This can be difficult in strained relationships, but it begins with one person deciding to bring unity to a family by walking in obedience to the Lord.
Father God, it is sometimes difficult to submit to one another due to wounds from the past. So, first, we will submit our hearts to You because You are trustworthy. We also give you our pride, our selfish ways, and our desires. Bring them all under the submission of Christ. As we submit to you, please help us to submit to others in our family. We know that Matthew 20:16 says that the last shall be first and the first shall be last, and we ask that You bring this back to our remembrance, as we yield to Your way, not our own. Prompt us when we begin to get prideful and help us to be selfless in our interactions with others. This will help bring unity to our family and remind us of all that we should be grateful for. Please help us yield to your way, because in that, there will be peace and unity. Amen.
--------------------------
Is this easy to do? Absolutely not. It takes one-on-one time with God, asking Him to heal what needs to be healed, giving you forgiveness where things need to be forgiven, and strength to see through His eyes and love as He loves for the good of unity in the family.
As we gather together as a family around the Thanksgiving table filled with blessings, let us set aside our differences, pride, and unforgiveness, and put on love. “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” — Colossians 3:14
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Drazen Zigic
