God is the only one who can fully satisfy your core longing to hear that you are good, that you are loved, that you will be taken care of, or whatever message your personality type craves.
I used to think that if I could research something and gather as much information as possible, I would be able to make an informed decision and everything would be good. In fact, I vividly remember telling one of my daughters that “knowledge is power,” as I instructed her to learn all she could about the situation before her.
To be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t gather information to make informed decisions. What I am saying is that I was believing an internal message that I would be okay if I thoroughly educated myself on the matter before me.
I now know that I was believing an internal message based on my personality that wasn’t true.
I was depending on the information that I gathered to help me be okay and to help me move forward. In reality, is it even possible to learn everything there is to know about a subject? No matter how much information I gather, that’s not what’s going to help me feel secure and meet my deepest needs. Only Christ can do that. He is the only One who has the answers for me.
Believing these false messages that we tell ourselves as truth is something we all do without realizing it. These internal messages are connected to our personalities. Alarmingly, these messages feel like they are true.
Most of us have never stopped to acknowledge our unique internal message and call it out for the lie that it is because these messages serve us in some way. The internal messages that we believe either keep us safe, protect us from failure, keep us from struggling, or they keep us in a comfortable place.
There are nine internal messages based on the nine Enneagram personality types. Let’s look at each message, and you can determine which one resonates with your personality:
Type One’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type One, you may believe, “If I do everything right, then I’ll be okay.” What you are basically saying to yourself is, “It’s not okay to make a mistake or be wrong.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How will you always know what is correct?
How can there only be one way to do something?
Here’s the good news: Your principled nature can bring out the best in yourself and others to make the world a better place.
Action Step: Embrace yourself, people, and experiences in your life just as they are with their imperfections. Practice extending grace to experience freedom and rest.
Type Two’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type Two, you may believe, “If I help others and I am loved by them, then I will be okay.” What you are saying to yourself is basically, “It’s not okay to have my own needs and do things I want to do.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How can you measure how much another person loves you?
How can your value and worth come from other people?
Here’s the good news: Your kindness and selfless generosity reflect God’s love to others.
Action Step: Give yourself permission to have your own goals and dreams. When your cup is full, your impact on others will be greater.
Type Three’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type Three, you may believe, “If I do something important, then I will be okay.” Essentially, you are saying, “It’s not okay to not do anything.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How will you know if others truly view what you accomplish as valuable?
How will you know when you have reached what you consider “success?”
Here’s the good news: Your worth is not determined by the things you do or by what others think is valuable.
Action Step: Be who God created you to be, and express that to others apart from what you have accomplished. As a result of your authenticity, your achievements will be enjoyed at a deeper level.
Type Four’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type Four, you may believe, “If I am true to who I am, then I will be okay.” In essence, you are saying, “Sometimes I can be too much or sometimes I’m not enough.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How will you always be who you truly are?
How will you know when you have reached this place of authenticity?
Here’s the good news: You have a gift that enables you to connect with others on a deep level.
Action Step: Celebrate who you are and the value you bring to your family and friends. This will help you love yourself unconditionally.
Type Five’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type Five, you may believe, “If I learn as much as I can about something, I will be okay.” What you are saying to yourself is basically, “I can’t move forward until I know all there is to know about this subject.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How will you know when you have mastered a particular topic?
How will this knowledge meet your true needs?
Here’s the good news: You already know a lot of things that you can draw from to move forward.
Action Step: Trust your God-given instincts and be quicker to take action. This will open you up to new experiences and give you clarity to continue moving forward.
Type Six’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type 6, you may believe, “If I am completely prepared and have thought through all of the possible contingencies, then I will be okay.” Basically, you are saying “If I’m not prepared, I can’t be at peace.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How can you be prepared for every possible situation that may arise?
How can anything except Jesus give you security?
Here’s the good news: You are responsible, discerning, and capable of making good decisions.
Action Step: Learn to direct your inner committee and trust God's gift of discernment. This will help you take action with confidence.
Type Seven’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type 7, you may believe, “When I get what I want or need, I will be okay.” What you are saying to yourself is basically, “I can’t depend on anyone else to get what I want or need.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How are you able to meet all of your wants and needs by yourself?
How will you find contentment when your wants and needs are not met?
Here’s the good news: You have an awesome gift of bringing joy and building community.
Action Step: Surround yourself with people who will challenge you to notice and process even the smallest joys and sorrows in your day. This will help you feel satisfied and cherish life as it is.
Type Eight’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type 8, you may believe, “I have to remain in control and portray a tough exterior so that I will be okay.” In essence, you're saying “I can’t trust anyone else or let my guard down.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How will you know how much control is needed to feel fully protected?
How will you be able to keep anyone from letting you down?
Here’s the good news: You have the ability to show up with authority to take care of yourself and others.
Action Step: Practice letting go of your need for control and allow others to see your gentle strength. This will free you from feeling the need to show up big (and bad) in every situation.
Type Nine’s Internal Message
As an Enneagram Type 9 you may believe, “As long as everyone around me is okay, then I will be okay.” What you are saying to yourself is basically, “My peace depends on others.”
Here’s the problem with this internal message:
How can you really know that others are truly okay?
How can anyone made in God’s image only experience one emotion (gladness) all the time?
Here’s the good news: Your empathy makes you a natural peacemaker who is able to see everyone’s point of view.
Action Step: Learn to enjoy discomfort by doing something outside your comfort zone in an unfamiliar area. This will allow you to push through difficulties and boldly assert yourself.
The false messages that you unknowingly believe will never satisfy the message that your heart is longing to hear. God is the only one who can fully satisfy your core longing to hear that you are good, that you are loved, that you will be taken care of, or whatever message your personality type craves.
When you discover the unique internal message for your personality, you can begin to view it as a warning sign that pops up. Imagine you are driving down the interstate and your car begins to veer over onto the rumble strip. You hear a rumbling sound and your car begins to vibrate. Immediately you know that you need to make an adjustment to bring your car back into the center of your lane of travel. You can use this analogy with the false message that you regularly receive.
As you become more adept at noticing this false message that comes to mind, you will be able to make adjustments to bring yourself back into alignment with the truth of God’s Word and rest in your identity as God’s beloved child.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/monkeybusinessimages
Renee Bethel, author of Finding Me: A Woman’s Guide to Learning More About Herself is a Professional Christian Life Coach and a Gospel Centered Certified Enneagram Coach. She helps Christian women explore what’s possible and live in alignment with their identity in Christ and their personality so that they have purpose in their second half of life. Renee would love to connect with you on Instagram.
