9 Christians You Don't Want to Sit Beside on Sunday Morning

9 Christians You Don't Want to Sit Beside on Sunday Morning

After many years, I’ve finally uncovered the key to a healthy church-going experience: avoiding people. Not all people of course, but there are certain types of people you won’t see me hanging around on Sunday morning.

I know it may seem mean, un-Christian even! But trust me, it’s a necessity. A survival skill, of sorts. Avoiding awkward conversations, peer pressure, and distractions before, during, and after services has revitalized my whole church life.

This secret is something I’ve held very close to my heart, but now out of sheer kindness, I’m going to share with you my no-fail strategy on finding the safe zones at church.

Without further ado, here are the nine Christians you don't want to sit beside on Sunday morning.

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1. The Sneezer

These aren’t the people who sneeze into the crook of their arm. I’m talking the sneeze-directly-into-my-hand-and-then-wipe-snot-all-over-their-palms people. The Sneezer takes many forms: A mom with allergies, an old man with a common cold, or a kid with nose so runny it’s nicknamed “Old Faithful.”

The Safe Zone: While you’ll be safe from most airborne germs, you aren’t safe when it comes time to pass the peace. Make sure you put enough people in between you and The Sneezer to fill the entire minute. It’s a good idea to have a backup stash of hand sanitizer, just in case. 

 

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