Today's role for a Christian woman takes many forms working together - mom, sister, wife, home maker, career women, and more. All of these relationships demand your time and attention. At iBelieve.com we want to help you grow in healthy relationships whether you’re single and dating, newlyweds, married or widowed. Find encouragement and feel uplifted with the sharing of personal experiences from women in every walk of the Christian women’s life.
Editor's note: This is the next article in the series on 5 Christian Dating Myths. This addresses Myth #2: Any guy worth having is fearless, confident, and will know exactly how to pursue you. Read "Just Wait for God's Timing" here.
Women who long for a mature, stable Christian believer, are often led to believe in church that those kinds of guys are ‘fearless adventurers’ and ‘spiritual leaders’ who will therefore know exactly how to pursue you for dating. But is it possible that even mature, stable, great Christian men are not completely fearless when it comes to romance? Is it possible that they, like most other human beings on this earth, shy away from rejection?
Through my journey, I began to realize that a little bit of encouragement can go a long way in increasing a guys desire and confidence about pursuing me. Not encouragement in a condescending, mommy/teacher kind of way. More so, encouragement that you are actually interested in them, and that you are a safe and interesting person to approach.
You see, my passive, shy, patient demeanor was sending the message to potential suitors that I would be hard to talk to, that I wasn’t interested, or there was a high potential for failure, all of which was far from the truth. Who wants to talk to someone who isn’t interested?
How accessible and safe are you to guys? Are you approachable?
For a non-flirtatious gal like myself, here are some things that you can work to make yourself more approachable and meet more men:
Overall you are trying to plant seeds and show that you are a warm, friendly gal who might possibly bring improvement to his life if he took a risk and stepped towards you.
Though I am now married, I still practice these skills. Not to attract a man, but rather to be someone who actively acknowledges other people’s existence and tries to create opportunities for relationships. Isn’t that part of what it means to be a disciple-maker? It isn’t always easy, it takes risk, bit of discomfort and intentional effort. But the work is often rewarded by others and by the Lord!
Article ran originally on Change Your Relationship Status. Used with permission.
Kristine Sung is a Dallas Theological Seminary graduate, and a Licensed Professional Counselor in the Dallas, Texas area. For more dating thoughts and tips, read her blog Change Your Relationship Status.
Publication date: July 2, 2015