I messed up again.
I had planned to act a certain way and then I did the exact opposite in the moment.
Has this ever happened to you?
It's frustrating, irritating - and it kind of feels demoralizing. I want to act better, do better and be better. But I try, and fail.
Sometimes I look at myself and start to say, "Get it together girl. You aren't doing anything right."
But, as I see my reflection, I start to see a different reflection - the reflection of the image of Christ. A reflection of a person that he proclaims is fearfully and wonderfully made.
I see one who he created just as he wanted her to be. I see me.
And, I realize that when he looks at me, he doesn't think about me the way I do. He doesn't say the things I say to myself.
He does not look down on me and say, "Get it together, girl."
He doesn't say, "There you go - messing up again."
He doesn't say, "You're always dropping the ball."
He doesn't say, "You can't do anything right..."
This is not the heart of Jesus.
Instead, his heart says:
"Seek me and I will handle the rest."
"Trust me, I have a plan."
"When you are weak, I am strong."
"I use sinners to accomplish my plans."
"I don't call the perfect, I call the imperfect to go in my perfect way."
"You are more than a conqueror through me."
"Today you are weak, but it is exactly your weakness that will grow you."
"I knew your weaknesses when I called you and I still wanted you."
"I see your failings and I still love you."
"You are only one 'I'm sorry' away from my forgiveness."
"Shame may read on the last line, but the book is closed upon my forgiveness."
"Nothing you do can separate you from my love."
A love he is prepared to send forth through an imperfect broken vessel. Because, it is through the broken pieces that we seek him and need him to put us back together again. In this pursuit, we find his glory, his majesty and his sanctifying power.
Our weaknesses don't hold back his work.
The bottom line is I am loved. I am always in his love. I will mess up, but Jesus has risen up so that I can rise up with him as I lay it all down for him.
so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power. (1 Cor. 2:5)
I can lay down my shame, my regret, my fears, my condemnation. I don't need those things with Jesus. He paid for those things already.
I praise his glorious name! I give him all glory. Let us bow down to the one who has high and lifted as the greatest sacrifice - in the name of love. He effectively casts out all fear.
My weaknesses simply become points where his glory may be radiantly displayed - as he transforms me. In that, I can walk proud.
...I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. (2 Cor. 12:5)