Why am I So Upset?
Floating down the river again, a large knot was forming below one knee; but I didn’t want to spoil the day for everyone else. My husband nor my friends knew how scared I had been. I began to tease Deron for not coming to my rescue and tried to ignore the pain I was feeling in my toes, both knees, and my neck.
That night, I went to bed with ice and ibuprofen, and the next morning, I woke up very upset at my husband. Why hadn’t he come to help me? I couldn’t understand or control the emotions rushing with the same force of water against me the day before.
I sat down with my Bible and prayed. God, why am I so upset? I know I am being silly.
But as the day went on, I fought back tears—the pain and bruises continually reminding me of the day before. God, why am I so upset with Deron? He had been on the other side of the river, much further downstream. He couldn’t really see the trouble I was in.
Yet I couldn’t shake the deep hurt I was feeling.
And then as it often does, out of the blue, (thank you, Holy Spirit) Scripture
came to my mind: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9
The verse just seemed to “pop into my head.” Over the years, I’ve learned to stop and listen when this happens.
God, are You telling me, once again, that I can’t trust my own heart? Could my emotions over the episode the day before be misdirected?
Truth, living water, began to wash my mind. I realized I was allowing the enemy to use old wounds to make a situation much bigger and more upsetting than it should be.
I knew the Holy Spirit was reminding me to take every thought captive, and that as I did, I could tear down the enemy’s arguments and extinguish the fiery darts assaulting my thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5
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