I think it's because I was raised with an older brother that I learned at a very early age that playing with girls is hard work. I was five, and my friend and I were having a tea party [because that's what little girls do]. She poured the imaginary tea, and I set out our pretend chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. We were giggling and laughing until out of nowhere, she got mad at me. My little girl mind immediately wondered why.
Her reason was obvious, even to me: I didn't want to be the "mom," I wanted to be the "dog." She didn't approve. According to my friend, dogs couldn't attend tea parties.
After learning the news from my friend, I slammed my teacup down and said, "This is stupid! I'm going to run in the alley with the boys." Mad, I marched my way through the dirt all the way to the fence gate that led to the alley. I could hear my brother and his friends laughing, running and cheering. The alley was fun. The tea party was drama.
The truth is, even as a grown woman I tend to want to run in the alley rather than play tea party with the girls. I'm anything but a tomboy, but I admit that I get bored with the drama that women bring to each other.
But though my instinctive nature is to run from bossy tea party attendees, I have realized over the years that I do need women as friends. I'm happy to say that because I have opened up my heart to them, I have experienced beautiful friendships that have taught me some valuable lessons on staying sane through friendships with women. Here are a few nuggets those friendships have brought...
˜Room to breathe is a gift. While I love my friends, I'm not a person that needs to talk to my friends everyday. Some people are, and I get that. But we all have to make room for each other's personalities and needs. A friend who doesn't take distance personal is priceless.
˜Trust is a must. Let's just say it -- there's nothing worse than a person who has a big mouth. Being able to trust your friend as well as them being able to trust you is the most valuable aspect of relationships. Value your friendship and the trust you've worked hard to build and remember that when you are tempted to share something that is private.
˜Seasons come and seasons go. While this has been the hardest lesson I've learned in friendships, I've come to accept [rather than mourn] that there will be seasons of life when I will be closer with some friends and not so close with others. While we struggle through different aspects of life the fact is, sometimes we will grow apart.
Friendship is truly a gift from God. But we can't ever expect a friend to fill a void in our life that only God can. We also have to know that perfection is only attainable for God -- friends will let us down and we will let them down.
The old saying is true; to have a friend...you must be a friend. And while sometimes friendship may feel like a risk, it's one well-worth taking. You'll never regret the memories, heartfelt moments and making a difference in someone's life. Find that friend you need, and never let those bad friendship experiences ruin your tea party.
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Nicki Koziarz is a girl who is learning to live for today rather than tomorrow. She wishes that summer never ended, and she believes that a girl can never have too many necklaces. She blogs about her very imperfect life at www.nickikoziarz.com
© 2010 by Nicki Koziarz. All rights reserved.