Emily began writing short stories and poetry as a little girl, entered the blogging world in her early 20's, and recently released her first book, Yielded in His Hands (eLectio Publishing). She enjoys being a stay-at-home momma while still being able to freelance write. Believing she has been forgiven of much, she loves much, and desires to point others to Christ and His redemptive and transforming power. If you would like to connect with Emily or learn more about her book, you can visit her website: www.emilyrosemassey.com
I figured most of you wouldn't mind if I just wrote very "stream of consciousness"-esque today.
It's much easier for me these days, it seems.
Little sleep and working long and late retail holiday hours have left me a tad burnt out for much creativity.
I'm hoping that this writer's block season is almost over because, jeezo peet, I miss it.
A part of me was willing to say "good-bye" or at least "see ya next time" because it has seemed like such a struggle to even sit down with any ounce of writing inspiration. I have been wondering if my writing season was coming to an end and the Lord wanted me to focus on using another gift.
But what if there is no outlet for any of my talents?
Man, it's been like this for awhile. At least I've always had a place to write. My blog gave me somewhat of a platform and influence, even if it was small.
The more I reflect upon this void feeling, the more I wonder if this is the working of the Potter as He molds me and changes my heart's desires even more to sound like His heartbeat.
But it seems quiet around here.
The question that I can't seem to escape has been:
What if this whole time He has been stripping me from identities that were not how He truly sees me?
I know that because of my lack of productivity I have had to learn to just be and most importantly, just be His daughter. This is a lesson that has come with many tests, and I admit that I have failed several times. The Lord just keeps the opportunities a'coming to pass and move onto the next level. But when will that ever happen?
Formlessness is what this is called. I'm in process. I'm on the wheel. I've been on the wheel. For a long time it seems.
I haven't been able to hold onto any label or (mis)identification for many months, you guys.
I used to be Emily Rose Mollet- actress, singer, dancer.
Then I became Emily Rose Massey (seven years ago today, actually)- worship leader, writer, youth pastor, singer/songwriter, author, speaker
Besides my often forced hand at writing and occasionally leading a women's Bible study once every 6-8 weeks or so, I don't do any of those things anymore.
I'm not really any of those things anymore.
But here's the kicker...
...I NEVER truly was any of those things. I am a daughter of the Most High God! That's the only identity that matters, right? That's the greatest position I will ever stand in, right?
Although I would have told you straight to your face that my identity is not in what I do, I don't know if I whole-heartedly believed that.
And that is why I think the Lord has had to strip me down where I do none of those things, with absolutely no opportunities in sight to even attempt them, or having very little desire or passion left in me to attempt doing any of those things at all and not much grace to accomplish them.
I'd love to tell you that because I haven't been allowed to busy myself that I have had powerful encounters with Jesus every day during my quiet times while my son napped. Sometimes that was the case. But more often than not, I wrestled with this issue of mis-identification, asking God why, when, how...
...wondering what this sense of void really was all about and if it would ever go away.
Maybe today is the day I stop resisting His hand and yield to it. Funny I say that, considering the title of my book, Yielded in His Hands.
[bctt tweet="I know who I am called to be. And most important, whose I am called to be." via="no"]
Yes, I'm in process on this Potter's wheel, but I know the end result is quite a masterpiece.
Until then, I'm on a search to discover this true identity as God's daughter and allow Him to rid my heart of any mis-identification.
Check out more of my blogs on www.emilyrosemassey.com! Also, visit my website for more information on how to stay connected with me, as well as info about my book Yielded in His Hands- now available on Amazon.com!