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why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/10/2008 11:07:11 PM
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erjolly
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Joined: 7/10/2008
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As a child I was not raised as a christian, or in any religion. I remember being at my grandmas funeral in a church, when i was 3 though i didn't really understand what was going on. And I went to preschool in a church basement, I don't remember much about preschool. I do remember being in the sanctuary once though, and I remember it was big, and I can almost remember how it smelled. I guess i'm stating this to explain how little I had experienced in reguard to church. The first time i actually went to church was my freshman year in college, and here i am 3 years later closer than i have ever been, but consumed by stuggle and sadness.
As a child I remember praying to God all the time. He was my friend, and thats how i talked to him. When no one else seemed to understand me he seemed to. When I experienced loss, He was who I went to. And though he never brought those things I'd lost back into my life, I never really expected him to, and I never doubted that he listened and he cared. He helped me get through it when I couldn't tell anyone else the guilt i felt. In my room at night I'd sit and I'd pray, like I was talking to a friend, and I'd feel safe. I remember doing this for years. Gradually I talked less and less though, the world became more complex. I remember praying when i was 10 and my mom coming into my room and laughing at me for it. I'd never really thought about it being something I did in secret before then, but afterwards it became more of a secret. Until it became so infrequent I hardly ever prayed.
College only made it more difficult, and even though I was finally searching to put a name to God and figure which teaching went with what I believed about him, praying was nearly impossible becasue I never had time to be alone, and I didn't have close friends to talk to it about.
For the past 6th months I've been going to church regularly, and I've started reading the bible, and just about anything else about God that I can find. And it all makes sense. Sometimes all I want to do is read more, reading the bible though I've never read it it just seems so familiar. But at the same time, I don't know if its anxiety about actually making a decision about what I believe in, or fear I'm doing it for the wrong reasons, but I've been struggling a lot. I believe what I read in the bible and I believe in Jesus. But I just don't know if i can really believe. I suffer from pretty sever depression, and I've been trying to look to God to help me with it, as well as my counselors, but I feel like I've forgotten how to pray. Andd i just was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of trouble?
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 12:26:24 AM
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delete123
Posts: 793
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: online
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Welcome Er Jolly~
The bible distinctly states that No one really knows how to pray to God. So however you want to pray is fine as long as you do.
The Good news is we have the Holy Spirit that intervenes and speaks to God on our behalf through your spirit when you don't have the words to say. Isn't that Awesome?!
May I ask? Have you asked Jesus to be your personal Saviour Lord and Friend? See Romans 10:9-13 (if you haven't.
One of my favorte pslams is 51 which talks about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not only great for the person who you forgive, but is also good for you.
You haven't stated why you are depressed, do you know what is troubling you or causing it? The book of Job is a great book to read, he went through a lot of trials and God blessed him abundantly.
You can read these tonight if you are still reading your posts and hopefully they will help you
II Corinthians 1:3-5 and Romans 8:26-28
There are many here who can give you great help, but you need to help us understand you better.
I will pray for you
CRH
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 12:38:16 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1670
Joined: 9/26/2007
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Take heart, Erjolly - there are two kinds of people in this world: those who are spiritually dead and those who are alive, feel the pull to God, and struggle. As believers I think we all struggle. Our sin nature bugs us, the world hates God, and there is spiritual opposition.
You say you believe in Jesus - what do you believe about Jesus? That He lives, that He is God, that He died to pay for your sin? Then that is all you need to get started. God doesn't teach us everything at once, but the basics are these.
I remember around age 7 wondering if people were basically good or bad. My family never discussed things like this, so I shelved the question as unanswerable. It was 20 years later that I finally learned the truth, and that Christians talk about this kind of thing all the time (answer: people are bad - they are sinners - and God paid the price and gives the power to not sin but freedom to be good). If we come to God for the wrong reason, He'll straighten us out in His good time. The fact that we come at all proves God is drawing us to Him. Unsaved people don't want God and are incapable of wanting Him.
Depression often comes from a sense of loss. We can help by getting wise counsel, and, funny enough, exercise helps us feel better for hours. Go find a good church that teaches the Bible (avoid the cults) and have the pastor counsel you. If he can't find someone who can.
God bless you, Erjolly. I am praying for you today.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 12:45:10 AM
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margieb711
Posts: 102
Joined: 7/11/2008
From: Eagan MN
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quote:
For the past 6th months I've been going to church regularly, and I've started reading the bible, and just about anything else about God that I can find. And it all makes sense. Sometimes all I want to do is read more, reading the bible though I've never read it it just seems so familiar. But at the same time, I don't know if its anxiety about actually making a decision about what I believe in, or fear I'm doing it for the wrong reasons, but I've been struggling a lot. I believe what I read in the bible and I believe in Jesus. But I just don't know if i can really believe. I suffer from pretty sever depression, and I've been trying to look to God to help me with it, as well as my counselors, but I feel like I've forgotten how to pray. Andd i just was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of trouble?
I can relate to the going to church regularly (became a Christian on June 1) and reading the bible (like a fox!) and additional books that might help to understand God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit more. I also suffer from depression. I take each day, day by day and small steps. I try to remember to ask God for courage & strength to do whatever I can that day. Some days just sitting and reading the Good Book makes me happy & hopeful that I have this great friendship with God & Jesus. Before I found Christianity it was near impossible to function on any level except to be sleeping all the time, angry at the world for getting in my way and sad at how people treat one another too and more sad at myself for getting angry at other people who I'll never see again.
But now it's just one step, one day.
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 2:01:37 AM
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BibleL7
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Within you own mind or to your self just start talking to the Lord. Start with just saying hi to your Heavenly Father and just talk to Him about anything that comes to mind. Always address Him as Heavenly Father or Father in heaven or Lord or just God. See it does not need to be verbally expressed all the time. You can just quietly say "Lord help me". When you are alone then by all means talk to Him verbally or even in whisper if you are not totally alone. He hears and He can read our minds.
You can read the account in Genesis where Abraham's servant is sent to get a wife for Isaac. Pay attention to the part where the servant relays his account of his prayer here is the verse
45 And before I had made an end of speaking in mine heart: behold Rebecca came forth, and her pitcher on her shoulder, and she went down unto the well and drew. And I said unto her give me drink.
Note he said before I made an end of speaking in mine heart.
Not all prayer needs to be verbalized. Also read Matthew Chapter 6 and note the model of prayer Jesus gave. It is a model saying who we pray to, giving honor to Him, realizing His Sovereign will and supplication and honoring Him. Is something to help start. As you pray it will become easier to pray. the old adage practice makes perfect comes to mind. Prayer is something you just have to start and continue to do, we always need lots of practice in praying.
Note that I said praying will get easier not life or anything else we are promised trials and tribulations as believers some times it is easier to get through with His help and some times not. But we can only get through with His help. And as the previous post states it one step and one day at a time.
Oh and I will also say begin singing His praises regularly just pick some praise songs and learn them and sing them where ever and when ever.
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 7:52:19 AM
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timf
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why does faith go from being so easy to so hard?
Hebrews 12:2
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
A lot of times we turn from simple faith (trust) in Jesus to trust in our church or trust in ourselves. The book of Galatians was written to a group of Christians who got off track and had allowed their faith in Jesus to get turned to faith in what they could do.
A Christian will face many temptations, tricks, and trials. Through these we learn to keep coming back to Jesus. We get our faith from Jesus and our faith grows to completion in Jesus. Almost all of the difficulties we experience in the Christian walk come from when we "take our eyes off Jesus". Each time we return, we are made more certain of His ability to care for us.
Satan has crafted a world that operates on the principle of "fast, cheap, easy". It seems attractive especially to those who are weary. However, we need to remember the words of Jesus;
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 9:07:50 AM
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e.barrett
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First I think it's just exciting that you're asking these kinds of questions erjolly. So many people live their entire lives never wondering what it means.
Secondly, as others have said, I think part of faith is simply struggling through doubt and fear. I went to church a good 2 or 3 years before I really allowed myself to believe. On an intellectual level I could "get" Christianity, but at an emotional, commitment level, I simply couldn't believe. I was filled with too much pride in my own knowledge. I convinced myself that science was the only way to know anything.
And it took years for me to work through that. But because I did, I now have an infinitely stronger faith than if I had never asked the questions in the first place.
I believe God loves our honest questions about him, and he is always looking to provide us with more proof. I hope, and pray, that that's what you'll discover as well!
_____________________________
R3 - a blog devoted to understanding how to live out a life of faith
Visit it at www.r3blog.net
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/11/2008 4:04:17 PM
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terryjohn
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Yes it is all too easy to be depressed and that is normal for even those who have experienced Gods glory. When I was at bible college, I would spend days and nights reading scriptures, thories, theologies and many books to complete assignments and while they were far too interesting, I had to force myself to stop and go for my ritual walk around the block to be with Christ.
I remember someone telling me that they had preached at a church and on the pulpit from which they preached the church members had written, "We would see Jesus." as if to remind the preacher that the point of all his words should be not to pound out doctrines but to help them see Christ. Hence, in all my studies as important and as interesting as they were, were a drain on my soul and only time with Christ could refresh it.
The world and business do wear us down and we do have to be forceful by taking our selves aside daily to be restored by time with Christ.
I am always encouraged by the verse that says, Since the time of John the Baptist, the kingdom of God has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold to it. Like in a good movie, I see myself beaten down and dying but still stubbonly reaching for that sword of faith and Chirst for I will not die without them. If I hear one thing from God it is; "Be strong and couragous!". Now that may sound harsh for those of us who are struggling, but as I have learnt, it does not mean try in our own strength to be so but rather it is a creative command in the same sense He says, "Let there be light!"
I feel it is time we all as someone, somewhere suggests, begin to take our plows and other daily tools and beat them to fashion them into the whole armour of God. In the end, having done this, we need to stand in faith and beat swords, spears against shields making a wonderous noise at the coming of our King and run to keep up with the advances His kingdom has already won.
Sorry if this sounds unreal but they are a reality, if you could but desire them.
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/12/2008 7:38:38 PM
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Bridgitt
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quote:
why does faith go from being so easy to so hard?
Because as we mature in Christ so does our faith in Him.
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/13/2008 1:16:06 AM
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OneJohn410
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Hi Erjolly,
Try this one out... I was looking for a different Bible passage, but found this one. I'm looking at Ephesians 6:10-18 about the whole armor of God.
Faith in that passage is the shield of faith, which stops the fiery arrows of liar. Now, let's share that passage with a small kid. Oh, cool! Swords and shields and beat the enemy. That same kid grows like a weed, and interests and hobbies are changing weekly maybe. It could still be a cool passage, but what's happened? The kid needs larger sizes of everything, there's more responsibilities, more to learn, more temptations. That shield of faith gets a little heavier because it's got to cover more kid. All the time, a soldier for Christ has got to be ready to go into battle, and the whole armor has to be ready.
I know this could be pretty DUH! to read, but I also think this is what I'm facing, and what you are as well, that the shield of our 3-year old self just ain't gonna be enough for us when we are 20 or so years old- that the muscle needed to lift up Goliath's sword and do the deed needs to be there, and also that to hold up a nice 20-pound shield off the ground for as long as is needed.
Keep workin' it, brother. You are right in the middle of things in the testing of your faith, and the harder you feel it getting is surely in no small part due to liar- seeking to convince you you've got nothing. I'm in prayer you find a college ministry fellowship or local church that welcomes you without force-feeding you how you should believe. Keep your eyes on Jesus, I'm standing with you in prayer on this.
A brother in Christ,
OneJohn410
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/13/2008 1:16:31 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 783
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
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quote:
ORIGINAL: erjolly
Gradually I talked less and less though, the world became more complex.
I think you answered your own question. As we get older, the world, and our views of it do get more and more complex.
The faith one may have as a child is soon grown out of as the world tries to separate us from God. Our own intelligence sometimes gets in the way, even though it shouldn't. Other peoples opinions of us start to take on more weight than the opinion of God, even though they shouldn't. As we try to fit in, we lose track of one very important fact, that we are not made to fit in. We are like aliens on this earth, searching, and yearning to go home.
The world has many theories, and many ideas, that start to look attractive as we get older. Like, why be a servant when you can be the own God of your life. A simple question with a simple answer, which is, my life with me being in control is doomed for failure. I may become a billionaire, I may be famous, I may be admired by millions, but in the end what does a man gain if he loses his soul. All of the success the world has to offer, is worth nothing in comparison to your soul.
My point is that where you are in your life is ok. It is ok to test your faith. Do not feel bad for doing it, but be happy you care enough to do it. More importantly, remember that God is right there waiting for you so He can show you just how real He is.
quote:
ORIGINAL: erjolly
As a child I remember praying to God all the time. He was my friend, and thats how i talked to him. When no one else seemed to understand me he seemed to. When I experienced loss, He was who I went to. And though he never brought those things I'd lost back into my life, I never really expected him to, and I never doubted that he listened and he cared. He helped me get through it when I couldn't tell anyone else the guilt i felt. In my room at night I'd sit and I'd pray, like I was talking to a friend, and I'd feel safe.
With how you described your relationship with God, I would be doing everything possible to try and get that back. We should all try to have a relationship with Him, like the one you describe here. I have to say though that you are never too busy to pray to Him. You are never too busy to talk to Him. He is always with you, waiting to hear what you have to say. You don't have to be alone to pray, or in a quiet place, because He is right beside you at all times. Just open up to Him, talk to your old friend like times have never changed. That is my advice. Good luck to you, and may God bless you and keep you.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: why does faith go from being so easy to so hard? - 7/13/2008 9:01:55 PM
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ConstantReader
Posts: 158
Joined: 1/28/2008
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Consider growing in faith like weight-lifting. If you never up the weights, new muscle won't grow. If trials and tribulations never come in your life, you won't grow in faith.
_____________________________
Long days and pleasant nights.
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