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venting over stepdaughter issues - 5/1/2008 12:02:06 AM
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lflemin4
Posts: 5
Joined: 4/25/2005
From: Tampa
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My 9yo stepdaughter told me a couple days ago that she was going to enter a spelling bee contest at her school. She's not very good at spelling yet, but I was happy that she was interested in doing this. I told her I'd be happy to help her study for it, and mentioned a website that helps kids learn their spelling homework as a good resource for her. Well, tonight I asked hubby if he knew when her spelling bee was going to be. He told me that she wasn't going to do it. He said she says it's "not her thing." I said, "But she just told me a couple days ago that she was planning on entering the spelling bee." I said that she must have realized it was going to require some effort on her part, and she decided to quit. I also said that we shouldn't be making it so easy for her to have a 'quitter's attitude'. He said, 'Oh she probably just changed her mind', and acted like it was no big deal.
We both know that she's the type of kid to quit things she finds difficult. I think something should be said to her to encourage her to try things even if they seem difficult. Should I say something to her, or just let it be?
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy or boast, isn't proud or rude, isn't self-seeking, or easily angered. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
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RE: venting over stepdaughter issues - 5/1/2008 12:55:30 AM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 612
Joined: 7/13/2007
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Just a heads up but this will probably be redirected to the parenting thread.
How long have you been married to her dad? How do you usually handle parenting issues?
Just off the top of my head (without more info) I think you should just let it go. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. We all change our minds about things now and then. And if her dad says to let it go I'd let it go.
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RE: venting over stepdaughter issues - 5/1/2008 5:55:53 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 2941
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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You will see alot of seesaw decisions for the next few years. We have a drum set upstairs. We bought it when our young man was sooooooooooo interested in drums. Tried if for a few months and decided it wasn't his thing. But when he did latch onto something that clicked, hard work or no, he went after it with more passion. Does he get lazy sometimes? Assuredly.
To bring this back to marriage, you should discuss this behind closed doors with your husband. A little chit chat about expectations would go a long way to avoid future possible disagreements. It would have been nice if one of them had to you earlier that she had changed her mind then you might not have looked out of step, but be gracious and just let them know it is alright to tell you these things. And then prove it with your actions by not making a big deal out of smaller issues. Now it had been breaking a promise, that is a differant issue than simply changing one's mind.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: venting over stepdaughter issues - 5/1/2008 7:34:35 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1793
Joined: 5/23/2006
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How long have the two of you been married and what is the agreed upon arrangement on decision making with the stepdaughter?
Based on what you said alone I would say let the dad handle it..unless there is more to the story then you are saying I too wouldn't see it as a big deal my daughter decided not to do an extra school related activity.
I don't see how a nine yr old choosing not to enter a spelling bee is a "quitters attitude"..can you explain what made you think that?
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RE: venting over stepdaughter issues - 5/1/2008 8:20:00 AM
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Kath
Posts: 17136
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
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Hello and welcome to forums!
You started this same thread in parenting. Starting the same thread in more than one area is considered spam and a violation of our Terms of Service.
Since parenting is the proper folder for this topic, this thread is closed. Please continue the discussion here
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