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ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga

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Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time!

Cute! May I borrow that? [:D]

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ORIGINAL: bzirk

I guess after reading the posts (includings links) in this thread and others in the past and really thinking about my approach, I don't arbtirarily think spank or don't spank. I don't think it's that simple. Oh, I don't rule out spanking, because I might need it. But bottomline for me is that I don't think there are any formulas, because people are not all alike. Or maybe I'm just one of those parents who doesn't have their act together.

Frankly, I thank the good Lord for my wonderful children. No, I'm not saying I haven't had to do things, but I have never felt presumptuous or audacious enough about parenting to say that I know all the answers or even a goodly number. I honestly don't, my friends. I am on my knees often asking for the Lord's wisdom concerning my children.

Meanwhile, my kids are not what anyone would think of as bad kids. They are pretty good kids. They are thoughtful and kind kids. They constantly surprise us with their thoughtfulness and kindness and ability to read situations. Sometimes they aren't as diligent as an adult, but I figure that's because they're kids. LOL! However, I do expect them to reach the diligence of an adult.

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ORIGINAL: NannyKat

OK.. in regards to Jonah in the whale, (which actually, no-one knows if it was really a whale, but a big fish, as explained by a former Baptist religion professor) at the time that happened, Jonah was an adult. He was old enough to make rational logical decisions, that young children are unable to make themselves, which is why they need parents to guide them! Clearly, a young child has very little sense of logic, thus limiting his or her ability to make adult choices. A 3yo thinks nothing of sitting in the sandbox making chocolate pizza with blue macaroni. To her, it makes perfect sense. Likewise, a toddler also thinks nothing of stuffing her daddy's socks down the commode to "do the laundry!" But how is she to know that it will cost $100 bucks to call the plumber? She just thinks it's neat to watch the wet stuff go round and round and get stuck!

Logic and rationalization is something that is gradually developed over time, and I don't think we can or should expect our children to have adult values. I think we need to set them up for success (ie child proof the potty, for example!)until they are developmentally ready to handle adult ideas and decisions. We have to be careful in how we define the term "sin".

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ORIGINAL: NannyKat

Lisa, same here. I know this is a tricky subject and I do not want to create enemies within this site. But just being honest in what I believe. I don't wish for any of my posts to come across as an attack on anyone here.

That said, I did want to add another link that people might find interesting. www.nospank.net/swan.htm

It is about how the United Methodist Church has made a formal statement against spanking as well.

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spanking is neither evil nor the only righteous thing to do.

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ORIGINAL: Sunnymom

Nanny,

I appreciate you posting those links. I have read them before, and they have some great insights. The problem is that they only go as far as they wish to go in order to support their own beliefs. They have to spiritualize too many passages that were meant to be taken literally, and they give results of studies done on children that were spanked, but don't give the details of those studies. Most of the repercusions fo spanking that are given on the one website are all about children who were beaten and abused, not children who were spanked.

What some wish to ignore is that there is a proper way to spank that is not yanking the kid up by their arm, nearly dislocating their shoulder, and giving them whacks across their behind and back with the hand or a switch.

There are many ways that a parent can teach and train children, and spanking is just one of many things that parents can use. It is not the only means of discipline, as evidenced by the many and varied ways that God deals with us. But make no mistake- God did and does use physical punishment as a means of chastisement. Not to teach this to our children is to not fully do our duty in their spiritual training.

What bothers me is that parents who try to properly train their children using spanking are said to hit and abuse their children, but parents who let their kids sit for hours in front of a tv watching filth or playing an XBox, drinking soda and eating junk food are not considered abusive. Every time I see a really fat kid, I wonder what that parent thinks they are doing.

Why do people their knickers in a twist about spanking, when there are truly harmful ways that parents abuse their children?

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ORIGINAL: Sunnymom

When I use the term 'the proper way to spank' I am not going to cite a verse that says "Thou shalt use a rod of birch wood, 1" in diameter, and apply to the hindside of a child no younger than 1 year and no older than 12."

There are some verses that get 'spiritualized' that are meant to be taken literally- some uses of the word 'stripes' for example. There are Scriptural principles that can be applied when teaching and training children- like the right and wrong kinds of anger, and how to control it, when to lower the boom, and when to show mercy- and when to let them reap some consequences.

Corporal punishment done properly is w/o anger, it is thoughtful and purposeful, and the goal to any form of punishment is to deter from harmful action, as well as to restore fellowship with repentance. That is the 'proper way to spank'.

Sorry you think it is acceptable for children to be obese. I didn't say chubby, I didn't say pudgy- I said 'really fat'. Parents who don't make sure that kids eat properly and get enough exercise, are, in my opinion, setting their children up for an unhealthy life and most likely early death. Do you think that is wrong, or offensive to say? Why? Because I used the word 'fat'? Should I have said 'horizontally challenged'?

As parents we can use so many things to teach our kids lessons of life, and spiritual lessons as well. These lessons are pint size versions of the 'real thing'. Considering the fact that God used leprosy, famine, plagues, pestilence, war, and striking people dead without two weeks notice, I think a swat on the behind is in perfect porportion to the possible reaping that a child left to himself could experience.

Who is going to define 'abuse'? Like Lisa said, some might think sending a child to bed without dinner is just horrible. I think that not teaching a child self control, and to respond to the parent's voice immediately and w/o quesion is negligent. Wanna guess how many non-spanking parents I know that have to tell their kids the same command over and over and over? How many cars does it take to turn a kid into road pizza?

I am not anyone's enemy here. I may strongly disagree with someone's opinion, but that does not mean that I think anyone is 'a bad person'. Feel free not to spank- you have to decide what your children need, and I don't know your children, or your household dynamic. I think spanking parents deserve the same- we are using the methods that God has led us to use with our children. Spanking is just one of many things I use to teach and train my kids.

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momof2anddog said:
Not to get off topic too much, but there are many reasons for childhood obesity. Why are you making the judgement that an obese child is suffering from parental neglect??

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parents who let their kids sit for hours in front of a tv watching filth or playing an XBox, drinking soda and eating junk food are not considered abusive.

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Parents who don't make sure that kids eat properly and get enough exercise, are, in my opinion, setting their children up for an unhealthy life and most likely early death.