Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (Full Version)

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Fritzpw_Admin -> Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:14:10 PM)

Welcome to the one stop thread on the topic of marriage after divorce.

Please join the discussion as the thread takes us through the topic of marrying after divorce.

Is it ok to get married when one is divorced?

Should a person who has been divorced and since re-married be allowed to serve as pastor/deacon/elder/minister/etc.?



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:25:37 PM)

Is it ok? Yes.

Should they be allowed to serve in leadership? Yes.



tyrubonchi -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:27:42 PM)

I'll let God answer this one.....



momfree -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:30:00 PM)

I agree with neuron that it is. A lot of cases anyway. (maybe not all?)

Anyway...is it ok? yes is it wise? sometimes. Is it always desirable? In my case NOPE LOL

Granted, I may sing a diff tune a few years from now....i always wanted a desitnation/beach wedding ;)

Problem would be finding the groom that's worth the wedding plans, not to MENTION the lifetime marriage! LOL

Sorry, had to add a little humor to what undoubtedly will turn into the ugliest thread on the face of crosswalk



QueenM -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:31:28 PM)

People, even some Christians, are going to do what they want to do anyway. But I believe that the only biblical justification for divorce is when ones spouse commits adultery and is unrepentant, or when an unbeliever chooses to leave. And in both cases, yes I believe that remarriage is okay.

If someone were divorced for the above two reasons, then yes, they should be allowed to serve in any and all levels of the church. However, if their divorce was not because of the above, I believe that roles as Pastor, Deacon or Elder should be left voluntarily unpursued.



hnt -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:35:33 PM)

quote:

Sorry, had to add a little humor to what undoubtedly will turn into the ugliest thread on the face of crosswalk


LOL yes it will be interesting!



Keabird -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 3:55:25 PM)

Just came on here for the first time today ... had to smile when I saw this thread! So maybe not so ugly after all.

Actually, I think the question may be a little more specific. In fact, I will divide it into two questions.

Perhaps one of the real questions is, if someone recognizes that they have divorced wrongly, and/or remarried wrongly, should they reunite/separate? That is the hard one to answer. I believe that because every situation is different, that it comes down to a personal decision and guidance between the person concerned and God. Because God has forgiven the sin - it's a case of "what do you want me to do now, God?"

The other question is, should someone in the above situation be allowed into church leadership?
My answer to that is another question - if someone has confessed sin and been forgiven, are we holding their past sin against them if we disallow them from being in leadership? A sin that God Himself does not remember?

I personally think that if someone has confessed sin, and is obviously living for the Lord, meeting the criteria of the Bible in the sense of being well-spoken of by outsiders, managing family well, and being honest about the grace and mercy shown to them by God, then there is no reason why they should not be in leadership. After all, none of us are perfect, so are any of us really "good enough" for leadership ... God will use whom He will use.

Sherri [:)]



tinasdad -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 10:27:43 PM)

Well, it looks like the simple post that I started got everyone so crazed that it is now locked and I can't reply to all the questions that everyone has for me. First, I wish to thank those who have encouraged me to search for God's will in this matter and not listen to any human being. This is what I have tried to do from the begining and in much the same way that I felt convicted by God that I was a sinner in need of a savior and put my trust in Jesus, I felt convicted by God's word in this matter. For any of you that are married and don't feel that you are joined spiritually to your spouse...that your wife was made by God Himself just for you....that this bond can never be broken...I feel sorry for you if you lack this.

I look at this as several different issues. First, is my second marriage adultery? Yes it is. Jesus says so and that is good enough for me. There is no forgiveness without repentance, right? I should have stayed single after my wife divorced me but I didn't. Why? Because I was angry and bitter. Why? Because someone that I loved very much rejected me. What will my 1st wife do? That is up to her. For those who say that I would be hurting my 2nd wife and children involved, don't you think that I would suffer also?..that I AM suffering as I work through this? This is the toughest decisions that I have ever had to make. By the way, I know a heck of alot about divorce so any of you that say that I don't know about pain just back off. None of you know anything about me or the hell I have been through so just back off. But also, if it was too painful for Paul, and Peter and John and every other Christian to do what is right none of us would sign up for this gig. Anybody want to sign up to be a missionary in Columbia? Might hurt your family if you die at the hands of some whackjobs...how selfish! I really don't care what any of you who have attacked me think of me. As a matter of fact, the fervor and hostility that I have gotten has actually made me think more about why folks are so crazed than their message. The people who really do care and have encouraged me, I thank you again and your love and Christ can be seen through your patience and encouragement to study the word and pray over this.



TimothyTwo226 -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 10:33:57 PM)

quote:

Might hurt your family if you die at the hands of some whackjobs...how selfish!


Big difference between this and divorce.

Divorce is premeditated pain/destruction...

Missionary work is done out of love for the Lord/people...

Divorce is done out of idolatry, i.e. selfish love...


Also...be sure to verify what God's word says over what you "want" to hear.....sometimes we like to rationalize what we want to hear vs. what God's word actually says.....



tyrubonchi -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 10:53:33 PM)

Good post TimothyTwo226.

It is very important that we all look at what Gods word says and not what we just want to hear with any situation in our lives.

To the OP: I don't think that I would ever get re-married at all. I know I will never get divorced, but if my husband passed away I would not get re-married. It would just seem too wrong for me to do that because I am part of him and he is part of me now. That is just my opinion.



Restored_Heart -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 10:53:55 PM)

quote:

Well, it looks like the simple post that I started got everyone so crazed that it is now locked and I can't reply to all the questions that everyone has for me. First, I wish to thank those who have encouraged me to search for God's will in this matter and not listen to any human being. This is what I have tried to do from the begining and in much the same way that I felt convicted by God that I was a sinner in need of a savior and put my trust in Jesus, I felt convicted by God's word in this matter. For any of you that are married and don't feel that you are joined spiritually to your spouse...that your wife was made by God Himself just for you....that this bond can never be broken...I feel sorry for you if you lack this.

I look at this as several different issues. First, is my second marriage adultery? Yes it is. Jesus says so and that is good enough for me. There is no forgiveness without repentance, right? I should have stayed single after my wife divorced me but I didn't. Why? Because I was angry and bitter. Why? Because someone that I loved very much rejected me. What will my 1st wife do? That is up to her. For those who say that I would be hurting my 2nd wife and children involved, don't you think that I would suffer also?..that I AM suffering as I work through this? This is the toughest decisions that I have ever had to make. By the way, I know a heck of alot about divorce so any of you that say that I don't know about pain just back off. None of you know anything about me or the hell I have been through so just back off. But also, if it was too painful for Paul, and Peter and John and every other Christian to do what is right none of us would sign up for this gig. Anybody want to sign up to be a missionary in Columbia? Might hurt your family if you die at the hands of some whackjobs...how selfish! I really don't care what any of you who have attacked me think of me. As a matter of fact, the fervor and hostility that I have gotten has actually made me think more about why folks are so crazed than their message. The people who really do care and have encouraged me, I thank you again and your love and Christ can be seen through your patience and encouragement to study the word and pray over this.


Again I feel the need to post this Scripture:


Deuteronomy 24: 1-4 (AMP)
1WHEN A man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,

2And when she departs out of his house she goes and marries another man,

3And if the latter husband dislikes her and writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife,

4Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

Tinasdad - I appreciate your thoughts and feelings, but this scripture is clear - you cannot go back.



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 11:01:58 PM)

tinasdad, if you truly feel convicted that your marriage to your current wife is adultery, say hello to lifelong singleness because if you follow the legalists for that thought, you must follow through with the Deuteronomy thought. And you cannot return to the first wife. You have your answer. You just don't like it.

Now the rest of the thread is for the bigger questions.



Restored_Heart -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 11:07:06 PM)

As for the OP:

Is remarriage after divorce ok? Yes, in certain circumstances....

(Innocent spouse - abandonment by unbelieving spouse or unrepentant adultery; also if one has been washed clean by the blood of Jesus - they are a new creation)

Divorced people serving in Church Leadership? Yes, with qualifications.....

They must be right with God NOW, following His direction and call.



Keabird -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/28/2005 11:33:55 PM)

Hi Tinasdad, I'm glad you are still around, was wondering if you had given up on the forums altogether!

I personally didn't see anyone attack you. What I saw was people be honest and upfront with you - you wouldn't want them to do any different to that, would you? It would kind of defeat the purpose of asking for opinions in the first place.

Sometimes when people ask for opinions on these forums and get a response that is contrary to what they were hoping for, they will accuse the posters of attacking them. I have seen it happen on a number of occasions. From what I have seen though, very rarely are they actually being attacked - it's just hard to accept people being totally honest sometimes, especially when someone thinks differently to ourselves.

Part of the reason that, as Christians, we are advised to maintain regular fellowship is because we help and learn from each other. Sometimes that means that people disagree, but in that disagreeing, people grow and learn, and hopefully we all get to know the Word of God better. I think there is a Proverb that says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". It is good and healthy.

Perhaps this new thread that has been started will help answer some questions for you.

Sherri



lovenHim -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 12:32:51 AM)

Dear Tinasdad,

I am thrilled when Holy Spirit retores people to Himself, and calls them back to genuine repentance and restoration to His marriage truth. Praise God that He has burned the truth in your heart. I could not help but notice that those who disagree with you are trying to impose the legalism of Moses's civil code upon you. It is amazing to me that they would chose the one particular section that Jesus specifically threw out.

Brother, I suggest you listen to a message Rev. Wilcox preached last month in Lancaster Pa. on this very subject. It is being broadcast later this month, but can be downloaded by going to www.marriagedivorce.com. Please go to the second page and click on the link called "Sermons on MDR by Rev. Stephen Wilcox." The one you want is the first one listed called "MDR 1 - What Jesus Declares." You can stream it, or download it onto you computer.

There is also material on that same question at: http://www.marriagedivorce.com/hoseaproject7.htm that should help you. I will pray that God will give you great wisdom as you follow Him with gentle and kind conviction. I am praying for you.

LovenHim



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 12:55:30 AM)

Who is imposing legalism? That seems kind of funny. I was pointing out exactly that. That we should ignore the legalists that claim divorce is not biblical. I am so glad lovenhim agrees with us that legalism is bad and false teaching. The rest of their post was confusing and self-contradictory though.

To anyone who thinks of leaving their current spouse because they think divorce was not allowed from their first spouse, start practicing your explanation to your children. I cannot imagine explaining the truth of the situation to a child.

It must go something like this: "Children, I am leaving you and your mommy and ruining your entire lives because God demands sacrifice from me because my first wife sinned a long time ago, and because of that, now you and your mommy must pay dearly for the rest of your lives also, because that is the god I serve, he demands that you sacrifice for that old sin, but I get to return to another man's wife, the one who caused all this, because my god allows that. Now don't you feel better knowing I will be happy?"

I know this tone is harsh, but that is exactly what the situation in the other thread is basically stating. I just posed it in straightforward terms even a child can understand and avoided the pious verbiage that is often used to make it sound palatable. And it is not palatable. It stinks and any man that would do that to his children is no godly father and he is no godly husband for even considering leaving his covenant wife, which is what his current wife is, simply because he feels like it.

The God, the one true God, the one I serve says quite clearly, in several places in His word: I desire compassion and not sacrifice.

So go look up the Internet material. Listen to the false teachers and modern day pharisees. They will tickle your ears. Or, pick up the Word of God, read it. For if you had had known what these words mean "I desire compassion and not sacrifice", you would not condemn the innocent.

And in this case, the innocent are the ones to pay. And they will pay with their lives.



merryheart195 -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 4:40:14 AM)

OP:
Is it ok to get married when one is divorced?

Should a person who has been divorced and since re-married be allowed to serve as pastor/deacon/elder/minister/etc.?


Romans 7:1-3 "Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the huband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."

I Corinthians 7:39 "A wife if bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."

No, it is never OK to remarry unless one's first spouse has died. Any remarriage outside of that is considered to be adultery.

I Timothy 3:2-12: "A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?) not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husband of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well."

I would say that regardless of what you believe in regard to remarriage, the Bible does not allow them to hold these positions within the church. The many qualifications for leadership are clear and high, and would exclude more individuals than just the remarried.



merryheart195 -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 4:45:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: neuronstatic

tinasdad, if you truly feel convicted that your marriage to your current wife is adultery, say hello to lifelong singleness because if you follow the legalists for that thought, you must follow through with the Deuteronomy thought. And you cannot return to the first wife. You have your answer. You just don't like it.

Now the rest of the thread is for the bigger questions.


Tinasdad, if you will go to Matthew 5, you will see 6 instances where Jesus is addressing the OT law:
vs.21-22, 27-28, 31-32, 33-37. 38-42. 43-48. In each one of these passages Jesus says "You have heard that it was said ...but I say...." If you have a good cross reference Bible you can go to each one and find the specific OT law to which He is referring. He then negates each one of those laws when He says "but I say" and "raises the bar", explaining what is expected from there on out. Each one was a dramatic change from what was required under OT law. Gone are justice and restitution. Loving, not hating your enemies is the standard now required. He now deals with issues of the heart, and not simply outward appearances. Deuteronomy 24 is thrown out the window, along with each and every one of the other OT laws to which He is referring. They are no longer acceptable behavior because they do not offer the unconditional love and forgiveness that Jesus now requires of us. No one would ever go digging around Deuteronomy or Leviticus to resurrect OT laws which Jesus says will no longer be acceptable conduct in any of these verses but 31-32. Only in the matter of marriage, where it is needed to support one's theological persuasion, does it suddenly become permissible to resurrect what Jesus says is no longer acceptable conduct.

In Matthew 5 Jesus is revealing what the Gospel is all about: unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness. It is why we cannot help but cringe when we read the Psalms and come across verses that say things like let his wife be barren, or strike my enemies dead, or let my enemies be cursed for generations. We would find ourselves in serious trouble with the Lord if we were to pray in this fashion, for we are now commanded to love our enemies and to do good to those who persecute us.

It is in Matthew 5 that Jesus lays before us the changes instituted under the New Covenant. It is why no act committed against us can be held against the perpetrator in our hearts or by our actions. Never easy, but by His grace and by the power of the indwelling Spirit we are able to follow in His footsteps, all the way to the cross. Blessings to you!



northstar -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 5:49:20 AM)

Tinasdad, I applaud you wholeheartedly for seeking the truth and being willing to obey God no matter what it costs...[:D] I pray God will bless you as you seek Him, and that He will comfort all involved.

With regards to the OP...

Is marriage after divorce wrong? Yes.
Is it adultery? Yes.

Because Jesus says so. As does Paul. That is also good enough for me.

People say that God sees the second set of vows as binding, and that a person should stay in their current marriage, but they forget that God sees their first set of vows as binding, so they mustn't leave their first marriage in the first place. And if they do, then Paul says in 1 Corinthians to stay single or be reconciled...

That's good enough for me too...and while this is an emotive, traumatic, horrible thing to have to debate (and truly makes my heart ache) because it's people's lives we're talking about, we're also called to obedience and holiness. The Bible says that adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven, and that remarriage after divorce is adultery. I for one wouldn't want to take a chance on that...I'd rather repent of the adultery and be rewarded in heaven, than ignore it for a few years of 'happiness' on this earth and be told when I stand before God that I'm an unrepentant adulterer and can't come in...

God bless you all...



www.marriagesforlife.com



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 6:42:00 AM)

Here is a logical puzzle for everyone...

If marriage between a man and a woman is not dissoluble except by death, then it must be concluded that a person is capable of making a commitment that is indestructable for life. It therefore follows, that when it comes to the relationship of that person to God, their commitment to God is indestructable for life.

Does that mean then that all of you who support the indissolubility of marriage likewise support the view that "once saved always saved" in relation to God?

I ask this because I see it as an imposiibility to reconcile a position of believing marriage is indissoluble if salvation is not permanent. Or do you propose that man can make a more binding vow than God?



cadz -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 7:53:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: northstar

Tinasdad, I applaud you wholeheartedly for seeking the truth and being willing to obey God no matter what it costs...[:D] I pray God will bless you as you seek Him, and that He will comfort all involved.

With regards to the OP...

Is marriage after divorce wrong? Yes.
Is it adultery? Yes.

Because Jesus says so. As does Paul. That is also good enough for me.

People say that God sees the second set of vows as binding, and that a person should stay in their current marriage, but they forget that God sees their first set of vows as binding, so they mustn't leave their first marriage in the first place. And if they do, then Paul says in 1 Corinthians to stay single or be reconciled...

That's good enough for me too...and while this is an emotive, traumatic, horrible thing to have to debate (and truly makes my heart ache) because it's people's lives we're talking about, we're also called to obedience and holiness. The Bible says that adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven, and that remarriage after divorce is adultery. I for one wouldn't want to take a chance on that...I'd rather repent of the adultery and be rewarded in heaven, than ignore it for a few years of 'happiness' on this earth and be told when I stand before God that I'm an unrepentant adulterer and can't come in...

God bless you all...



www.marriagesforlife.com


Amen Northstar,
Jesus calls second marriages "adultery" after divorce. How does God recognize it as a marriage when he calls it adultery? How then does adultery turn into a lawful marriage that God recognizes?
Since Jesus calls it adultery, How do you get out of that adultery?



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 8:36:55 AM)

quote:


Jesus calls second marriages "adultery" after divorce. How does God recognize it as a marriage when he calls it adultery? How then does adultery turn into a lawful marriage that God recognizes?
Since Jesus calls it adultery, How do you get out of that adultery?

First, Jesus does NOT call all second marriages after divorce adultery. There is a false teaching prevalent today that spreads the lie that you cannot marry again after divorce. Yet it is just a legalist lie born of modern Pharisees and many have been swept into it. May God have mercy on them.

How does God recognize a marriage? Because God recognizes the marriage vows of anyone, even the pagans.

How does adultery turn into a lawful marriage? Marriage is already lawful, but repentance is needed to restore your relationship to God IF you are in adultery of any kind.

How do you get out of that adultery? It depends on the adultery, but in all you repent of your sins to God and restore your relationship to God.

So what does all this mean? If you have sinned in the past and repented of it, you then remain in the state you are in now and accept the consequences AND accept God's grace and forgiveness. If you divorced previously and are now married again, you remain married. THAT is what is required of the consequences. You stay and stick it out. You do the right thing and be faithful to your spouse, be a godly spouse, and never attempt to go back to the former spouse. Because if you do go back to them then that action IS adultery.

I find it simply and utterly preoposterous for anyone to make the assertion that God is incapable of forgiving someone who is repentant. And you know what, you repent of the sin and the heart attitude and you live out the consequences. You don't repent of a marriage. And you don't always get the chance to restore what was lost in sin.

How does a murderer repent and restore their relationship to God? They seek forgiveness, but they cannot restore life to what is dead.

And neither can a man divorce his current wife and return to a dead vow.



northstar -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 12:11:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: neuronstatic

Here is a logical puzzle for everyone...

If marriage between a man and a woman is not dissoluble except by death, then it must be concluded that a person is capable of making a commitment that is indestructable for life. It therefore follows, that when it comes to the relationship of that person to God, their commitment to God is indestructable for life.

Does that mean then that all of you who support the indissolubility of marriage likewise support the view that "once saved always saved" in relation to God?

I ask this because I see it as an imposiibility to reconcile a position of believing marriage is indissoluble if salvation is not permanent. Or do you propose that man can make a more binding vow than God?


I do not believe once saved always saved, otherwise I would not have such a big problem with remarriage. If once saved always saved is true, then a person can make a profession of faith and then pretty much live how they want, but I believe that we have to keep pressing on. I believe the Bible where it says that if we say we know God and don't do as He commands (and this is in every area of my life, not just marriage, divorce and remarriage), then we are liars and the truth is not in us.

The Ten Commandments say not to commit adultery.
Paul reiterates when he says that adulterers (among other things) will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.
Jesus and Paul say that to remarry before the death of the original spouse is to commit adultery.

So therefore remarriage is breaking one of the commandments, and is also doing exactly what Paul says will keep us out of the kingdom of heaven.

No, I don't believe once saved always saved. I push myself on to become what God wants me to be, and that is conformed to the image of His Son.

The Bible says that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin IF we walk in the light as He is in the light. Is adultery walking in light? Or walking in darkness? It means not carrying on with the sin in order for it to be forgiven.

People say there's only one unpardonable sin. True. Any sin can be forgiven IF it's repented of. We can't carry on in the same old sin thinking that the grace of God gives us liberty to go against things He has explicity said. It doesn't. The grace of God gives us the ability to do the RIGHT thing. And when we turn from our wicked ways He will forgive. But not if we carry on walking in darkness.

The Bible also says that by their fruits you shall know them.

In Galatians there is a list of the fruits of the spirit, and the lusts or fruits of the flesh. It lists adultery as a fleshly fruit (again, along with other things) and says that if we walk according to these things we won't get to heaven. That we must walk according to the Spirit. Adultery is not according to the Spirit.

Definitely don't believe OSAS.

God bless...



neuronstatic -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 12:36:12 PM)

So northstar what is boils down to is your misconceptions about what adultery (i.e. sexual immorality) is. So let's look at that in Matthew 5 for a moment. But first, let's look at how the concept is developed in personal relationships.

Matthew 5:21-22

    21 "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER' and 'Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.'
    22 "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

So then murder is more than killing someone physically. It is killing their spirit, their reputation, or otherwise damaging their witness unjustly.

So now let's look a bit further on.

Matthew 5:27-28

    27 "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY';
    28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So then what is adultery? It is not just physical acts of sexual immorality. It is also acts and thoughts of lust.

Again, let's move forward.

Matthew 5:31-32

    31 "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE';
    32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

So then there is the exception. If the spouse is divorced because of unchastity (i.e. sexual immorality), there is an exemption from the "makes her commit adultery" part. So what does it say? It says clearly that if you divorce someone without the exception, you are causing adultery on their part. It is obvious to most everyone that the appended clause at the end of 32 is not a separate thought but a continuation of the previous thought. If you marry the divorced person who was not lawfully divorced, you commit adultery yourself.

So pull that apart. Adultery is not getting divorced. Adultery is an act that can lead to divorce. And marrying someone who is an adulterer is wrong as well.

With all that said, there is repentance and grace. How do I know this? Because the Bible says so. And you agreed. Repentance results in forgiveness.

I can think of several times Jesus forgave an adultress. He said go and sin no more. He never said "remain single because of your sin."

That's the amazing thing about God. He has hope for the hopeless, grace and forgiveness, rest for the weary, and mercy and healing will meet you wheerever you are.



lastblast -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/29/2005 12:47:54 PM)

quote:

There is a false teaching prevalent today that spreads the lie that you cannot marry again after divorce. Yet it is just a legalist lie born of modern Pharisees and many have been swept into it. May God have mercy on them.


I Cor. 7:10-11, Mt. 5:32, Mt. 19:9, Lk. 16:16-18, Mk. 10:12

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How does God recognize a marriage? Because God recognizes the marriage vows of anyone, even the pagans.


I agree, that's why 1st marriages contracted BEFORE salvation are just as binding to the Lord as those 1st marriages contracted AFTER conversion.

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How does adultery turn into a lawful marriage? Marriage is already lawful, but repentance is needed to restore your relationship to God IF you are in adultery of any kind.


Jesus called a marriage after a divorce, adultery. Adultery is NOT lawful. Adultery means you are having unlawful relations with another person's spouse. You cannot be "lawfully" married and committing adultery at the same time.

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How do you get out of that adultery? It depends on the adultery, but in all you repent of your sins to God and restore your relationship to God.


How does one get out of adultery? They forsake the adulterous relationship. There is no other way and there is no NT scripture that teaches adultery "changes" into a lawful marriage, joined as "one flesh" by God. The true fruit of repentance of any sin is the forsaking of that sin............not confession and staying in a relationship Jesus calls adultery.

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If you divorced previously and are now married again, you remain married. THAT is what is required of the consequences. You stay and stick it out. You do the right thing and be faithful to your spouse, be a godly spouse, and never attempt to go back to the former spouse. Because if you do go back to them then that action IS adultery.


How would forsaking adultery and being reconciled with one's lawful spouse, be adultery? It is forsaking sin to return to, if possible, the "one flesh" God joined-----the "one flesh" Paul teaches will not be separated until death (Rom. 7:2-3, I Cor. 7:39). Unless you can show scripturally that a second marriage after a divorce IS BLESSED by God and no longer adultery, your counsel is not of value.

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And you don't always get the chance to restore what was lost in sin.


This is very true and this is why many should think long and hard, first before they divorce and secondly before they enter into a second marriage that Jesus calls adultery..............tinasdad's situation is a heartbreaking example.

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How does a murderer repent and restore their relationship to God? They seek forgiveness, but they cannot restore life to what is dead. And neither can a man divorce his current wife and return to a dead vow


And so it goes with those who commit adultery............sometimes they cannot get back what they lost.........That is the horrible effects of sin. However, just as God does not give a murderer carte blanche to continue his/her murders and be AOK with Him, He also does not allow His followers to remain in sexual sin without it affecting His relationship with us. If a person DOES depart, and desires to follow the Lord, Paul teaches they are to remain unmarried----even if reconciliation is not possible.

PS. Using children as a reason to continue living in adultery is just not biblical.........in the OT nor NT, so I'm not quite sure why that particular point keeps coming up in people's reasons for staying in a second marriage. If the "children" are such a concern, what about the children of 1st marriages? Why isn't it important to SHOW them what unconditional love is toward a spouse? Isn't that Christ's desire-----that we show our children who HE is through the choices we make? While ANY of us still have breath in us, will He forsake us due to sin?

Also, concerning Deut. 24:1-4, yes, the truth is that Jesus THREW this allowance out. The thing too that always gets ignored is that the woman was ALLOWED to remarry----without sin. In other words, she was NOT an adulteress. Her second marriage WAS lawful. However, Jesus' teachings on divorce and remarriage is VERY different. In the NT, a remarriage after a divorce is called ADULTERY. Paul in Rom. 7:2-3 taught that if a woman marries another while her husband lives, she shall be called an adulteress. Yet, if her husband dies and then she marries another, she will not be an adulteress. It's very clear that these passages in the OT and NT are VERY different. In Him, Cindy



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