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RE: Detachment Parenting Support Thread! - 10/5/2008 12:14:01 AM
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garsyt
Posts: 2238
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: the bottom of the laundry basket
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.X
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Not that I believe in being detached from my children, it's just what the other term seems to imply is the alternative. 
I do want to clarify what detatchment parenting is according to me and maybe some of you agree. Detatchment parenting involves a parent finding any way possible to not meet the needs of their child themselves. Detachment parenters use burp rags and the like to prop their baby's bottles up, so they don't have to hold the baby. Not on occasion, the majority of the time. Maggie said something one time which really struck me as sad but it wasn't about the AP/DP debate or anything. She said something like "and the baby just gets moved from one plastic thing to another plastic thing so the parents don't have to deal with him/her." We probably all have owned a bouncy seat, swing, exersaucer or walker and used them a couple few times a day to help stimulate our babies and also so we could get some things done around the house when the baby might get fussy just being on the floor. A detatchment parenter transfers their baby constantly so they don't have to try to comfort the baby themselves. Our kids have probably all watched a little Sesame Street or Baby Einstein or the like, from very rarely to a couple few times a day. The detatchment parenter uses these shows to keep their babies occupied so they don't have to deal with them, not just a couple few times a day, all day. There really are parents out there like this. I've met some, and it's not as uncommon as you think.
So, I don't feel that those of us who are in the middle are "detatchment" parenters. Everyone I've met on here wants what's best for their kids.
Well if that's the definition, then I was not that. But nor am I anything to the other extreme as well
Extremes are dangerous animals, if you ask me.
Blessings,
Garsy
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My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Detachment Parenting Support Thread! - 10/5/2008 12:15:24 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5082
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
Honestly, I thought it just meant you didn't carry your child with you 24/7 (I don't like that idea either).
Oh, gosh. I don't think I could handle having DD on me 24/7 and I'm a huge babywearing proponent, it was a major thing that aided our bonding. We don't cosleep either(did in the beginning, though), but I don't have anything against it...
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RE: Detachment Parenting Support Thread! - 10/5/2008 12:09:57 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6053
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Flintejae
I agree. It is what the other name implies. There are a lot of implications lately. It's all just so sad, pointless, divisive, and hurtful.
I only think the name implies that. I do not at all think that the people here who use that term mean it like that. And, for the record, all I believe happened here is that some people who feel passionately about a certain topic got just a little over-zealous about it. I do not think for one minute that anyone intended anything negative by it.
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Detachment Parenting Support Thread! - 10/5/2008 6:57:30 PM
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RepentanceIsRequired
Posts: 1111
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
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I had no idea there were so many types of "parenting" out there. These terms are all new to me; now granted I am a young mother. I don't like reading books because well, frankly my kids don't come with instruction manuals so I have to figure them out as we go.
When Zach was a baby there were times I would sit him in his car carrier and I'd put a pillow on his belly and prop up his bottle while he sat next to me and I had to get some work done. He was one who I could just put in the crib for a nap, sit on the floor/chair say lie down, he'd lie down and put himself to sleep. Even now there are times he still tries to sneak into bed with Ryan and I (he's good at it too; at 7 years old I still don't notice him crawing in).
Rae, honestly I don't remember much about her habits as a baby. She has a very special bond with Ryan. She is our cuddle bug. She too could go to sleep easily.
Mary takes a little more work. She loves to be rocked to sleep and is a passie user (other two were not). With Mary, yes I have let her sit and cry. The challenge with Mary is that she has daddy's temper and she can get mad easily. An example is when I will have her in her bouncy seat while I wash dishes. Half way through she gets fussy, I try rocking her with my foot, but she wants me to hold her. She'll get mad fast, but I know she is not hurt or in pain so she will have to sit and wait so I can finish my dishes. As soon as I am done I pick her up and we have play time.
I'm not sure what I'm going for with this post, but I have been reading all the current threads going on about parenting and I realize I don't "fit" any of them. We aren't planning type of parents and since things change so quickly around our house our kids have to learn how to be flexible.
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--Nicole--
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
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RE: Detachment Parenting Support Thread! - 10/5/2008 9:01:53 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10439
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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I can't fathom why any of us would WANT to be detached parents. I highly doubt that is what we are called to, Biblically speaking.
I don't think the absence of attachment parenting makes you detached either. When I think of detached, I think of parents who are basically emotionally abusive by depriving their children of the love and support they need. I don't think any of us here are that way, nor do I think anyone here strives to be that way with their children.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!! 
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