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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/13/2008 7:49:36 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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Kmangel & SavedbygraceMD
Thank you for your response along with everyone else here. I do agree with both of you. I even ask him the question, "What if you dont have a deathbed." I didnt get much of a response from him on that one. He actually believes in God, but when you ask him about Jesus, he says there were ones before Him that did the exact same things that He has done. And that we can "save" ourselves.
I have felt so down and out today, that I came in from work, and got in a quiet place, all alone with the Lord, and just cried and had a heart to heart talk with Him about everything. And I know in my heart, that I have done all I can do, I have said all that I can say, and Im not responsible for his actions. I will continue to pray for Him and trust in the Lord. And when that day comes, I'll be the friend that he needs.
The last 5 months have really been hard on me, with a divorce and then this, along with some other things, maybe Im just having a pity party and just need to shake it off. But I know the Lord is faithful, after my cry and my talk with Him, I feel 100% better, I know He is with me. I just feel like i have walked this firey trial for so long, that Im ready for brighter days. And I know there still ahead of me, it cant rain forever.
Again, Thanks to everyone here.....this is truly a wonderful place 
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/13/2008 8:10:46 PM
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Dancre
Posts: 1254
Joined: 4/12/2005
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(((((((((Misty))))))))))
I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you. You are being severely attacked by the devil, that's where all of this is coming from. He sent this guy to you to drag you down and then pushed the ex back into drinking and then convinced him to leave. Just know, know, know, know, know God doesn't bring guilt. Satan does, but not God. God gives love and conviction. You are doing the right thing in cutting off ties with this guy. In fact, I believe you should just walk away from him. It's one thing to be friends with someone of a different belief and walk in love with them, it's another when that person gives full frontal attacks. You don't need this. Just cling to God, dear, and He won't let you go. This guy made his own choice and even though God doesn't like it, He'll respect it. But I have a feeling you'll hear from him again, and this time it will be, can you pray with me? Hang in there, dear. :) It will get better for both you and your baby.
kim
quote:
ORIGINAL: misty35
Kmangel & SavedbygraceMD
Thank you for your response along with everyone else here. I do agree with both of you. I even ask him the question, "What if you dont have a deathbed." I didnt get much of a response from him on that one. He actually believes in God, but when you ask him about Jesus, he says there were ones before Him that did the exact same things that He has done. And that we can "save" ourselves.
I have felt so down and out today, that I came in from work, and got in a quiet place, all alone with the Lord, and just cried and had a heart to heart talk with Him about everything. And I know in my heart, that I have done all I can do, I have said all that I can say, and Im not responsible for his actions. I will continue to pray for Him and trust in the Lord. And when that day comes, I'll be the friend that he needs.
The last 5 months have really been hard on me, with a divorce and then this, along with some other things, maybe Im just having a pity party and just need to shake it off. But I know the Lord is faithful, after my cry and my talk with Him, I feel 100% better, I know He is with me. I just feel like i have walked this firey trial for so long, that Im ready for brighter days. And I know there still ahead of me, it cant rain forever.
Again, Thanks to everyone here.....this is truly a wonderful place
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 12:59:11 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dancre
(((((((((Misty))))))))))
I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you. You are being severely attacked by the devil, that's where all of this is coming from. He sent this guy to you to drag you down and then pushed the ex back into drinking and then convinced him to leave. Just know, know, know, know, know God doesn't bring guilt. Satan does, but not God. God gives love and conviction. You are doing the right thing in cutting off ties with this guy. In fact, I believe you should just walk away from him. It's one thing to be friends with someone of a different belief and walk in love with them, it's another when that person gives full frontal attacks. You don't need this. Just cling to God, dear, and He won't let you go. This guy made his own choice and even though God doesn't like it, He'll respect it. But I have a feeling you'll hear from him again, and this time it will be, can you pray with me? Hang in there, dear. :) It will get better for both you and your baby.
kim
Kim,
I just want to say thank you for the comforting words. And I do agree with you. I was really beginning to feel guilty about numerous things, its like it all hit me at once, and I just couldnt figure out why I was feeling like that, but I do feel that it was an attack from the devil, no doubt. I just ask that everyone keep me and my daughter in your prayers, Im really beginning to question some things, NOT my salvation by any means, and I would never walk away from Christ, I guess maybe mistakes that I have made, maybe things that I should have done differently, and please keep my friend in your prayers, his name is Chris.
Thank you everyone,
With love,
Misty
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 4:19:23 PM
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kmangel
Posts: 459
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I have two grown sons who have yet to give their hearts to Jesus. I was saved as an adult, so my faith journey began when they were teenagers. They were not very pleased with the "new" me. I wanted to share Jesus with my boys, but they had no interest. They would become angry with me. I remember walking after one of them or my husband would say something hurtful to me. I would walk and cry and talk to God about my hurt feelings. I would go to my friend to talk about what my family would say to me in response to my new faith. My friend was always there to encourage me. She was wonderful! I would open my heart to her and she never let me wallow in pity or despair. Do you have a mentor or a close Christian friend to encourage you?
One other thing I also want to share with you is that I was involved with an evanglical ministry a few years ago. There was a young woman and her husband in the group. They would pray to God before our meal together, but I quickly learned that the woman did not pray to Jesus. She didn't think He is God. This lady was in my small group. I led a discussion of the video we watched each evening we got together to learn about God so I discovered what she believed. Her parents were church goers. Her mother was a deacon of a church. I thought to myself "How could she not understand about Jesus?" I prayed to God to use me to reach out to her and during the discussion she asked why Christians believe Jesus is God. God had already led me to some verses to read so I read them. The next week she took me aside and shared that she had given her heart to Jesus! It was a wonderful moment for me.
What I came away with is that her parents probably were praying for someone to come into her life to help her see Jesus for Who He really is. They were much involved in church as her parents, but they were not the ones who God used to finally put the final pieces of the puzzle together for her. I thought to myself that they must be so pleased--pleased and grateful that she went on this course because it led her to Jesus. I have the same prayer for my sons. God will bring someone into their lives to put the final pieces of the puzzle together for them, too.
Trust God with your friend. There will probably be many people in your friend's life that God will speak through. God is in control. He loves your friend much more than you do.
_____________________________
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
--Mark Twain
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 4:54:32 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 905
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kmangel
I have two grown sons who have yet to give their hearts to Jesus. I was saved as an adult, so my faith journey began when they were teenagers. They were not very pleased with the "new" me. I wanted to share Jesus with my boys, but they had no interest. They would become angry with me. I remember walking after one of them or my husband would say something hurtful to me. I would walk and cry and talk to God about my hurt feelings. I would go to my friend to talk about what my family would say to me in response to my new faith. My friend was always there to encourage me. She was wonderful! I would open my heart to her and she never let me wallow in pity or despair. Do you have a mentor or a close Christian friend to encourage you?
One other thing I also want to share with you is that I was involved with an evanglical ministry a few years ago. There was a young woman and her husband in the group. They would pray to God before our meal together, but I quickly learned that the woman did not pray to Jesus. She didn't think He is God. This lady was in my small group. I led a discussion of the video we watched each evening we got together to learn about God so I discovered what she believed. Her parents were church goers. Her mother was a deacon of a church. I thought to myself "How could she not understand about Jesus?" I prayed to God to use me to reach out to her and during the discussion she asked why Christians believe Jesus is God. God had already led me to some verses to read so I read them. The next week she took me aside and shared that she had given her heart to Jesus! It was a wonderful moment for me.
What I came away with is that her parents probably were praying for someone to come into her life to help her see Jesus for Who He really is. They were much involved in church as her parents, but they were not the ones who God used to finally put the final pieces of the puzzle together for her. I thought to myself that they must be so pleased--pleased and grateful that she went on this course because it led her to Jesus. I have the same prayer for my sons. God will bring someone into their lives to put the final pieces of the puzzle together for them, too.
Trust God with your friend. There will probably be many people in your friend's life that God will speak through. God is in control. He loves your friend much more than you do.
Thank you kmangel for the encouraging post, and I will pray for your sons.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 4:59:40 PM
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kmangel
Posts: 459
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Thank you kmangel for the encouraging post, and I will pray for your sons.
You are very welcome and thank you for your prayers for my sons. Each and every prayer is very dear to me.
_____________________________
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
--Mark Twain
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 5:03:31 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 905
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kmangel
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Thank you kmangel for the encouraging post, and I will pray for your sons.
You are very welcome and thank you for your prayers for my sons. Each and every prayer is very dear to me.
I know it is just so hard to watch the ones we love the most stray from the Lord. But the Lord is so good, and you are right, God loves them all much more than we do.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 6:00:29 PM
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Dan94
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/25/2008
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
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kmangel,
What a wonderful post, an inspiration direct from God. I have a unsaved Son and Daughter as I'm sure many here also have. You have not only helped build Misty35 up, but I'm sure all who read your post can commit a tear of joy and hope to God because of this testimony to God's love and timing.
Misty35
I join others in rejoicing to the faithfulness of God. It's clear by your replies that the foot prints in the sand, that once showed 2 sets of prints are now showing 1 set, because your allowing God to carry you through this time of trial. As you continue in faith and embrace the encouragement of scripture and saints, soon there will be 2 sets again as Jesus walks along side in a fellowship that the world can not explain.
I had another post yesterday very similar to Dancre's post about who was really behind all of your heart ache. But my computer ate it (I was very angry with my computer) before I had a chance to post it. It was as if Satan did not want to be exposed by the light. But I'm glad to see that Dancre got the point across in elegant manor.
Satan's attacks are like a planned car crash, but God is in the ambulance that responds. He is also in the ambulance of the comfort of friends and praying Christians and unknown (sometimes only known to God) saints in a church of God, formed on the Internet. I like to think that Jesus may introduce us all to each other in heaven. Saying "Misty, this is Dancre, this is Kmangel, this is LoyalGypsy, this is manda59 and a host of others. That extended love, encouragement and prayers to an unknown sister, in obedience to My command to love and pray for one another".
"Dear Father bless the work You do through caring people of all race and back ground who in the common faith in Jesus throw aside all obstacles in hopes of helping a hurting soul in the time of trial and a time of only 1 set of foot prints in the sand". In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
I do not know how to do the "quote thing" yet in my posts, so please bare with me in my lack of computer skills.
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 6:58:51 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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Kmangel, SavedbygraceMD & Dan94......and everyone else here, thank you all so very much.
Im sitting here in my office at my desk about to burst out in tears, I know without a doubt, that you all speak truth, and Im so very thankful for people like you, who show love and kindness to someone you dont even know. And yes, Im surrounded by Godly people, if I werent, I really think that I would have already gone crazy. Me and my daughter have moved back home, in with my mom and dad, who are great Christian people, and the majority of my relatives are Christians as well, Im so very thankful for all of them, they have all been so supportive.
I need to ask a question, and maybe you guys can give me insight on something that has really been bothering me. You know that I was recently divorced Sept 24, and we have been seperated since May, 2008. I have been told that the trials and tribulations that we face as Christians, are to make us stronger, that we should rejoice, and I have and I do, even through my tears, and I have been told that what Im going through, I will some day be able to help someone that is facing the same thing that I have already faced. I believe that, but here is the question, since May, right up to the very moment my divorce was final, I believed, trusted and my faith was in God, that He was going to perform a miracle and heal my marriage, but it just didnt happen, I spoke words of faith, even when others said it was over, to accept it, I just couldnt, I had a deeper hope inside me, and today, Im still in shock that its over. With what I have been through, how can I possibly ever help someone else with something similar? I try to stay away from the marriage and relationship threads because Im afraid that I may say something that is wrong. Even today, I still have a hope inside of me, I think, is this Misty's hope or is this the Lord saying He isnt finished with this situation? Its bothering me so bad. I hope Im making sense to everyone. Its been 5 months, and I still believe that the Lord is going to do something. Should I accept this or what? I have even prayed, and ask the Lord that if there is no hope, please remove all hope from my life, because this is killing me.
I hope someone can help me with this, and I hope they dont close this thread to move it to marriage, because that isnt the question, its about hope, its about trials that we are faced with, I feel like this trial that Ive been walking for months now just doesnt have closure yet. I think to help someone else, we have to be certain about what we have gone through. Am I wrong?
I hope and pray, you guys can help me with this.
Misty
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 7:19:29 PM
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kmangel
Posts: 459
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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There is a website called Marriage Builders. It will guide you on what to do now that your divorce is in effect. Until either you or your ex-husband remarries, there is always hope for a reconciliation.
May God give you His peace, no matter what the final outcome.
www.marriagebuilders.com
_____________________________
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
--Mark Twain
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 7:25:42 PM
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bravjim
Posts: 395
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline
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His anger is nothing more than a lack of satisfaction in what he believes. It can be a major shock when we encounter people who are so vehemently against the word of God, and you will notice when you meet others that almost all of them carry around a lot of anger. I never denied Jesus as being the son of God, but I did turn away from Him for a very long time in my life. That time of my life was filled with anger and frustration and an overall emptiness with no joy or hope for something better. Perhaps one day, the pain he is experiencing will bring him to seek God, but you should not pursue him. Honor his wishes, but don't turn your back on him completely. If he contacts you, show him the the love of Christ without preaching to Him. Let him see Christ in you, and perhaps he will change his mind and attitude towards Christ.
quote:
ORIGINAL: misty35
Ladyichigo,
Thank you :) I know your right. A part of me feels like that maybe there is more I can do, or maybe more I should have said today, but the more I said, the more angry he got with me, and to the point of laughing at me. My heart feels so heavy. No one could ever make me turn my back on Christ or even make me doubt Him, but those words today were so harsh. I honestly do not know this side of him.
Everyone here is so wonderful, and I just ask that you all pray for him.
Thanks to everyone, and may God Bless you all!
_____________________________
I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfilll the lust of the flesh.
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/14/2008 7:54:24 PM
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Dan94
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/25/2008
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
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Misty35
I have been divorced for 13 years, due to my own fault and sin before God. I still love my ex wife and because she has not remarried or dating I still hold out hope. The men in my Thursday night men's group at church understand me, but at first they were trying to get me to go to the singles events at the church. That's not saying the singles group is really a dating group, but I'm not taking that chance. I really have no longing to be with anyone but my ex wife. So if you still love him and he does not get remarried, then hope and pray. There is nothing wrong with being patient with God. Sometimes He says Be still and know that I am God, is there anything to hard for Me?
Take heart and listen to the soft reply and God can and will use you to help someone else out. He must trust you with this burden, to remain faithful.
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/15/2008 7:34:42 AM
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nettiel
Posts: 184
Joined: 10/8/2008
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 hi, im sorry about your friend, but i know people like that too. and it really hurts to know what their missing out on. god is a good god. and he loves us.but you,ve done your part.you told him. thats allyou can do, now leave it alone and give him to god, keep praying, but step back and let god have it. nettiel
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/15/2008 11:16:02 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 905
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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Misty,
Hello, how are you doing today?
First let me say that I have never been in a similar situation, since I have never been married.
But, when I read you post about your divorce, 2 things came to mind.
#1- Is he a Christian also?(your ex)
if not, even though I do believe God is not in favor of divorce, then maybe your unanswered prayer for reconciliation was your answer.
Maybe God has a Christian man in mind for you.
If he is a believer also, then I wouldn't give up hope.
#2- Are you really listening to what God is saying regarding this, or do you just want what you want? I don't mean to be blunt, so please take no offense. I was at a time in my life engaged and with someone for 5 years. When she broke up with me I was broken. I wanted her back so bad, I did things I wouldn't do otherwise to get her back. Now when I look back, and then look at where we are now, I know it never would've worked. So it worked out for the best.
My point is, your separation, and your divorce are very fresh. The soured relationship may go back a ways, but the hurt and maybe the loneliness is new. It will take time to get over him, or to see God work in him and send him back to you. Either way, it will take time.
May I suggest to put all of your focus in their due places. You have a child, maybe children. Focus on her(them). Bu most importantly, focus on Him, your savior, your friend, your God. Know in your heart that He loves you more than you could possibly know, and that He knows what you want and desire before you ask. If it fits with His plan for you, it will be done. If not, something better than you can imagine will come along. But know He has your best interest at heart, and He will always be there for comfort and support.
Take care Misty, and may His peace be with you.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/16/2008 9:02:14 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Misty,
Hello, how are you doing today?
First let me say that I have never been in a similar situation, since I have never been married.
But, when I read you post about your divorce, 2 things came to mind.
#1- Is he a Christian also?(your ex)
if not, even though I do believe God is not in favor of divorce, then maybe your unanswered prayer for reconciliation was your answer.
Maybe God has a Christian man in mind for you.
If he is a believer also, then I wouldn't give up hope.
#2- Are you really listening to what God is saying regarding this, or do you just want what you want? I don't mean to be blunt, so please take no offense. I was at a time in my life engaged and with someone for 5 years. When she broke up with me I was broken. I wanted her back so bad, I did things I wouldn't do otherwise to get her back. Now when I look back, and then look at where we are now, I know it never would've worked. So it worked out for the best.
My point is, your separation, and your divorce are very fresh. The soured relationship may go back a ways, but the hurt and maybe the loneliness is new. It will take time to get over him, or to see God work in him and send him back to you. Either way, it will take time.
May I suggest to put all of your focus in their due places. You have a child, maybe children. Focus on her(them). Bu most importantly, focus on Him, your savior, your friend, your God. Know in your heart that He loves you more than you could possibly know, and that He knows what you want and desire before you ask. If it fits with His plan for you, it will be done. If not, something better than you can imagine will come along. But know He has your best interest at heart, and He will always be there for comfort and support.
Take care Misty, and may His peace be with you.
SavedbygraceMD
I just want to say, "Thank you for your encouraging words." And yes, he was / is a Christian, or atleast I thought he was, thats kinda hard to answer, if u know what I mean. He did go 3 months without drinking, or to my knowledge he did, unless he was lying to me, and during that time, he gave the Lord all the glory for this, I guess thats why its so hard for me to comprehend that he was so quick to give up on us......this is something that I just cant get through this head of mine.
And yes, my focus is on Christ, if it werent, I would have already collapsed. I know in my heart that God has allowed this to happen, I may not understand it right now, but in time, I will. I was the type of person, before I got saved, that was always use to being in control, and today, God controls it, and that gives me peace, but that question is there, whats happening, am I to pray that God brings him back into my life, although we are divorced now, or do I move on, if Im not careful, these thoughts will over take me, so I stay in the Word, in His presence and Im trusting Him on this. Yes, I get lonely, I wont deny that, and I miss him, but God is more important.....there is a reason behind all this, so I choose to trust God. I know this allows room for my faith to grow in Hiim. Its not always easy, but I push through it, and keep an open line of communication with our Father.
Sincerely,
Misty
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/17/2008 3:38:20 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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I spoke to my friend today, I felt that I needed to contact him to let him know that Im not mad with him, and he ask if we could talk later, I said, "Yes." He wants me to hear him out, without breaking in, he made the remark that he wished he did believe like me because my way is much more peaceful, but he has discovered the truth and wants me to hear him out, so I said, ok I will, but know this, I will not believe the way that you do, and I ask in return that he hears me out, and then we will drop this, he agreed.
So, Im asking everyone, to please pray for him. And pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me in this conversation with him.
Thanks to everyone.
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
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RE: I need advice about a situation that Im facing.... - 10/18/2008 8:49:22 PM
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bravjim
Posts: 395
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline
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Misty:
First of all, I would like to say that you have a really amazing testimony, and that may be important in dealing with your friend. I will explain this in a moment.
It seems to me that your friend may have had a similar experience as your exhusband. Something may have happened that caused his faith to collapse in on itself. It sounds to me like it may have been he was exposed to some new age beliefs combined with ancient religions that caused his faith to fall apart; this may have been the result of some test of his faith that he faced that caused him to lose faith so that he was looking for something different. Kind of like your exhusband's faith collapsed in on itself when it was tested with financial problems. If this is the case, he will hopefully find that whatever has pulled him away from God is empty, and he may return.
If it does come up empty for him, then he may crash at some point, like you did. That is why I said above that your testimony may be relevant. He might wind up hitting rock bottom and call out to Jesus the same way you did. At that point, he will need a friend, and that would be an opportunity for you to step into that role. Since he already has a working knowledge of God, you might be someone who can support him if this happens.
However, something else may be going on as well. If the same thing happened to him as what happened to your exhusband, then God could be using this as an example of what is in store for your exhusband, kind of a warning for you concerning your exhusband. He might be open to some false doctrine that moves Him away from Christ. Of course, all of this is may just be speculation, but I thing you should be on the look out for either one of these situations in case God is planning to use you in some way concerning either your friend or your exhusband, or perhaps both. Therefore, pray for them both, that God would work in their hearts. In answer to one of your other question, yes, God will intervene if either one will allow Him to do so, so you should pray for them both for just that reason. No, He will not do something that they will not allow Him to do as it pertains to their salvation due to free will, but He can and will work in their life to get them to return to Him.
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I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfilll the lust of the flesh.
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