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How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 9:39:28 PM
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DrivenbyGod
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How soon do you know if you'd date a girl/guy when you meet them?
What are the things that make the decision for you quickly..?
I was just thinking about this after reading through some of these threads about finding the one or having lists. I never thought of myself as a list person, but I guess I can make this decision fairly quick sometimes, so I must have some kind of list back there.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:02:48 PM
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Prairiehiker
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From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
How soon do you know if you'd date a girl/guy when you meet them?
Date? As in go out to see if there's any potential there? I'd know right away. If I find the man attractive, I'd definitely go out with him for coffee just to see what he's all about. By the end of that date, then, I'd know whether I'd want to see him again or not.
quote:
What are the things that make the decision for you quickly..?
Initially, it's all about looks for me. But, if after getting to know him for a bit, and I find that he's not a Christ follower, he's not into the outdoors, he's not a kind/compassionate/adventurous person, and if he's got 5 different kids with 5 different women, chances are he can look like Brad Pitt, I won't bother with him at all.
I was just thinking about this after reading through some of these threads about finding the one or having lists. I never thought of myself as a list person, but I guess I can make this decision fairly quick sometimes, so I must have some kind of list back there.
We all have a list. Now, if you don't think you do, look at the first single woman you meet tomorrow and ask yourself if you can see yourself dating her. If not, ask yourself why. There's your list telling you why.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:04:31 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
How soon do you know if you'd date a girl/guy when you meet them?
What are the things that make the decision for you quickly..?
I was just thinking about this after reading through some of these threads about finding the one or having lists. I never thought of myself as a list person, but I guess I can make this decision fairly quick sometimes, so I must have some kind of list back there.
Is she physically attractive to me and is she a Christian? If the answers are both yes I'd date her on the first meeting.
Dating is the process by which we weed out those who are not good matches for us. Most first dates will never progress to second dates, most second dates will never progress to third dates etc. The more we know of a person the better we can tell whether they match or not.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:26:47 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
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From: The little house in the prairie
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I don't know about you John, but I'm thinking, if I make it through the second date and I still like the guy, I'm rushing home to fill in his name in my wedding invitations, lol.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:34:32 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
Dating is the process by which we weed out those who are not good matches for us. Most first dates will never progress to second dates, most second dates will never progress to third dates etc.
So, your a numbers man I take it?
Maybe that's my problem... I used to think that way, but then started to think God will bless me when the time is right. I shouldn't have to be running around like a mad man dating everyone in sight. I guess it's a balancing act.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:37:27 PM
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lost_n_thought
Posts: 41
Joined: 9/11/2008
From: Iowa
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
What are the things that make the decision for you quickly..?
I've dated through the personal sites so my dates were sorta like blind dates, but within 10 minutes I could tell. It's more than looks, or what they believe. I can find someone extremely attractive if ITS there, if he makes me laugh, if we click. If I can feel comfortable (and it's this part that keeps me the one date wonder).
Call it chemistry or whatever. It's a special something that says: Yeah I like this person. I ask myself too, if I were blind would this person be good for me? Do we have things in common? I passed up a great guy I was well matched with by being superficial.
_____________________________
Matthew 25:40.
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:40:08 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
Now, if you don't think you do, look at the first single woman you meet tomorrow and ask yourself if you can see yourself dating her. If not, ask yourself why. There's your list telling you why.
Touche' -- Ok, good point.
I guess the initial attraction thing is there for us all and then we go from there.
It sure is tough when you have to factor in being a Christian, because it makes the pickens much smaller... That's one of the reasons I would like to believe Gods hand has some serious play on helping me out.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:42:40 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
used to think that way, but then started to think God will bless me when the time is right. I shouldn't have to be running around like a mad man dating everyone in sight. I guess it's a balancing act.
I don't think John is a numbers man.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 10:55:24 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
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From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
That makes me think of speed dating. I've never done it, but thought about it..
I tried speed dating a couple of times...more for observation of how I behave in front of people. And it's true. If you click, you click within a few minutes.
The thing about speed dating is you ask the same question over and over again to different men. So, it gets tiring after awhile. The techniques I employed was to find something about the person that they are passionate about and talk about that. So, even if you don't connect, you'll at least have a pleasant conversation that's not forced. It was a fun experience, but I did it more to experiment, so I didn't agree to meet anyone afterwards.
As for the numbers game....I don't think I am a numbers person. I hardly go on dates.....not even once a year because I hardly meet men that I find attractive. I went on one date a few weeks ago with a guy I met online, and I knew within the first 10 minutes that I wouldn't go out with him again. But we had a nice time. He pressured me for a second date, which made me run the other direction. That's probably one of the two dates I'll have this year. And you know what happened with the other date.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:02:21 PM
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lost_n_thought
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From: Iowa
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quote:
and I knew within the first 10 minutes that I wouldn't go out with him again. But we had a nice time. He pressured me for a second date, which made me run the other direction.
I've never speed dated, but over the last 4 years hit match a few times. I think speed dating would have been infinitely more economical use of time (to take alllll the romance out it).
That pressure or continued pursuit is what makes me most leery so I'm done with those sights. I'm still so bad at handling the 'thanks but I don't think we're a match' lines...mostly because ppl don't seem to get them. I dont want to be rude, but i hate it if i end up just ignoring them until they go away.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:05:34 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
Status: offline
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I'm done with the sites too. I think I'll just turn on the charm when I walk out my front door, and see who I can victimized, lol.
Friendliness is the way to go. I meet so many people when I go on hikes, that if I am not with a male hiking partner, I can probably get a few numbers by the time I reach the trail's end.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 9/17/2008 11:16:35 PM >
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:12:33 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3830
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Friendliness is the way to go. I meet so many people when I go on hikes, that if I am not with a male hiking partner, I can probably get a few numbers by the time I reach the trail's end.
How do you do that? I'm friendly, but men don't approach me like that or respond if I approach them (although I haven't done it in a long time).
I think I have a sign on me that says "Cooties!" or something similar. 
Concerning the OP, it really depends upon the person. Sometimes I know right away, but other times it takes a while and surprises me.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:18:26 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
How do you do that? I'm friendly, but men don't approach me like that or respond if I approach them (although I haven't done it in a long time).
I act like I'm blonde, even though I'm not, lol. Works every time. But only on hiking trails or at the gym.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:21:31 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3830
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I act like I'm blonde, even though I'm not, lol. Works every time. But only on hiking trails or at the gym.
Are you serious? Act ditzy? LOL! I don't think I could do that.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:23:53 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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It only works because I'm in my element when I'm out in the woods. Even bears and squirrels seems to be friendly with me. Helps that I am loaded with a few hiking jokes.
But take me to the board room, and I'm a different person. Then, I'm a different kind of blonde, lol
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:28:50 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
Status: offline
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I'm sure you have a few admirers. Just give them a chance.
and on that note....goodnight.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/17/2008 11:30:46 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3830
Joined: 3/30/2007
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Thank you, PH and Blue eyes. 
Sleep well, PH! It was nice talking to you tonight.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/18/2008 12:08:34 AM
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skreyola
Posts: 1989
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
How soon do you know if you'd date a girl/guy when you meet them?
What are the things that make the decision for you quickly..?
I was just thinking about this after reading through some of these threads about finding the one or having lists. I never thought of myself as a list person, but I guess I can make this decision fairly quick sometimes, so I must have some kind of list back there.
It depends. But the faster I know, the worse it is. If I know quickly whether I'd date a woman, it usually means she's popped a red flag, meaning not just no but.... well, you get the idea.
Dating is important to me. If I'm dating someone, it means I'm weighing the probability that I'll ask her to be my wife. So knowing that I am interested in looking seriously takes longer than knowing that I'm not interested.
I have a list. It's not a checklist, but there are some things on it that are non-negotiable. There are other things on it that are wants that could easily be wrong. And there are some things on there that are just preferences of whim, which don't matter much but are included for completeness of picture and thought.
To me, the importance of the list is not in comparing people you meet to what's on the 'page': the importance is that I took the time to sit down and think about what traits will tend to make a strong relationship and what traits will tend to make a relationship miserable.
But if I don't dismiss a woman pretty quickly, I probably know within ten or twelve shared events that I would like to get to know her better.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
Open Source is good stewardship!
I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/18/2008 12:20:52 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2607
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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Skrey, Driven is just talking about a date. Let's say you meet a woman in a bookstore. You talked and there's some attraction. So, you want to get to know her better. The next step is to ask her out to join you on a date...for cofffee, or lunch. That's the process of getting to know her better. If after lunch, there's still interests from both side, then, you both decide how you want to proceed.
How else are you going to know if you're a good match if you don't spend the time exploring the possibility of a relationship?
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: How soon do you know... - 9/18/2008 1:14:53 AM
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skreyola
Posts: 1989
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Skrey, Driven is just talking about a date. Let's say you meet a woman in a bookstore. You talked and there's some attraction. So, you want to get to know her better. The next step is to ask her out to join you on a date...for cofffee, or lunch. That's the process of getting to know her better. If after lunch, there's still interests from both side, then, you both decide how you want to proceed.
How else are you going to know if you're a good match if you don't spend the time exploring the possibility of a relationship?
Ah. Well, I might or might not consider going for coffee to be a date. Probably, it is a subjective thing, based on how attractive she seems.
*shrug* Again, knowing if I want to spend more time with someone mostly happens quickly if it's negative.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
Open Source is good stewardship!
I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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When I'm in my element (musician), I often enter a different realm and my demeanor prompts a lot of people to think I'm weird. 
