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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/24/2008 9:27:29 AM
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magdaleine
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Just a little? We could bring it back on topic by putting a cob of corn into the hand of each homeless person who reaches out to us.
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Maggie
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/24/2008 4:09:01 PM
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Kat_D
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I got to thinking about this thread and was reminded of the time I volunteered at a certain church in my city that fed the homeless every day. I was so excited, but my enthusiasm was soon reduced to disgust on my first day there.
The way the volunteers from that church treated and spoke about the homeless was appalling...
I heard things like...
"If you want another cookie, go back outside and get to the end of the line." (which was a block long).
"Don't forget to wear your elastic gloves...you don't want to touch them barehanded."
"Brace yourself...here they come. It's like a herd of elephants!"
"Aw, give them the old stuff, they don't care...what do they want for free?"
There wasn't the slightest hint of graciousness extended to any of the homeless that came in that day. Everything that was said to them or about them was spoken in a gruff, condescending way.
I tried to make a difference by giving the man the cookie he asked for and speaking to them with kindness and compassion only to be chastised by the rest of the staff.
I never went back.
To me, their attitude and heart towards the homeless canceled out any good deed they thought they were doing.
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~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/24/2008 4:41:43 PM
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bzirk
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That's sad.
Years ago when I lived in Texas, I went to a pretty big church, and there was a woman there who looked kind of like Cindy McCain (read that: she was a pretty blonde woman in her 50s who was perfectly coifed and dressed all the time). I hate to admit that she was the last one I would think would work with the homeless. Hopefully, I've changed a little in my thinking since then. Anyway, this woman started the huge care ministry at our church and worked with these people in a way that was fantastic. She really knew how to talk to them. Come to find out she had been homeless when she was younger.
_____________________________
may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/24/2008 9:10:51 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
LOL! or rather not.  
When I worked at the homeless shelter in a large town near us, it shocked me to realise how many of the guys were ex-servicemen. Served their country, come home, and then had nothing to do and nowhere to live once they'd finished their time. Many of them were traumatised by what they'd seen and had to do. Some of them had been enticed into becoming mercenaries, and deeply regretted it on a number of counts.
I wonder if it's the same in the USA - if a number of the homeless are ex-servicemen (do you call them Veterans, or Vets, there?)
All too often, it is the same here, Manda, especially Viet Nam soldiers, but we are seeing some of the same from some awfully young people, men and women now. It is stunning.
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Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/24/2008 11:18:02 PM
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magdaleine
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Kat_D, I had a similar experience years ago. It too disillusioned and angered me. The homeless and poor deserve respect and they like good food as much as anyone. Being homeless doesn't change your taste buds.
I shook a dirty, homeless person's hand today--twice. I was leaving the doctor's office. I had debated on a variety of options but I'm glad I decided to go back to my car. I had only walked about a dozen steps when a man at the side of the sidewalk stopped me. There were lots of people walking past so I don't know why he chose me. He's tall and very thin--so thin that his cheeks are hollow. He spoke politely and softly and told me about him and his wife. Now it's quite possible that he's a good actor and he isn't all he claimed--he talked a lot about Jesus, carries a New Testament in his pocket, seemed like a really nice guy--and I actually asked him about that. He told me I could go to the downtown patrols and ask them. They know him. Well, easy to say that because I likely won't check with them and if I do, all he has to do is disappear while I do that.
I decided to believe him and gave what coins I had in my pocket--only a few dollars. But I also asked him (since he claimed to be a committed Christian) what church he's connected with. He named several but said (probably correctly) that these churches really feel uncomfortable with people like him. So I told him about my church, told him about the bi-weekly drop-ins for street people and told him that it would be good to see him on Sunday and if he sees me and I don't seem to see him, come and talk to me. I forget what people look like (though I think I'll remember this guy). We stood and chatted for about ten minutes or so. I so enjoy that sort of thing. I hope he DOES become connected with my church. I thought afterwards that I should have offered to drive him to church. I might be able to do that yet. I could go hunting for him. I'll have to think about that.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/25/2008 11:08:17 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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Maggie, thank you for writing that. You reminded me of my first wake-up call toward the hungry, although it was in no way similar to what you wrote here.
I had been told time again to stop at a particular small drive-through hamburger joint, because they were supposed to be clean, have great burgers, and the milkshakes were supposed to be top-notch. Since i hardly ever went in that area, finding myself there, I drove up, got my order, and started to drive away, when I decided to stop in the adjoining car wash.
I stopped briefly, opened my little treasure, and observed a tasty-looking hamburger with the meat hanging beyond the bun, with juicy tomatoes, ample lettuce, and onion -- just right. I closed the foil-wrap around to to retain the warmth, and put it back in the bag. "I don't like fries," I thought. "Why did I get them?" I took one, closed the bag around it all tightly, then drove toward the car wash.
But before I found a stall, I saw a man going through the trashcan behind the little drive-through. He was about my age but thin, and his life was obviously one on the streets. I wondered if he was just looking or if he was hungry.
Instead of entering the stall, I drove around the car wash and back toward the man. "Are you hungry?" He nodded silently.
"I just bought this," I said, showing him the bag and shake. "Do you want it?" Again, he nodded.
I handed everything out the window, apologizing. "I'm sorry! I opened the hamburger, but I didn't touch . . . ." But he was already gone, and so was a lot of that hamburger.
I sat there, thinking. He could not have cared less that I had opened the hamburger or that I had eaten a fry that I didn't even have a chance to explain. Why. And as I pondered the why, I realized I really wasn't hungry anymore, and my car wasn't that dirty.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/25/2008 7:05:37 PM
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agapetos
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Abiyah and Maggie, you are awesome people.
Out of interest, do you have anything like the Big Issue over there? I was started after someone saw 'Street News' being sold in New York. Compared with some places I've lived, there are few homeless in this area, but there are quite a few people who sell the magazine, especially in the nearby towns and cities. Even though these folk are trying to help themselves, there are many that won't acknowledge them. I don't always by a copy, but I am always polite to them, smile and say no thank you.
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/25/2008 8:26:00 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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I wish I were awesome, Agape. If I were, I would be doing far more for the homeless and the unborn.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/25/2008 11:05:43 PM
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magdaleine
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I went and looked, Stovie. It's a really cool idea but no, I've never seen it. Their site says the following:quote:
Today The Big Issue is an international entity, existing in Australia, Japan, South Africa, Namibia and Kenya. so it looks like Canada and the US are excluded.
quote:
Abiyah and Maggie, you are awesome people.
I think it's a matter of being in the right place at the right time--nothing really awesome about that.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/26/2008 3:09:42 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
I thought afterwards that I should have offered to drive him to church. I might be able to do that yet. I could go hunting for him. I'll have to think about that.
If you do decide to, I'd respectfully suggest that you make sure and have someone else with you (an adult). That helps with the safety aspect, and also with not wanting him to become too attached to you personally. It's very easy for a vulnerable person to become dependent on one who is kind to him/her (as one would to a parent as a young child); when opposite genders are involved (and sometimes of course even with same genders) their feelings can become even more inappropriate. Having someone else with you won't totally prevent those things happening, but it will make it less likely.
I honestly think we also need to be careful about inviting homeless people to church - because it's too easy for us to inadvertently give the message that coming to church is something they need to do to please *us*, and to get help. Believe it or not, kindness can be manipulative. People can end up responding to the kindness, and doing whatever they think we want them to do in order to keep receiving it. They can end up coming to church for our sake, rather than for their own sake and for the sake of Christ.
I am not saying at all that we shouldn't invite homeless people to church, just that IMO we should think very carefully about it, and pray, before doing anything like that.
< Message edited by manda59 -- 9/26/2008 9:43:50 AM >
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/26/2008 9:31:50 AM
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magdaleine
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Good advice, Manda. Thank you.
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Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/26/2008 10:19:26 AM
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agapetos
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quote:
Are the magazines sold by a particular amount? Do you mean the cost of them? They're sold at the same price across the country (to my knowledge). Vendors are forbidden from begging, so to accept more than the price would probably break the conditions.
quote:
so it looks like Canada and the US are excluded. Maggie, I saw that, but I wondered if there was anything like it on sale, different name and such, you know?
quote:
I think it's a matter of being in the right place at the right time--nothing really awesome about that. There are many who will have been in the 'right place at the right time' but few who stopped and did something.
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/26/2008 11:27:44 AM
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Odeliya
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga
Please forgive me for not responding to this post right away. To say I was stunned would be to put it lightly. Thank you so much for such a sweet compliment.
oh, NP, you r welcome, Abiyah, I myself just caught up with the thread. Is very good, honest and interesting topic. Nice to see the old cliché that Americans are spoiled, selfish, and childish brats being disproven, at least in part :) - i resend the link to all my friends who can read English.
There are so many sincere, nice, caring for others people posted here.
The OT question has been exhaustively answered already , but it is still nice to lurk here…
Yeah, it was not just a compliment,I was truthful. Even we don’t usually post on same threads, your pic is lovely and makes me smile, you look tremendously like one of my aunts, only she is more darker-skinned (my mom’s family orig. from morocco) She broke some hearts when she married the first time, and even the 2nd, when remarried at 52, as a widow – by then she also acquired some good brains and a kind heart, in addition to pretty face.
Again, thanks to the OP poster!
_____________________________
Proverbs XI:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/26/2008 11:38:46 AM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
quote:
Are the magazines sold by a particular amount? Do you mean the cost of them? They're sold at the same price across the country (to my knowledge). Vendors are forbidden from begging, so to accept more than the price would probably break the conditions.
Vendors buy them for half the cover price, then sell them at the full cover price - the idea being that once they've sold them, they can buy more for the next day.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/27/2008 10:27:21 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18075
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
Abiyah and Maggie, you are awesome people.
Out of interest, do you have anything like the Big Issue over there? I was started after someone saw 'Street News' being sold in New York. Compared with some places I've lived, there are few homeless in this area, but there are quite a few people who sell the magazine, especially in the nearby towns and cities. Even though these folk are trying to help themselves, there are many that won't acknowledge them. I don't always by a copy, but I am always polite to them, smile and say no thank you.
Boston has a newspaper called Spare Change. It is sold by both homeless and former homeless people for a dollar. It has articles submitted by homeless people on how life is like to be homeless. The goal of the newspaper is to both educate people about life on the streets and to help those less fortunate to get back on the ground as well.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/28/2008 12:13:31 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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I have heard of these papers in the USA, but I haven't seen them. I wish I had.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/28/2008 5:38:57 AM
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humbleinspirit
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I have bought them before in the past. I remember once when doing a prayer walk, I went to make copies of part of it that had a listing of all the food kitchens in the area. The employee at the copy place had the nerve to ask me if I had pemission to make the 5 copies or so that I had requested.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/28/2008 10:40:49 AM
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bzirk
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I'd love to see something like that.
_____________________________
may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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