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One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 12:50:07 PM
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saved_from_wrath
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Joined: 8/12/2008
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Hi. I am not sure. I do not know if being a single is a joy. I have not really had any joy, or I feel that way most of the time. I know I am single by default. Understand this is only my martial status and there is more life than being married. I do not want to marry someone I do not know, I ve know a lot of people whom are or were married they did not have good mojo while they were hooked up.
I think like I said in a previous post I have a little less baggage then I had a while back. I think not having joy being free of a spouse is a symptom of other manifestations in my life
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 3:20:42 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5128
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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I was gone for a while..........had a llittle down time at work in between projects so started posting again.........today or tomorrow will probably be my last day for a while again.
To be on topic about joy.........beware of things which are fake joys in that they masquerade as something giving you joy when in reality they just leave you empty.
Joy can only come from the Spirit.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 3:29:11 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I definitely agree.
. . . which brings me to a point I was going to make earlier:
Joy and happiness are not synonymous.
People can have Joy in the midst of very unhappy situations or experiences.
I have often pondered this "joy" thing. In the midst of some very sad, very trying situations, I have experienced a feeling. But I would not put the word "joy" to it. However, it's the only feeling I can imagine people are talking about when they talk about the "joy" you can have when in the midst of hard things.
The word I would put to that feeling is "fulfillment". I use that word because I feel "full". I feel as if I am right where God wants me, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and He is right there with me working alongside, and He is pleased. It's a "full" feeling. It is definitely a positive, good feeling.
But "joy" is not the right word, imho.
Anybody else relate?
Hope this isn't too far off-topic...
shallbe
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 3:30:47 PM
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joy2give2u
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From: Indiana
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quote:
And on the flip side, people can be happy but not possess that inner Joy that just shines from inside us.
Agreed
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 3:38:49 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5128
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From: Indiana
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quote:
I have often pondered this "joy" thing. In the midst of some very sad, very trying situations, I have experienced a feeling. But I would not put the word "joy" to it. However, it's the only feeling I can imagine people are talking about when they talk about the "joy" you can have when in the midst of hard things.
I do not believe Joy is an emotion..........
quote:
The word I would put to that feeling is "fulfillment". I use that word because I feel "full". I feel as if I am right where God wants me, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and He is right there with me working alongside, and He is pleased. It's a "full" feeling. It is definitely a positive, good feeling.
But "joy" is not the right word, imho.
Hey Ester I will have to respectfully disagree. Joy is the correct word since it is the word the Bible uses as the strength of the Lord. I think fulfillment is different because in my experience there have been many times I have not felt fulfilled yet have still had joy.
It is possible we all define Joy differently based on our own experiences and how we "feel" it but I know it is not a feeling and it is not based on emotions.
For me Joy is a deep singing and over the top hope that makes my spirit dance even when my heart is crying but it is not an emotion.
The closest thing I can compare it too is the deep,"feeling" of love, hope,excitement and faith you "feel" in your spirit when you are so caught up in praising the Lord nothing else seems to matter but being in His presence.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 4:07:51 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 25990
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When CS took his life, I was devastated. It was the most painful experience I ever walked through. It was a very dark and very excruciating abyss.
But in the midst of that, I had not only Our Lord's Peace, but also His Joy.
I had His Peace because I knew then (as I know now) that my life . . . my entire life . . . was (and is) in Our Lord's Hand. In fact, the very morning that CS died (and before I even knew he had), Our Lord very clearly gave me a Scripture to hold onto . . . Joshua 1:9 (Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.)
HIS Peace carried me through all that ick and yuck.
But yes, I even had Our Lord's Joy; even in the midst of the extreme sadness I felt during that first day, first week, first year. I would go to bed at night and hold my Bible to my chest and cry myself to sleep. I would cry until I couldn't breathe. I would wake up in the mornings and immediately start crying as soon as I opened my eyes. I would walk through my days with my heart repeatedly breaking into pieces. Even now, what CS did can bring quick tears of deep sadness to my eyes.
But during all that, I still had Our Lord's Joy. I was able to find it in the innocence of a 3-year little girl who told me one day, with her arms extended, how much she loved CS. I was able to find it while listening to people tell me their memories of CS. I was able to experience Joy through the ways that some local entities chose to honor CS's memory that first summer after his death. I was able to experience Our Lord's Joy by knowing that there were people who were so very willing to take care of me.
Sunrises and sunsets during that time gave me incredible joy . . . and still do. The beauty of nature that surrounded me was truly quite a joyful thing for me. And above everything else, I was able to live in Our Lord's Joy simply by knowing that He was (and is) my Lord; that he would (and continues) to take care of me.
I was able to walk through that nightmare and still smile, giggle and even sometimes have hearty belly laughs during it all.
I've lived through "joyless" periods . . . it's a most empty place to be. And the times that I have gone through such times were really because of my own choosing (I'm speaking strictly from my own experience and not for anyone else).
I can choose to live in Our Lord's Joy or I can choose to not.
And like Joy said in her first post of this thread, Our Lord's Joy IS my strength. In fact. Nehemiah 8:10 is one of my favorite verses (incidentally, so is Joshua 1:9).
Nehemiah 8:10 has been my life verse for probably 12-15 years now.
And, I'm so very glad for that. I cannot imagine having to living through my husband's suicide without the strength that came from Our Lord's Joy. I don't think I would have made it.
During the past 3 years, I've blogged about this in my blog here in the forums. I even often sign my posts and even notes, emails and letters with "HIS Peace and HIS Joy" (even during that first year after CS's death).
So, yes, for me, "Joy" very much is the right word for what I said in my previous post.
It's not my joy that I'm speaking of; it's Our Lord's Joy . . . and, for me, there is a huge difference.
I don't try to operate under my own joy; because frankly I don't think that it would be possible to do on a continual basis.
But HIS JOY! Wow! His Joy is what I've experienced and is what I'm talking about.
_____________________________
Hey there! This is Sharon-Marie, and you have reached my signature. I may not be here for a while; but if you'd like, please leave a message over in that ramblin’ thread.
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 4:15:41 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5128
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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Wow Sharon-Marie your post made me cry.........Wow........
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/12/2008 4:26:47 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1258
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:
ORIGINAL: saved_from_wrath
Hi. I am not sure. I do not know if being a single is a joy. I have not really had any joy, or I feel that way most of the time. I know I am single by default. Understand this is only my martial status and there is more life than being married. I do not want to marry someone I do not know, I ve know a lot of people whom are or were married they did not have good mojo while they were hooked up.
I think like I said in a previous post I have a little less baggage then I had a while back. I think not having joy being free of a spouse is a symptom of other manifestations in my life
Saved From Wrath, welcome to the fourms.
What concerns me about your post is you are saying not having joy because you don't have a spouse is a system is a all out cop-out. It reminds me of faith teachers telling folks that the reason you are not healed is because you have sin in your life, which is not true.
When Greg Laurie lost his child two weeks ago, when someone asked him, he said that "I'm doing fine in the moment." The life of a Christian is like that too, it sometimes up, sometimes down. But those down moments we are picked back up because we are reminded that God loves us and cares what we are going through, but at the same time, we should not let the enemy steal our joy.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 10:46:26 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4183
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
What concerns me about your post is you are saying not having joy because you don't have a spouse is a system is a all out cop-out. It reminds me of faith teachers telling folks that the reason you are not healed is because you have sin in your life, which is not true.
actually she kinda said the opposite:
quote:
ORIGINAL: saved_from_wrath
I think not having joy being free of a spouse is a symptom of other manifestations in my life
and i think it's true ... she doesn't have joy and doesn't think getting married would suddenly change that and i believe that ...
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 10:46:55 AM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5128
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
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Joy is an amazing thing..........a gift from the Lord so precious we are often left to marvel at it's wonder.
Last night, after spending quite a while talking to an uncle about my cousin who died, the weight of others pains was unbearable.
My mind was full of thoughts of my cousin, how young she was, how I just saw her not long ago, how healthy she was, and how much pain and anguish her parents were in along with her children.
My mind couldn't stop thinking of how I can't go to the funeral and say goodbye because I will be walking side by side with my best friend as she visits her mother's house for the first time since her death (she was down on the ice and just now could get off. She and her mother were very close, as close as my father and I) and how sick I felt knowing what was to come today, how painful watching the funeral again with her will be, how many tears will be shed.
My heart was broken, completely broken, and I didn't think it could take anymore pain.........It hurt for the pain my loved ones were in and it hurt because I could not seem to cry for the ones I lost as well.........
Yet in the midst of my mind and heart's pain.........my spirit was full of hope. My spirit was singing a song of praise to the Lord....it was dancing in celebration along with the angels in heaven as Susie joined them..........my spirit was full of joy.
I was sitting outside trying to find some release from the emotions bombarding me...........
I posted and though a hug and prayer from a friend online helped I still knew I needed to let go of my emotions......let my heart and mind go for a moment.... I needed them to take a back seat while my spirit, full of joy, came to the forefront.
I got off line and began to drive to a state park..........
All of a sudden a light caught my attention in the black, starless night.
The moon, she was shinning, still covered with a black cloud but one sheer enough I could see a dim light of her through it.
As I looked at the moon the Holy Spirit covered my heart and mind with a blanket of joy. A blanket so warm, so soft, so comforting and so safe.
Like the moon, the Holy Spirit's joy is always there, always inside of us even if the pain and darkness seem to be covering it up........sometimes we just don't "feel" it until we ask to be covered up.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 1:33:36 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1258
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
What concerns me about your post is you are saying not having joy because you don't have a spouse is a system is a all out cop-out. It reminds me of faith teachers telling folks that the reason you are not healed is because you have sin in your life, which is not true.
actually she kinda said the opposite:
quote:
ORIGINAL: saved_from_wrath
I think not having joy being free of a spouse is a symptom of other manifestations in my life
and i think it's true ... she doesn't have joy and doesn't think getting married would suddenly change that and i believe that ...
Well, maybe I misread her post..my bad..
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 1:46:37 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4183
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Well, maybe I misread her post..my bad..
no worries, i agree with your post too! i had to read more about your greg example before having an opinion as i don't agree with just telling people you are fine. at least safe people - i think it's harmful to put up a facade and not be authentic but i see on his blog he does talk about mourning so i can understand your quote more in context.
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 1:54:02 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6043
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Sharon-Marie ... what a beautiful post! You truly exemplify the joy of the Lord through your words and through the way you live your life.
I too experience true joy through my relationship with the Lord. Even through the difficult times, the tears and the sadness, the trials that make me grit my teeth and say "Yes, Lord, I know You are teaching me another lesson because You feel I am now ready to learn it" even when I don't agree with Him ... even then, I feel a joy deep in my heart. The joy is knowing that He is there, the lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path. (Psalm 119:105) His is guiding me through it. His hand is outstretched so I can grab hold of it when I get weak, He is my strength. (Phillipians 4:13)
True joy is permanent and it's something that cannot be shaken no matter what we go through. It's what allows me to persevere.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: One of the topics says the joys of being single - 8/13/2008 10:11:38 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2992
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
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So many of you had such beautiful posts. I'm not gonna even come close.
This folder is about the joys AND struggles of being single. Saved, it is clear that you are struggling. Welcome!
As for me, I don't struggle with singleness any more than I "struggle" with living in Ohio. It is just the place where I am.
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
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