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RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything

 
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RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:30:19 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smokymtnsanta

I posted this in another thread but since y'all are talking about cats guess I can post it here also:

Kerr got a kitten and tried to teach it to speak.
Every day for six years he would recite the alphabet,
numbers and letters.

For hours and hours Kerr would say to the cat, "Repeat
after me ..." and then he would mention a word or a
sentence. He was waiting for the cat to repeat the
spoken words, but alas ... the only thing the cat did
for those six years was to look back at his 'teacher.'

And then after six years came the ultimate surprise:
the cat said, "Look out! The roof is about to cave in!"

Kerr was so Completely flabbergasted that all he
could do was stare at the cat with his mouth open.
Seconds later he was crushed by the falling roof.

The cat shook his head and said, "For six years he
tries to get me to speak. Then when I do, does he
listen?!"



Luckily, the cat was available to give a deposition in the lawsuit against the roofing company, and a favorable settlement was reached.

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 951
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:31:36 PM   
armydude


Posts: 16894
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		I have but one question...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smokymtnsanta

I posted this in another thread but since y'all are talking about cats guess I can post it here also:

Kerr got a kitten and tried to teach it to speak.
Every day for six years he would recite the alphabet,
numbers and letters.

For hours and hours Kerr would say to the cat, "Repeat
after me ..." and then he would mention a word or a
sentence. He was waiting for the cat to repeat the
spoken words, but alas ... the only thing the cat did
for those six years was to look back at his 'teacher.'

And then after six years came the ultimate surprise:
the cat said, "Look out! The roof is about to cave in!"

Kerr was so Completely flabbergasted that all he
could do was stare at the cat with his mouth open.
Seconds later he was crushed by the falling roof.

The cat shook his head and said, "For six years he
tries to get me to speak. Then when I do, does he
listen?!"



Luckily, the cat was available to give a deposition in the lawsuit against the roofing company, and a favorable settlement was reached.
Why does it not surprise me that Kerr thought of this part?

_____________________________

No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
Post #: 952
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:34:04 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		Because, being a gentleman, you are never shocked or surprised.

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 953
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:35:06 PM   
armydude


Posts: 16894
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw

Because, being a gentleman, you are never shocked or surprised.
Yeah! That's it!

_____________________________

No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
Post #: 954
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:37:44 PM   
phosadaud


Posts: 10624
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		There are certain smileys that I identify with certain posters.

This one always make me think of you Kerr!

_____________________________

~Kristin~

Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
Post #: 955
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:39:26 PM   
armydude


Posts: 16894
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phosadaud

There are certain smileys that I identify with certain posters.

This one always make me think of you Kerr!
Interesting. I always think of Kerr when I see ...

_____________________________

No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
Post #: 956
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:42:20 PM   
phosadaud


Posts: 10624
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		That too...

_____________________________

~Kristin~

Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
Post #: 957
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:50:41 PM   
Qtman


Posts: 9935
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline 		Kerr I just checked my in office mail box and saw a magazine in side. I was quite shocked when I pulled this piece of mail out for a loo see. In big letters across the front it read "CRIMINAL CATALOG.' Geeze I didn't realize there was a market for them and here I have a catalog of them.

_____________________________

MERRY CHRISTMAS! For those that do not partake Happy December 25th



Body Piercings
Post #: 958
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:52:33 PM   
armydude


Posts: 16894
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Qtman

Kerr I just checked my in office mail box and saw a magazine in side. I was quite shocked when I pulled this piece of mail out for a loo see. In big letters across the front it read "CRIMINAL CATALOG.' Geeze I didn't realize there was a market for them and here I have a catalog of them.
Well having them in a catalog makes your job easier...

_____________________________

No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
Post #: 959
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 4:55:50 PM   
phosadaud


Posts: 10624
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Qtman

Kerr I just checked my in office mail box and saw a magazine in side. I was quite shocked when I pulled this piece of mail out for a loo see. In big letters across the front it read "CRIMINAL CATALOG.' Geeze I didn't realize there was a market for them and here I have a catalog of them.




Maybe it's for when you can't solve a crime. You can order a criminal to arrest and convict.

"Need a burglary suspect? Ted here has 5 years experience. He is especially skilled with picking door locks and evading large dogs. Fingerprint evidence is $10 extra."

_____________________________

~Kristin~

Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
Post #: 960
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 6:40:05 PM   
frog43


Posts: 818
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		Sam, is your cat allowed ammo for that machine gun? Or is he limited to one bullet, like you?

_____________________________

Fully Relying On God
Post #: 961
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 6:50:06 PM   
frog43


Posts: 818
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		Mike, I forgot to tell you that Judge Kendall Lawson from Hawkins county presided over the trial last week. The clerk said it was because Judge Vance knew someone in the case. As much as I like Judge Vance, I appreciated how Judge Lawson got through the jury instructions much faster. Judge Vance reads them almost verbatim from the book (is that the Barristering for Dummies he was reading from?), while Judge Lawson summarized.

_____________________________

Fully Relying On God
Post #: 962
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 7:21:16 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		They are both excellent Judges.

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 963
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 11:23:27 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		USA women's beach volleyball team won the first set in the gold medal match.

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 964
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 11:45:42 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		They won!!!!!!!!

Misty May and Kerri Walsh repeat as Gold medal winners.




_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 965
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/20/2008 11:58:00 PM   
crankius


Posts: 4467
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Wow, Kerrlaw, you are up to 9000 posts. Is that the highest count you've had?

_____________________________

Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16

SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
Post #: 966
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 12:10:40 AM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		No. I had about 9,400 until they deleted the second Ask Kerrlaw and one of the Geezer threads this weekend.

Biggest hit since the beloved coffee thread went down.

I could have more, but I go for quality.




_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 967
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 12:18:02 AM   
crankius


Posts: 4467
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Oh yeah, I go for quality too.

This week I'm being a pest in the church folder.

_____________________________

Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16

SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
Post #: 968
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 7:40:41 AM   
GVfan


Posts: 17461
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: The Peach State
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw

I could have more, but I go for quality.





_____________________________

Donna Hefner
Acworth, Ga.

<--- JOY TO THE WORLD, THE LORD IS COME!

Come visit at http://www.myspace.com/donnashappenings
And my BLOG, Keepin' An Eye on Greater
Post #: 969
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 2:38:19 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline 		U.S. Womens soccer team upset Brazil for the Gold Medal.


Womens softball lost to Japan in the finals, their first ever loss in the Olympics, but won silver.

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 970
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 2:42:46 PM   
bluestone


Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline 		wow! Gold in soccer!!!

I think of softball as "our" game, so am sad we did not get gold.

_____________________________

I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
Post #: 971
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 3:34:24 PM   
BelovedHandMaiden


Posts: 3992
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		I have to work tonight and I did not get enough sleep... hope I make it.

_____________________________

The Rapture -- true separation of church and state.

<--So blessed!!!
Post #: 972
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 4:49:50 PM   
Smokymtnsanta


Posts: 13320
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw

No. I had about 9,400 until they deleted the second Ask Kerrlaw and one of the Geezer threads this weekend.

Biggest hit since the beloved coffee thread went down.

I could have more, but I go for quality.




_____________________________

Visit www.smokymountainsanta.com

Cookie Recipes: http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0001.html

The place to be in the Smokies: www.hiddenmountain.com

CHRISTmas time's a comin'
Post #: 973
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 4:52:57 PM   
BelovedHandMaiden


Posts: 3992
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		I keep hearing reading about the "beloved coffee thread" --- why doesn't someone re-start it???

_____________________________

The Rapture -- true separation of church and state.

<--So blessed!!!
Post #: 974
RE: Ask Kerrlaw Anything - 8/21/2008 6:42:25 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BelovedHandMaiden

I keep hearing reading about the "beloved coffee thread" --- why doesn't someone re-start it???


You can't go home again.

The Lion's den is pretty much serving the same purpose.

I may include the word coffee in my next thread (since I have to change it every month).

_____________________________

That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 975
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